Between Plans you find Help

So here’s the thing.

I was writing a little post... um ok, a rather long post... on sensitive children and tapping into their deeper essence, while offering tools for awareness to them... and then my computer had an issue and needed to restart. Post was lost. Yeah, sometimes I’m bad at saving drafts.

So, when I restarted and realized the post was no where I was faced with two options. Go back and re-type, or chalk it up as Someone telling me, the piece wasn’t working.

The piece wasn’t working. The ideas were there, the words were not. It’s been a bit of a week, with a son having some teeth issues and life being a little on the weird side. The writing spirits weren’t flowing and I knew it as I tried to plow on.

When it crashed there was a sense of relief. Now I can write inspired from something right here, right now.

Bloggers will tell you to plan a bit ahead. But most parents know, life is what happens between plans and that’s just the way it should be.

So, today, let’s talk about if something ain’t working, try a different angle.

And if you can’t fix it, open up to a solution.

It might have been just a blogpost, but really lately I’ve been consciously aware of how openness to life creates new opportunities in every direction and resistance, or pushing on something, is more prevalent than we think, and in the openness more examples are presenting themselves.

But the more we focus, push, try and force something into existence, the more we are screaming to the universe “I NEED THIS NOW!” And we all know how hard it is to give something to a whiny child. For some reason, when a child whines, we want to do the opposite to what they want.

Well, the universe feels the same. In fact, because we are screaming we NEED this or that... that’s what the universe hears “NEED”. So that’s what the universe gives. We just keep on needing it.

So, when things aren’t working, our spirit gets all cramped up and tries to send up a little nudge with the feeling of tension or stress. “stop,” she whispers “this isn’t the way.”

As we push forward, oozing the work out of ourselves like toothpaste from the tube, spirit sighs, and whispers “I’ll wait over here. Where it feels good.”

When we turn our attention from what’s giving us that hassle, when we stop the forcing, searching, stressing, worrying or simply needing, and focus instead on Openness, Spirit jumps up and says... “Now we can flow.”

When we feel better and release, we can rely on “fairy help” as one FB group member called it. The universal powers jump in behind us and say, “we’ve got you covered.”

And because we’re not focused on Need... we’re focused on Openness, freedom and presence,

We have an open window for solutions to flow in.

So, where does this come in with parenting?

Everywhere.

From sleepless nights to breastfeeding issues. From children getting into trouble to a messy house. To children taking parents for granted or teenagers worrying us sick.

Truly, we push buttons of NEED all over the place. The minute we stop, the other penny drops and solutions become focused.

We just have to remember it at each overwhelming time, each stressful moment.

Pressure and stress are our spirit’s way of saying “I can’t go there.”

Ironically the hardest part is the letting go. We are programmed to want to fix things and the more we want or try, the less we can.

It’s in the space of letting go that in-spirit-ation strikes and we suddenly feel a pull to the right action.

We struggle, flapping against the water as we feel ourselves sinking, but in the moment of floating and a bit of space, we are lifted and carried to shore.

Or we find that we were drowning in about an inch of water and we can stand up with ease.

Fairy help, universal flow, angels, Source. We can be problem focused or solution allowing.

The 3 Sources of Guilt

So over the past few weeks we’ve been looking at guilt and how to listen to your own inner guidance webinar, but in truth I know how a scheduled event can cause stress and a replay can sit there for awhile, always as a “I should watch that.”

system. I presented the three sources of guilt to you in the

(ugh, and then that leads to feeling guilty for not watching something about feeling guilty! That really takes the cake.)

So, I wanted to share with you the basic points discussed on Saturday, just for quick reference.

Because that’s what guilt is about. It’s about reference. It’s about knowing the sources of the guilty feelings and then weighing it up to see if it resonates with your authentic self.

