Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Too Guilty to be Perfect

To the woman at the playground today. I’m sorry.
I know that it might have seemed like I was kind of staring at you and your daughter as you struggled with your young son in your ergo carrier, and she was struggling with putting on her shoes, and was scared of going back on her bike.
I know you felt like I was judging you, but I really wasn’t.
I know you were trying to get everything together because you were feeling embarrassed, but you really didn’t have to be.
I was only trying to see if there was any room for me to help. I was pondering if I would be interfering if I was to help your daughter tie her shoes... or help you do the strap on your ergo.
I was trying to let you know, we’ve all been there and that I know how frustrating it can be.
I was trying to send you love and hold space for you.
And yet, I could feel the guilt you felt and the sense of failing and wanting to flee the scene.
I wanted to tell you; We’ve all been there. You have nothing to flee from.
We’ve all had those moments. The “I’ve got to get home, my baby is getting hungry, I’ve got to make supper, and contact those people, and get to that meeting and oh, my god, why will she not get her shoes on...” moments.
We’ve all had to walk away to find peace.
So, the next time, you feel weird about being at the park and having one of those moments, don’t feel embarrassed or weird. Ask a mom for help, or trust that we’ve all been there. Know that it will get easier, and soon you’ll find the grove where you look at your older daughter and ask her to help with your straps and then you can help her with hers.

I wish I had been more articulate and said this to the young mom I saw at the park today. Having had the topic of guilt come up on the Spiritually Aware Parenting Facebook group this week and seeing how guilt taunts and haunts most of the members, it’s safe to say it torments all of us. Somewhere along the road of time we’ve learnt that we should be no less than perfect, and that with ever growing to-do lists, distractions, jobs, and studies about spending time and attention with our children, it never seems there’s enough time, let alone perfection.

So, we feel guilty for not being able to achieve the impossible.
Oh, and then we feel guilty for taking a few moments off from trying to be perfect.
We’ve got ourselves in quite the vibrational trap, don’t we?

And, as we find out more and more about what we “should” and what we “shouldn’t” be doing, and the more articles friends and family kindly tell us about to point out our misgivings the tighter we wind ourselves, and the more we lose sight of Who we Are... and the parent we really want to be.
We feel guilty if our house is messy, or if we haven’t spent time with our kids, guilty over being on too much screens, or not reading enough, guilty about cleaning too much and not playing enough, or playing too much and having dishes in the sink. We feel bad if we think our parents, neighbors, and strangers disapprove, but deep down know we need to approve of ourselves and so we feel bad because we don’t even know what we feel is the right course any more.
 Phew. With such a tug of war on our attention it’s no wonder we have problems focusing.

And so, it’s time to call a truce. It’s time to forgive ourselves, clear the space in our hearts and minds and truly decide what’s important to ourselves and our families... guilt free. Guilt free so we can feel what our Spirits, our Source and our sense of selves are trying to tell us what to do. Guilt free so we can feel our way to the right solutions.

And Guess what? We’re going to do it together. I’ve got a few things to sort out and then I’ve got some big announcements to be made.
I can tell you right now that May and June of 2016 are destined to be exciting months, liberating months, which will release you from guilt and into a space of intuitive clarity and authentic concepts of the real “shoulds” in your life. So you can enjoy your children’s play without feeling bad about dishes, and enjoy your thoughts when doing chores, without feeling guilty for something else. We’ll even clear guilt of taking some self care time, where you and yourself can spend some time together, without feeling like it’s too large of luxury.

Stay tuned. (I can’t express how excited I am!)

