It was our boy’s birthday yesterday. Six. Wow. Six years
since the moon was my midwife and we welcomed him into the world.
I often like to write on the birthdays of our children. They
are like my own personal days of celebration. Little white flags that cheer my
personal journey of parenthood. I don’t make any outside show for myself, just
little inner shouts of joy and a bit of reflection of the trip so far. It’s
been good. It is good. So Good.
Our boy’s birth though. His is a personal triumph. His was when
I finally shook my pre-determined concepts of how it was suppose to be, and
went a more inward, contemplative, meditative, Spiritually Aware Route. From
the moment he was conceived, our boy was my teacher.
Six years and nine months ago, I was stressed, distressed,
and overwhelmed. Our girls were five and six, just starting homeschooling, my
husband was renovating our home and we had a small homesteading farm, my family
was having problems too so I was on the phone to my parents, siblings and
friends all the time. I was excited to be pregnant, but scared too. I kept
thinking that surely all this would result in a miscarriage or some emergency.
5 years before our daughter had been born quickly at home
and then rushed to the hospital... for no apparent reason except for being a
bit early. I guess homebirths just weren’t the thing eleven years ago in
Canada. Upon arrival they prodded and injected against our will, she then ended
up in the ICU for 2 weeks. It was the worst 14 days of my life. I felt
voiceless, and guideless. I couldn’t find the space to tap into the Source of
wellbeing I had always known. The dark pit had me scared and overwhelmed. It
was isolating. Our older daughter was only ten months (Irish twins as they say)
So I went through the motions... aware only of my unawareness.
When I found out I was pregnant again those five years
later, I wanted it different... and then I found myself snowed under in
circumstance. Within a few months of teeter tottering I decided to rise above
it all and trust in my dearest Source.
I found a sense of
trinity with me, my son, and Source Energy/God. Suddenly I could know all was
well. When I fell into worrying about
how things were, I received a kick from our boy. When I was stressed and
unfocused I got two kicks. Little reminders that it was the moment that
mattered. That my imagination could be used for positive outcomes and that
appreciation and awareness created magic. Together we connected and pondered
life mysteries. We played, we laughed and I started to see the world through
his sense of reality. It was beautifully exhilarating.
When I greeted our son early in the morning on July 8th,
there were so many things which could have been focused on. I could have been scared or panicky, I could
have wrapped my mind around organizing or worrying about our daughters who were
a little freaked, or I could have doubted the wellness of everything and
questioned everything that had gone before. But instead I’ll never forget the
moment I saw him.
It was like greeting a good friend. I recognized him and he
did me as well.
I shouted out “my boy, there’s my boy.”
And from his essence he seemed to exude the statement. “I
told you all would be well.”
With the birth of our son, the concepts of Spiritually Aware
Parenting were born.
Find Connection within yourself first, and then you can find
incredible, extraordinary connections with your children. It is a cycle of love.
So often we all go about it the opposite way; worrying about
our children which knocks us off axis and disconnects us from our instincts...
preventing ourselves from sensing what our children really need.
I’m in the midst of fine-tuning my coaching packages as well
as sorting out my SAP Summer Challenge and in doing so I found myself asking
what drove me to do my pregnancy package. Funny how I should ask myself this so
near the anniversary of my boy’s birth... for there was the answer in front of
me.
Often life is chaotic and speeding all around us. The difference
finding that connection brings is magical. I experienced it firsthand. But
often it felt delusional. Often it felt silly to not just give in to the fear
and reality, the upsets and stresses and feel tossed about on the sea of
unknowingness.. If I had had someone who would have told me- Go for it. Trust
the Connection-meditate on your breath, focus your thoughts, Connect to all you
are. talk to your baby, relate to him. I wouldn’t have had so many moments of
feeling unprepared or isolated. Even during his birth I swayed from fear to
love and back again. The moon was my midwife only as it was the focus I shifted
to as I looked at her out the window and surrendered. It’s in the trust and
faith of wellbeing and love that creates more of the same and when we are
enthralled by that Power of Divinity and Love... oh each experience is
amplified by millions.
That’s why I do what I do. I love seeing parents feel that
connection with their unborn child, I love hearing them sigh in relief of
feeling the fear lift, even for enough time to seek a new perspective. I love
people seeing their pregnancy as a transformation, not just for their growing
baby, but for them; a time to define and fine tune themselves and focus their
intentions. Life is a magical winding path, with adventure everywhere.
Pregnancy is always proof of that.
So, I guess on this sixth birthday of our boy I need to
thank him. He taught me so much and still does and he will forever be that
little baby, giving me a little nudge telling me to trust and all is well.
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| Christina Fletcher's pregnancy book is available on her website www.spirituallyawareparenting.com or through Amazon and other online bookstores |
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