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Sunday, June 19, 2016

Mindfulness and Running on Empty

You want to know something really funny.
As someone who will be talking about mindfulness in parenting in the upcoming Get Happy Project (Which you should definitely sign up for!) ... as someone who coaches parents about mindful parenting and someone who writes, eats, sleeps, and parents... with mindfulness as a foundational philosophy....
I’ve rarely written about it on this blog. Sigh.
Life can be funny sometimes.
So, let’s talk about it here and now. What is mindfulness or does it go deeper than that?
There are so many ways I feel can describe a mindful living... or an aware living.
Living in awareness to Who We Really Are, allows us to bump our mindful practices up in the list of priorities. Being aware of who we are, is like knowing that there is this phenomenal room, a place of quiet, peace and a sense of everything we are, that when we enter it we know we will be refueled and refreshed.
It could also be described as the inner gas station.
If you are aware that there’s as gas station down the street, and you start to run out of petrol... you won’t hesitate in fueling up.
Self awareness, mindfulness is the process of filling up your tank or of retreating to your inner room so you can continue through your day as your truest self. It helps create patience, clarity, relief and joy.
But it also creates the space where you can feel the stress, acknowledge the tension and sense of overwhelment, and shift it around. Spiritual awareness and mindfulness don’t automatically create a happier existence rather it puts you back in the driver’s seat capable of putting focus on feeling better and finding calm, happiness and perspective.
So, what are some techniques for mindfulness? Well, first of all, finding the sense of awareness.
Awareness begins by simply observing yourself and learning who you are. What triggers your stress, what jumps you into appreciation, who are you when your eyes are closed and life quiets for a moment...
Meditation is about setting the stage for that observation.
Life is hectic, and fast and throw children and chores on top of it all and our heads can go, we spin out of control as we attempt to listen to everyone, play, organize, drive, and keep things flowing. We feel energies deplete and focus scatter... if we are aware enough to know how it feels.
Three simple steps to get started are;
Close your eyes.
 Breathe Deeply. 
Let the energy fall from your tense head, down through your body to your feet.
Repeat.
You become yourself... fully you. Mindful of you. Drawing yourself into the moment and becoming present.
And now, you can continue through the day. Simply by stopping like this, you are telling your true self “I know you are there. What would you do?” You are acknowledging your own mindfulness.
Mindful practice ranges in so many ways; from this sort of observation, to watching a sunset... or a sunrise, to a sitting meditation for a few moments, to a walking meditation, to dancing or singing, or shifting focus to a garden, music, or coloring... anything that achieves a space where you can be yourself and retreat to the inner room within your spiritual self. It is the key to your inner room, and from there, life flows more, solutions click into place and we perceive our children’s own inner workings with so much more clarity.
There is a golden moment when we drop into a space of ourselves. When we connect to our deeper source, our sense of divine and understand it to be a truer sense of ourselves and when that truer sense is driving the car of our family, we know we are all in safer hands and will go further...
Than if we hadn’t stopped to fuel up.
It’s not about having time or not. It’s not about bothering. Rather it’s about forming a habit like eating healthier to give your body energy, you are doing a spirit check to give your soul energy.
This is the foundational belief of mindful parenting... and Spiritual Aware Parenting.
And yes, sometimes we forget to fuel up. Sometimes we get stressed and run out of gas somewhere between overwhelmed and flipping out.
But if we’ve practiced the awareness of how we like to feel and how it feels to be Who We Really Are... we remember...

And we call ourselves back to ourselves, one breath at a time.

By the way... The Get Happy Project is going to be an incredible online summit, with guests specializing in a range of self care techniques and trainings. Definitely sign up and I'll see you there! :) 