Monday, April 18, 2016

5 Steps to Less Screen Time

It’s everywhere, and yes, even sometimes in my own house.
Screentime overdose.
It doesn’t take all of the studies that exist to know that our children, and ourselves, are glued to our screens too often. We’re missing out on present moment living due to computers, smartphones, and television. Remember how on weekends, streets used to be lined with children playing? Now, often residential areas are like ghost towns, just because everyone is stuck inside.
And it’s not just our children. We can’t say it is. Facebook and notifications distract us from our family and we offer nothing but an example of distraction; distraction from life itself.
I would love to say that I was a parent that had kept electronics from my children. I was so close, our daughters were 8 before they had ever tried a computer game. Living off grid for a long period of time, without highspeed internet, had kept everything pretty limited. But then we moved, got busy, they had homeschool programs online, we got a shop, and soon our boy wanted to take part in games with his sisters... boom. We were lost.
It happens. It spirals. My last hooray is staying away from smartphones simply because I don’t want to tempt myself.
Life. That’s what’s at risk here. Life and tools for life. I’ve felt my way to the point that, for me, it’s not about keeping my children away from technology, it’s part of their generational make-up, rather I need to help them use it with awareness. We have the opportunity to offer our children solutions, awareness to their focus and attention, as well as, hey, a serious amount of fun play  time. Life flips by while we scan newsfeeds and cat videos... not to mention the numbing effect of violent video games and the emotional turmoil experienced by children in the name of entertainment.  But what’s scarier... if something can be... is the fact that “if you don’t lose it you lose it.” If you don’t know how to follow passions, interests, and wonderment, you lose the ability to experience it at all.
So, here’s my list of 5 things you can do to start curbing screentime. (and please note, there’s not really any “enforced” abandonment of screens entirely. In order to offer awareness and tools for life, we can’t simply restrict and take away. In many ways that simply encourages our children to do it anyway, but not get caught. However, it also means that building awareness takes some time. This isn’t a quick fix and it shouldn’t be. Its foundation building and therefore, a little time makes it a little stronger.)

1)      Play with contrasts.
 Start to draw attention to the emotional affects on each other of computers and games and even tv shows. Become the experiment. As a family, what happens if you only do screens after lunch or at certain times? What happens if you only go on AFTER you go for a walk and get some exercise... why does it feel better? What feels better? How does it affect how you feel and the general feel of the house? Also, if you’re struggling with television screen time, talk about the different feelings of different shows. What do fast and loud shows feel like, compared to slow ones? Look for differences in behaviour when your children are taking part in one form of entertainment and another. When you take part with the contrasting experiences your children aren’t feeling TOLD what to do or feel, but are observing it themselves and then can start to make conscious decisions on what works for each person. This is Screen/emotional education.
2)      Find alternatives.
When we don’t use it, we lose it. If we just tell our kids to get off of the screen, chances are they will be baffled at what to do instead. This isn’t 30 years ago, when childhood was filled with finding things to do. Our children live in a time when they are told what they can do. Chances are few of us still feel comfortable with our children taking off and not telling us where they are going. So, what do they fill their days with? What interests them, sparks them, excites them? What about hobbies and crafts and a huge stack of wood out the back that they can make whatever they want out of. Providing alternatives is providing opportunities... and what’s surprising is that, with those opportunities and alternatives, they rarely want to chose the screen instead. CREATIVE LIVING... is the name of the game.

3)      Be the example.
 It’s true. Each time we don’t know what to do with ourselves and we choose Facebook instead (my personal demon) of finding something creative ourselves... even just playing with our kids, or meditating under the stars, we are saying that life needs to be distracted from. Each time we say “just a minute” because we are surfing the net... we give the permission for our children to zone out on a screen. Ouch. But so true.

4)      Do a family challenge. No Screens (NONE!) for a week.
 Go camping, turn off the wifi, turn off the electricity, do whatever it takes. But just get away from it for one week. Stock up on books and board games... go on midnight walks and crazy times. Have fun. Let awareness build all by itself.

5)      Turn your attention to your children’s time OFF of screens. The truth is that the law of attraction works with everything and the more we notice what’s not working, the more we notice it... more and more and more. Same too though, the more you notice what is working... the cuddle up bedtimes when you talk together, the morning breakfast when everyone chats, or the walks with the dog when everyone gets exercise, the more those will happen, and the more you will notice. If you are totally focused on how much your family is in front of a screen, then no matter how much everyone tries to get off of them, you’ll never notice. The Law of attraction makes it so. So, start looking out for the moments of connection and play... you might be pleasantly surprised.