So, here are the three types of guilt we discussed the other day:

Socially Implied- the feeling of the raised eyebrow when your house is messy. The feeling of your mother’s eyes on you when let your child down from the table without finishing dinner, or the feeling of ickiness when your child is having a tantrum in public. Socially implied guilt comes from all sorts of directions and comes from when others, (friends, family or strangers) suggests we are doing it all wrong and we absorb it as truth. We feel guilty and are suddenly sneaking around breastfeeding or shuttering when our children don’t say excuse me that ONE TIME. We also find it when we assume others are thinking things about us, even if we know its true or not. When we feel people are thinking we are losing it or not doing a good job, when we allow those reflections to undermine ourselves.

Remedy- Reminding ourselves that everyone else has their own journey and that this is our own, frees ourselves to make our own mistakes and try out our own approaches. “Be yourself, everyone else is taken.” Times have changed and our parents approaches, or our grandparents’, were based on adifferent understanding of what a parent is. Therefore, why should they understand why we are trying something different. Children being seen and not heard still has a ghost like presence in the minds of so many and when children are taught to be the people they really are, it can scare others that they did it wrong. Trust in your own processes and know yourself. Trust in other people to have their own processes, life journeys and mistakes... even if they don’t get it from their perspective.

Personally Inflicted- Probably more deepseeded than Socially implied, personally inflicted guilt is generated within ourselves. We can have a concept of a “Parent’s” job and, because its thought through and not based on an authentic version of ourselves, it becomes full of “should’s” I should be able to work, play, discipline, cook, clean, mend, drive, schedule, sew, afford and love... and practice mindfulness, self care, meditation and yoga. When we miss a step on our imagined “should”, we feel guilt, which can then lead to a feeling of failure, unworthiness, and insecurity. It’s a spiral of guilt, which leads to us trying to do everything and doing nothing, and watering ourselves down in the process. We miss out on our authentic parenting experience, because we are too busy trying to be something impossible to be.

Remedy- Drop deep within yourself and allow yourself to be the person you came to be. Take a moment to release yourself from the prison you’ve created in your mind, observe your life experience rather than trying to control it. Who Are You and what’s authentic to you? When you allow yourself to show up as yourself you can feel your way to the best choices and decisions. Don’t like cooking... your child really won’t suffer if you can’t bake a cake, they just don’t like hunger. Don’t sew... then don’t. Can’t find time to meditate, realize that even focused play can be mind altering meditation, when you align in you moment and focus on fun. Be you, find you and radiate as You. And forgive yourself for those things that are someone else’s journey.

Spiritually Indicated

Not a guilt at all. Rather, it is the an indicator of our inner guidance system.

We are spiritual beings and our spirits are always there giving a heads up, directions and a general sense of GPS. When we start down a road that won’t lead to the right direction, we have a fellow driver that gives a nudge and says.. “not this way, turn around.”

Its not berating or mean, it will never undermine our intelligence or make us cry. Rather its simply a nudge in the right direction. It feels good when we acknowledge it.

Spiritually indicted “guilt”, is felt not thought. It builds us up, not knock us down. It supports Who we Really Are and doesn’t ask us to blend in.

It shows up when we’ve practiced being spiritually aware and built up our sense of where we’re heading.

In fact, it is the remedy... it doesn’t need one... because it’s not a negative feeling.

It comes from love.

During the webinar we also talked a bit about the law of attraction and how guilt can become an attraction point and about neural passage, with guilt becoming a habitual pattern.

So, now what?

Well, freeing yourself from guilt is truly about setting yourself free... no one can do it for you... but you can have support to start re-programming how you feel about your choices and making sure you are coming from your authentic self.

I’m trying to find the best way to support you on this journey and one way I’m offering is through a 4 week program for 8 participants. We’ll meet each Saturday and have a private FB group too, so we can really dig deep and change some negative chatter which feeds the guilt. It starts June 4^th, just in time for Summer break and right now is only $77 USD for all 4 weeks. That’s less than $20 a session and you’ll be having 1;1 time in the sessions, discussing your specific scenario, within a supportive group of people feeling the same way.

I’m really hoping we can take our community to this next level. It’s going to be so liberating and exciting to work together.