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Taking Care of Your Story

 Everyone... yes, everyone... will occasionally find life challenging and yes, that includes our children who have a hard time, through new experiences, growing pains, learning curves, lost toys, scrapped knees or  friends.
Sometimes, we can find ourselves overwhelmed, juggling too many balls in the air to count and wondering how to keep things afloat.
And sometimes, we all feel a good vent is a great and healthy thing.
Of course.
And it is. It really is. It’s good to put all the ducks in a row and really get through the cloud of what’s bothering us and state it loud and clear.
Name it well.
But the next step is often forgotten, because once the issue that’s troubling us is out in the open, two things happen.
First, it can easily become our story for ourselves. We’ve told it once, and now it keeps happening, and we see evidence that backs it up all over the place. We’ve complained that no one ever picks up after themselves... next morning, there are toys all over the living room... In becoming part of our story it is part of the fabric of our lives... the law of attraction takes hold, bringing in more of the feeling we carry, the focus we hold. unless we choose not to let it.
Second of all, it becomes our story for other people.
How often have we vented everything out to a friend or family member and then next week, when we’ve adjusted and felt better, they notice something in our experience...
“Oh yeah, they are messy, aren’t they? Just look at the mess.”
A lovely story reminder... our perspective has shifted and suddenly we see the mess again.
Or, when life is especially full of balls to juggle, subtle comments like..
“I don’t know how you do it?” can make us question ourselves.
“hmmm. I don’t know how I do it either.”
Comments which may come from a place of support actually ring out as something much different. The focus becomes about how well we deal in struggle... but the struggle is what is the basic theme.
It also happens with our children. When they feel unpopular at school, or feel like they can’t do well at something. When they lose things or go through a hard time. We can see their upset as their story and alter things to “support” them, only to hold them in a place of that painful moment. We want to validate how they feel, but in the meantime, can hold them in the space of that feeling, rather than helping them shift to something new.
There was an Abraham Hicks Quote about this on their facebook page today it read;
“The greatest gift you could give to anyone you love, is the gift of positive expectation.”
Imagine, if every complaint or vent, was a stop sign, a reset button. A sign that said;
This is how it’s been and because of that, I know another story.”
And the new story was what was supported and nurtured.
What if we had the capacity of holding space for others to the point of seeing what they have created from what they have experienced?
What if every messy house conversation bounced off to a place of appreciating and supporting each attempt at keeping clean? What if every one of our children’s disappointments bounced off to a place of looking for opportunities of wellbeing flowing in?
And what if each problem created a support system for the seeking of a solution.
We don’t want to push positive to the point of denial... pushing a happy face on our children to the point of burying their pain. That’s not going to create any happy journeys. Rather, the razor edge path is about gradually shifting from a place of upset, banging the drum of disappointment, and when it feels like it’s just hit that point of enough... shift to solution based, trust in wellbeing, gradually moving towards feeling good vibration. I call my process the At Least Game.
It’s not that difficult and I want to quickly offer a focus point to do it with your children. You might have heard me mention it before, but it’s a good reminder.
Simply start 5 sentences with the words At Least.
Try it. You can’t help but feel a shift in feeling space. The tension feels less tense. The juggling seems less overwhelming. Even the mess seems less messy (at least my room is clean. At least no one did any baking. At least I have a vaccum, at least I can play awesome music through the house. At least I have a family to make that mess.)
And, what a way to hold space for other people too; for friends, neighbors, anyone who is upset... for our children.

Take care of your story, which is created by the story you tell yourself. Every story has struggle, but only for character development. The stories are only happy when focused on the solution.

Monday, June 6, 2016

Life Flows On

If you look back over your life, do you find that different times and memories stand out and bring up a certain feeling space? I know I do. The other day, I was eating a Sara Lee chocolate pound cake and mentioned how I was eating one 25 years ago when a small earthquake hit our home in Quebec.

Why do you remember that, Christina? I was asked.

Because, I’m sent back to the time, the space, the energy in the room and, like watching a movie, I observe each detail. I can call it back through the essence.

Does it ever strike you that we are continually adding stories to the vibration soup pot of our lives, each one a different vibration, a different feeling space, a different period of our lives.
And then, you imagine the endless stream of stories, the merging from one story to the next. Often we resist letting go of one story, forgetting that it’s not an end, but a beginning of another.
It can take a lot of courage to step over the threshold of a new period of time, but then again, usually we don’t notice until its passed, even if we’ve worried about it while it was approaching in the distance.

For a parent this occurs continually. Our children grow and we watch as they pass through “stages.” We tick the stages off as a to-do list, not realizing that we miss each era when it’s done. But we’re aware of a new era coming... we count the days, notch off the dates on an imaginary calendar... baby (check) toddler (check) child.... teen...
But, we can forget to turn inward on this journey of time. When it comes to our personal journey, we turn stagnant, forgetting we too are moving forward.
We hold on, holding back change as life flows on. We play out the same patterns, repeat the same beliefs, tell ourselves the same stories about our spouses, children and parents to keep up the same experience. We resist things which get in the way of that which we practiced. But still, as life progresses, it still feels like different experiences when we look back. We still grow and expand.
We might as well flow with it. What worked when our children were younger will need tweaking as they get older, and routines change continually. It is only by being authentic in our moment, being present in the Now that we can sense the subtle changes needed. We can spend so much time propelling ourselves into the future, wondering how we’ll make it work later, but because we’re dealing from the vibrational point of now... not then.... we only see it from this perspective.
The energy and feeling space will have changed by then. You can’t imagine how it will feel later, but you are creating the new now.
Woah! Wait. Was that a big statement?
We don’t know what the future will feel like, we aren’t there now. Our children aren’t teens, we aren’t grandparents, maybe your child isn’t even walking yet, but no matter how you fret and worry you will not know how things will feel later. You can imagine, you can pretend... but you only really know how things feel now.
Only in this moment.
And this one is only unfolding by your own perspective. You will look back at this moment and re-feel what your space feels like now, all over again.
And from this moment’s feeling, the new moment will be born. A natural product of what is now.
Our child’s growth is natural. How we view it is the journey. How we embrace each moment is what we remember.
We are continually making memories, continually painting the fabric of our lives and one thing stands as the anchor point. Our personal sense of Who We Really Are.
Look backward for a moment and feel yourself there. Are You present or are their times you felt like a shadow of yourself? I think we all have had times when we’ve filled a role rather than shown up as all ourselves and perhaps there’s no greater time than parenthood. Being a parent can sometimes feel like a role to play, but really, when we look back, it’s the times we showed up as ourselves that we remember.
And the moments that create the better feeling moments later are when we showed up in the best of intentions. It’s when we were brave in a crisis, or laughed in the rain. It’s when we forgave and allowed, rather than resented and stormed out. The moments that create the best future are the ones when we are the best versions of ourselves.
Today is a created memory. You might look back at this time in years to come and get a whisp of its essence, like a cool breeze. You will smell something or hear something that may trigger today as a memory. What feeling space will you call up? What will be the overall vibration and will you look back in fondness?