Monday, April 11, 2016

The Blame Game

Reconsider what you are saying when the sentence starts with the word “You”.
I told this to my children early on and hold it as a personal principle.
Why? Because, words hurt, but also the way we use those words, the tone and order we place them, conveys meaning and intention deeper than we can imagine. As a writer and energy sensitive person I feel words deeply and value how they make me and others feel... especially when it involves loved ones.
“You hurt me.” “You made a mess.” “You’re too loud.”
On an energy place these phrases feel so off, so targeted and separated.
The meaning can easily be expressed without the feeling of judgement.
“I got hurt.” “This is messy.” “Let’s be quiet.”
Ah... so much better.
And it can work with naming others as well.
This came up in a FB thread I was part of last week. A woman couldn’t understand her husband taking offense and feeling unsupported whenever he tried to deal with their son’s tantrums. He always did it in a way that rubbed the woman the wrong way and she would always tell her son, in front of the dad...
“I know Daddy upset you and hurt your feelings. He wants you to come to dinner. I know you want to play.” Ouch.
Pronouns can be used to build and support... or crush and demoralize, especially if we have hidden resentment or anger towards the other person. Their name, or the infamous YOU, can serve as a dagger, without any fingerprints.
“Imagine rephrasing it, so it didn’t paint anyone as the bad guy.” I wrote the woman. “Imagine saying... I know you want to keep playing, but we are having dinner now. I’m sorry if you got hurt feelings, we just need you to come to the table. We’ll play together after.”
No accusations, no mixed messages to their son, no guilt, judgement, or criticism. Maybe not as satisfying, but definitely more loving.
Just the “Royal We!” As someone commented. Yes, “we” resonates so much better.
But when we are used to the blame game how do we find the alternative? How do we shift from the place of accusation, when we feel it is simply taking the blame on ourselves?
We shout “why should I take on the blame when it’s not my fault?”
By simply choosing to radiate love instead and removing fault all together.
State the situation, say how you feel about something, but by removing the blame, you keep mistakes, simply that; mistakes, missteps, learning experiences.
Imagine when you were little and you were doing something you probably shouldn’t be and suddenly you break a family heirloom... or a vase from the dollar store, whichever. You feel badly enough, and silently decide you should have been more careful. You’ve helped clear it up, said sorry to your mom or dad, and learnt from the experience.
Then someone else asks about the vase and you hear... “(your name) broke it.”
You feel sick, guilty and un-forgiven. You will never live it down.
All it would have taken is “It got broken.”
Hearing that, you would still feel responsible, you would reconfirm your promise to take more care... but you wouldn’t carry the shame for life, just the lesson.
Also, imagine being the parent, and feeling the words pass through your lips. It simply feels better to let go of the blame, and stay general.
When we follow our hearts and joy we realize it’s better to feel happy than right. Pointing out who is doing what falls low on the feeling good list, just as the feeling we have to make our children feel small for them to be controlled. Simply altering a few simple words can make it about learning, or working together, vs control, blame and laying guilt.
“YOU”... or the accusing name blame game... replaced with a general situation explanation.
Is the difference between our children being raised with insecurities or self awareness.

Monday, April 4, 2016

What Spiritually Aware Parenting can look like.

As I was sitting at the park yesterday, watching all three of our children playing in their own style )I love how my 13 year old still plays wildly at the park, in her 5’10” height and her fashionista manners... she resonates with herself, willingly leaping on top of any swinging bridge or seesaw. She’s not worried about other people’s opinions, and it’s that gift that gives me some comfort in seeing her grow up so quickly) another scene caught my eye... my people watching skills couldn’t help but notice, an older gentleman and his, what must have been, his twin grandsons. He was with two other people, but his focus was on the boys... not on them, rather WITH Them... his focus was with them, and I watched in wonder as he logged off from everything else and simply enjoyed their play.
It reminded me of the downloadable guide, called “4 simple steps to pushing the Reset Button.”I have over on my website. Broken down in 4 easy steps, memorable by being in 4 “L” letter words... the steps take you from chaos to connection and help you find your inner compass again. Well, the first “L” step in my guide is to LOG OFF, and whereas it can literally  mean to log off, to get off of Facebook and Twitter and draw your focus into what’s in your moment, this man reminded me of the spiritual focus that can come from logging off from your outer world and logging in to your children’s.
The second “L” is to Let Go... again, it means what you will it to. Let go of results, let go of stress... breathe and allow.
The third “L” is Listen... to yourself, to your children.
And the Fourth is to Love.
This Gentleman, in the 5 minutes that I watched him, seemed to capture the essence of all 4 steps and it was a beautiful thing to see.
He came into the playground, and called to the boys to try out the seesaw, he wasn’t scattered in his thoughts, scanning his phone or even the other children, he simply talked to them about how the seesaw worked and how wonderful it was that they were the same size, so it would all balance out.
One of his friends came up, and rather than engaging in some “grown up” talk, they both started discussing with the boys how gravity worked on their bodies if they swayed to the centre or pulled away. They talked about not getting off too quickly, but to talk to the person on the other end so no one got hurt. The talk was focused, not scattered, no one rushed for words or stressed out when one boy almost got off from the top, and both men felt free to talk with each other... not just scatteredly to each other. Everyone was engaged and focused.
The children both learnt so much in their time there and the gentleman was so grounded in Who He Really Is. He wasn’t hesitant, but joyful. He didn’t question himself or others rather he was within himself in the moment and his focus, his moment was being spent with his two grandsons. Mind chatter and ponderings were being put on hold for another time.
We all get stressed sometimes. All of us. We all get scattered and chattered. We all get in knots.
But awareness of how we feel is a burst of fresh air to the soul. It reminds us of the power of the moment, where life resides.
When I first started giving people the 4 “L” points, they felt horrible when they forgot them somewhere in their downloads as if reading it through a couple of times was a magic solution to stress. Rather it’s an on going process absorbing the steps and imputing them into our daily habits. Sometimes it takes the image of an older gentleman, patiently enjoying his two grandsons, controlling his focus and giving attention to his moment and not questioning where his focus should be to remind ourselves what Spiritual Aware Living really looks like.
We all get stressed sometimes, I’m sure even the gentleman in the park has his moments, but it’s with the awareness of how that feels that we can find that logged off focus, when we can let it go, listen and love. It’s an ebb and flow kind of growth... and one that thrives better when it’s down with support and community.
I appreciate that gentleman, wherever he is, so much. For he radiated a grounded peace throughout the playground that day and reminded me the power of focus, logging off, listening and most of all Love.