For more information you can visit here. Registration takes place there as well or you can email me at Christina@spirituallyawareparenting.com with any questions.

The Law of Attraction behind hosting a webinar

Sometimes resistance is... just a little bit of a pain in the neck.

As you may know, on Saturday I hosted my first webinar on google hangouts.

Now can I just say I used to consider myself quite good at technology. I’ve designed websites, I jumped on using the internet really quickly... hey I used to help edit home videos with double vcrs. I learnt quickly... until webinars.

For some reason, I’ve been trying to figure this out for awhile and getting nervous about it.

But someone told me, just jump in and the rest will follow so I jumped.The webinar went fine. It was a little like having a phone call with a toddler as I was trying to juggle managing the workings of the hangout which wasn’t co-operating at the same time as relaying information and talking through my points. Sadly, my Q& A component wasn’t working and that was incredibly frustrating... and yet so understandable.

Why? Because, even though I might be a coach in the law of attraction it doesn’t mean I don’t hold up the wrong sign occasionally. And quite honestly, I was nervous about the process, and the process gave me what I asked for.

It was a blip. The replay is readily available and technology is technology. No catastrophe, just a learning curve. But I had to laugh to myself at how resistance to something always plays a part in the results.

So, where else does this show up? What little things do we hold resistance to, that doesn’t necessarily provide such blatant proof?

Probably lots of things.

From getting enough sleep, to our children liking the food we make, to even feeling guilty. When we hold up a sign of something “going wrong”, although it might not go as hard as we expect it, it also won’t go as smoothly.

So, yeah, my webinar went well and the next one will be even better. And the next... and the next...

Life is a process; a delicious, learning full, incredible process and the idea that something has to be perfect the first time is one of the plagues of mommy guilt in the first place.

Because, unless you remember your past lives thoroughly, this is a first-time round. This is the first time you’ve been in the place you are. So claim it, ride it, and appreciate it.

Because around the corner is round number 2!

Want to check out my first webinar... here it is.

And I do have an exciting new project that I talk about in the last 5 minutes of the video!

Mother Day Guilt

So, we’re talking about guilt!

I mentioned last week that there are 3 kinds of guilt and we’ll be looking at them deeper over the coming weeks, but I wanted to draw a little attention to one of them... the self guilt... because for many moms its Mother’s Day this weekend and well, guilt can always play into any celebratory day.

So, as a mom, we can often feel like we give and give, and leave nothing for ourselves, so when its a time to celebrate, well ourselves, we claim “My day! I want a break.”

But then, we feel guilty for actually asking for that.

And we feel guilty for wanting that in the first place.

And we feel guilty when we feel upset for people not offering it and we have to ask.

And we feel guilty for needing it... as if we aren’t up to being the mom we want to be.

And, well, I think you get the picture.

And so, as with everything in this guilt themed couple of months, I’m here to shout Stop... and give yourself the space to forgive and love yourself.

Whether its mother’s day where you are, or not, I want to send you this small message on the wind.

I want you to feel it caressing your soul, your heart, and providing you with relief.

“Lovely Woman. Breathe Deep. Today, look in the mirror and applaud yourself. You are doing wonderfully. You have brought children into the world and are offering them a platform of love and support. You are allowed to also be Yourself...because that is who you came to be... and that is who your children chose to come to. They didn’t chose a cleaner, cook, or playmate. They didn’t chose someone to teach them how to do right or even how to be themselves. They chose you for you.”

Now, from that space... celebrate being a mom. Without forced sleep-ins or presents. Without “should” or “shouldn’ts” It is the have-to’s that create guilt.

So, celebrate Yourself, by dropping into the space of who Yourself is. Who are you, as a mom and as a person? Take that moment to appreciate all you are.

Remember the law of attraction? Well, ironically, when you take the focus from the Shoulds of celebrations, and focus on feeling good, the rest of the day takes care of itself. One feeling good moment to another.

Now... still struggling with guilt? Don’t forget to sign up for the webinar “Free Yourself From Guilt” as we break down all three kinds of guilt and deal with them directly!