If you want to download the guide to Push the Reset Button, you can find it here

Friday, March 25, 2016

Tips to find Focus and use its Power!

Wanna know one the most interesting thing about our children and ourselves now a-days?
We all have problems with focus.
We think we’ve got it down. That we can focus when we “put our mind to it.” But in truth, we’re continually flipping from one thing to another, and that’s where life gets incredibly scattered.
I like to compare it to tabs on an internet browser. We all do it. We all have our email tab open at the same time as our social media. We all come up with some idea of something to check up, so we surf a bit for a solution, at the same time waiting for a notification. We are a generation of distraction and we’re passing that on to our children.
Our children are scattered and then they are getting into trouble for not focusing.

So, what is focus, really? Is it simply the ability to put attention on something for a specific period of time? Is it the concentration on a project or the ability to stick to one job until it’s completed?
Currently, I have children doing schoolwork downstairs, I have some laundry that needs to be done, I just cleaned up the kitchen, but was thinking about this post while I was doing it... I’ve promised a son I’m taking him to the park in 20 minutes and I’m awaiting responses to some emails.
It feels a little pushed and pulled in my opinion.
Also, I just had to shift gears on a webinar I was planning and change it to a course, so somewhere in my subconscious I’m designing that, so all in all, I could be really stressed and scattered if I wasn’t aware of it.
I believe focus is more than just about zero-ing in on one thing at a time.
Focus is about intention... and intention is about aligned energy.
It’s the wish-washyness of indecisiveness that creates chaos. Once we line up to some intention, everything seems to flow within that direction.
Often guilt, or the super-mommy complex gets in the way and within that one poisonous thought of “when I focus on that, surely my children will just be aimless...” that we run around trying to “set them up”, before taking care of our own energy direction.
But then, you ask, how do we choose the direction if we’re so scattered we don’t know how to form priorities.

First step... meditate.
It doesn’t need to be a long sit down meditation. Rather its the simple concept of gathering your thoughts and energy to form a focused stream. Imagine your thoughts... each creating energy.. and you simply focus on the energy for a moment... letting it gather in front of you.
Create that ball of light and love in front of you, reminding yourself that there is nothing more important to that to radiate as yourself before you do anything else.
By that focus of feeling grounded in Who You Really Are... you then allow inspiration and other universal powers to help you lay out your intentions.
So... first breathe. Breathe in for the count of 5... hold for the count of 5... and exhale for the count of 5.
Repeat 5 times.
Now, you might find you’ve forgotten what was so scattered and the day feels clearer.

Next... very pragmatically, I usually write a brief list.

No specific order... just what would feel nice to have accomplished in the day... and then I put it in an easy order to let it flow through.
But... let’s face it... we have children and sometimes plans are made to be broken. Sometimes, sandtables need to be played with, or we need to jump on a trampoline.. sometimes we need to break all order to have some fun.

Next remind yourself that that’s where life shows up... in between plans.

and in that aligned energy of your day... allow things to show up. When you've started with meditation, than you can sense the energy of what's flowing in. You can line up to taking a break from your list. You can show up with your children at the park, rather than letting the back thoughts in of "I should be doing something else..." So lining up to the moment is also a trick of focus.

I’m working on own focus, really. I’m working on my social media consumption and how to schedule it rather than be absorbed by it. When we were travelling on the road I had no access (I won’t allow myself a smart phone), and I know I became more present. But I also felt out of touch with my clients and work, which didn’t suit me at all. So, I’m researching and feeling my way.
Because I don’t like my thoughts to be tabs in my own brain’s server. Rather, I want them to be directed streams of energy... full of joy and emotion and feeling... full of power which can be picked up on from the universal source that can bring in more of the same.
Life is exciting when we allow it to be and a scattered brain, leads to nothing. It’s full of deadends and the attraction point is simply chaos.

Vibrational Focus!
Want a focus exercise?
 Find an overall vibrational focus... an image of something that feels wonderful. Be it the feeling of being on a family bike ride, or being by the beach... something that resonates with freedom and order and fun and laughter. Something that resonates with your dream day.
Rest your tongue against your teeth, at the bottom of your mouth and simply allow the feeling of the thought flow over you. Stay there for a few moments.
When you are doing this short exercise, you are actually training your focus to reach a vibrational goal. You are feeling something strongly and holding it.. allowing it to build and show up in your day.
If we can teach ourselves to do this first thing in the morning we are simply making a suggestion to the universal source about what we want to feel more of... and then we can let the day flow in accordingly.
So, I’d like to hear what your favorite feeling space is? What’s an image that calls it up?
And if you focus on it... does your day flow in with that same feeling? Easily unfolding in joy?
And if you want to pop over to the FB Group or Page to share your intentions and focuses... it’s a great way to explore how they feel and to share with others.

Because together, we can help create a stronger focus and radiate Who We Really Are.

Friday, March 11, 2016

A Lesson in Energy for Quick Relief

One of the tools I find the most helpful in finding quick connection I found through learning Energy healing a few years ago. In fact, my daughters took the course with me as well, and I’ve witnessed how they interweave the teachings through their lives. The idea of grounding themselves, or observing their own energy blocks has been an incredible tool for self awareness.
But, I digress. The information and practice of increasing flow of energy is something I often pass on to clients and they’ve often mentioned how much it has helped them through their days.
So, I wanted to share it with all of you today.
We are energy beings. If you’ve heard of chakras then you know we have energy points through our bodies which, when aligned and with a clear path keep us as perfect conduits between the earth and spirit. We are spiritual, physical and emotional expressed through energy.
Its often taught that we can align our energy from our core root chakra, near the base of our spine and then focus upwards, clearing each chakra or energy point along the way.
However, I usually offer this...
As a society we spend so much time in our heads. Over the past 15 years we have become about information over physical expression. As the saying goes, “where attention goes, energy flows...”
So, in that case, our energy is stored in our heads, resulting in overstress, headaches, brain chatter and over thinking.
You know that snowballing feeling, when things build and build, thought upon thought? It starts with a little seed of something and then suddenly you feel like the world is falling upon your shoulders. Well, its a clear sign that energy needs to flow elsewhere.
But the ironic part of that is when you are in your thoughts you resist not thinking, or focusing on something else. Rather, the snowball continues, asking you to figure out “what should I think about to stop all this thinking?”
And I reply.... “focus on your feet.”
Sounds silly, I know. But, by shifting your attention to your feet, wiggling your toes, circling your ankles, soaking them in a tub or simply thinking about the feeling of the floor beneath them, you are drawing attention away from your head and allowing your energy to move down to the earth... through your central core. You are officially grounding yourself.
Imagine how this feels when you are running around, stressed out, juggling schedules lunches, phone calls and children’s shouts for help.
Breathe, relax, FEET. Sigh.
It really does work.
For those who have worked with me or been on my page for awhile, you might have heard me talk about the elevator meditation, which is a technique to bring your attention down to your ground level. To watch a video showing how to use it over at my channel.
The simple process of guiding your consciousness from your top floor, floor ten, around your head, and counting backwards, imagining an inner elevator shaft through your centre, helps you become aware of where your energy is.
You can feel your attention shift to floor 6 around your heart.
And then move down to 4 around your navel.
But then you get distracted and you think about something you have to do... back to floor 10.
Finally you find your moment in the present. Floor 1. Ground floor. Relax.
The more you practice this short meditation, the easier you find where you are on your core shaft , the more you sense your essence and how grounded you are. You can literally find what floor you are at within moments.
As energy beings we create through focus. Things go well when we are aligned with Who We Really Are and when we are grounded in the present moment, so the first key to being true to ourselves and being a spiritually aware parent is to find that inner sense of energy, and help it flow.

I love passing these sort of quick centering techniques onto clients.
 If you haven’t yet, please visit my website for more information and quick techniques to feeling better!

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Road trip lessons on being true to yourself

My family and I hit the road in our Dodge Caravan just before Christmas. We’d been promising our children and ourselves some travel and adventure, and it fell into the perfect time. It was one of those “go for it” moments, and luckily, as people who work online, we were able to jump at it.
What I love about traveling is how we are all together, in close proximity. Really close. Even our dog from his crate is readily involved.
2015 was a busy year. Between coaching, launching e-coaching packages and new groups, planning workshops and webinars and not counting home schooling, renovating and parenting new born kittens, it seemed like life was running full steam ahead. But, when we get into the car for a roadtrip, my whole family seems to land full on, in the moment. We sit, we talk, we sing, we think and ponder. It’s just meandering and I think it allows all of us to grow and get to know ourselves better.
Ironically, on this road trip, we’ve been sporadically staying with family and that adds such a different element to getting to know oneself. It sometimes feels like its seeing ourselves in a periscope... and I don’t mean the app.
Last summer, my husband and I both experimented with offering our work through video. We practiced being in front of the camera, and observed how we got new self awareness by simply watching ourselves. I got to know my facial expressions, my nervous ticks, but also my signs of feeling comfortable and how I sounded when I was confident in my favorite topics.
But when we stay with family whom we haven’t seen since we were younger, and then they meet our children, whom they barely know (but who look remarkably like we did when we were younger) then a few things get observed... and it can throw an interesting turn.
You know that feeling, the old school reunion feeling, when you wonder why the moment you see people who used to know you, you start acting in the same way that you used to. Suddenly, you act like the school clown, or the stylish fashionista. Suddenly, people are making assumptions and comments based on their old ideas of who you presented yourself to be. What’s funny, is that usually, when we were younger, we rarely presenting ourselves as who we really were!
Well, being with family is similar. Old habits, thought processes and reactions get stirred up. People expect you to present yourself as something you haven’t been in years, and somewhere in that, you rise to the expectation, and only show them that side they expect.
SO, first reaction, is to fight against it. We crave to show the new and improved version, we hunt out moments to show up as ourselves and to state new perspectives. But, because we’re trying too hard, it usually lands with a flop. The look crosses over a relatives’ faces... “there she goes again. She always was dramatic.” You hear their thoughts say.
But, we crave understanding right? We want to yell it from the rooftops... “Stop and get to know the real me!”... but, the more we push, the less authentic we feel. Push and pulling, we disconnect from the very core being of ourselves we’re so eager for everyone to meet.
So, in the long run, it’s finally a question of giving up. With a little meditation, a lot of breathing, and some skyward glances, we simply let everyone thing what they want, what they believe.
It’s more important to be happy than right anyway.
And yet, in that split second of release, that very moment when we decide to not care what people think and just be ourselves, we stop pushing against it, and allow ourselves to show up again, in all glory. We feel like ourselves again and, when we forget to notice, it radiates out from us. We are one again, in who we really are.
And through those eyes, we realize something. In all our concerns and self consciousness, those people who’s mind we were trying to change... were doing the same thing with us all along and we were doing the same to them.
Yes, I admit it. I sometimes remember people’s past when being in their present. I sometimes think of them as who they were, without allowing their new selves to shine through.
We are all on a journey of expansive growth. We live, learn, grow, explore and expand. Versions of ourselves come and go with new perspectives and it is a glorious ride. It’s not about proving where we are on the ride to anyone... there’s not a measuring stick or scale that we’re being held against. We know who we are, when we allow our thoughts to become quiet enough to hear it and when we allow it to flow from us, than we radiate it out for all the world to feel.
We have to trust our own journey, and know that other’s are on their own.
Their own journey... from a parent’s perspective that also means our children’s journey as well.
There’s the third step in all of this, the next generation. I can look at my daughters and assume they like the same thing they did two year ago, I can assume my son wants me to put him to sleep, rather than allow him that choice. We can keep anyone, including our children, imprisoned in the concepts we hold for them, based on the past or our perspective.

Or we can free ourselves of any concept of another, allowing them to show up as themselves this moment... and giving ourselves permission to do the same.