Create a happy tomorrow by creating joy today.


Worrying about the future is done with the head, living present is done with the heart.

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Between Plans you find Help

So here’s the thing.
I was writing a little post... um ok, a rather long post... on sensitive children and tapping into their deeper essence, while offering tools for awareness to them... and then my computer had an issue and needed to restart. Post was lost. Yeah, sometimes I’m bad at saving drafts.
So, when I restarted and realized the post was no where I was faced with two options. Go back and re-type, or chalk it up as Someone telling me, the piece wasn’t working.
The piece wasn’t working. The ideas were there, the words were not. It’s been a bit of a week, with a son having some teeth issues and life being a little on the weird side. The writing spirits weren’t flowing and I knew it as I tried to plow on.
When it crashed there was a sense of relief. Now I can write inspired from something right here, right now.
Bloggers will tell you to plan a bit ahead. But most parents know, life is what happens between plans and that’s just the way it should be.
So, today, let’s talk about if something ain’t working, try a different angle.
And if you can’t fix it, open up to a solution.
It might have been just a blogpost, but really lately I’ve been consciously aware of how openness to life creates new opportunities in every direction and resistance, or pushing on something, is more prevalent than we think, and in the openness more examples are presenting themselves.
But the more we focus, push, try and force something into existence, the more we are screaming to the universe “I NEED THIS NOW!” And we all know how hard it is to give something to a whiny child. For some reason, when a child whines, we want to do the opposite to what they want.
Well, the universe feels the same. In fact, because we are screaming we NEED this or that... that’s what the universe hears “NEED”. So that’s what the universe gives. We just keep on needing it.
So, when things aren’t working, our spirit gets all cramped up and tries to send up a little nudge with the feeling of tension or stress. “stop,” she whispers “this isn’t the way.”
As we push forward, oozing the work out of ourselves like toothpaste from the tube, spirit sighs, and whispers “I’ll wait over here. Where it feels good.”
When we turn our attention from what’s giving us that hassle, when we stop the forcing, searching, stressing, worrying or simply needing, and focus instead on Openness, Spirit jumps up and says... “Now we can flow.”
When we feel better and release, we can rely on “fairy help” as one FB group member called it. The universal powers jump in behind us and say, “we’ve got you covered.”
And because we’re not focused on Need... we’re focused on Openness, freedom and presence,
We have an open window for solutions to flow in.
So, where does this come in with parenting?
Everywhere.
From sleepless nights to breastfeeding issues. From children getting into trouble to a messy house. To children taking parents for granted or teenagers worrying us sick.
Truly, we push buttons of NEED all over the place. The minute we stop, the other penny drops and solutions become focused.
We just have to remember it at each overwhelming time, each stressful moment.
Pressure and stress are our spirit’s way of saying “I can’t go there.”
Ironically the hardest part is the letting go. We are programmed to want to fix things and the more we want or try, the less we can.
It’s in the space of letting go that in-spirit-ation strikes and we suddenly feel a pull to the right action.
We struggle, flapping against the water as we feel ourselves sinking, but in the moment of floating and a bit of space, we are lifted and carried to shore.
Or we find that we were drowning in about an inch of water and we can stand up with ease.

Fairy help, universal flow, angels, Source. We can be problem focused or solution allowing.

Monday, May 23, 2016

The 3 Sources of Guilt

So over the past few weeks we’ve been looking at guilt and how to listen to your own inner guidance webinar, but in truth I know how a scheduled event can cause stress and a replay can sit there for awhile, always as a “I should watch that.”
system. I presented the three sources of guilt to you in the
(ugh, and then that leads to feeling guilty for not watching something about feeling guilty! That really takes the cake.)
So, I wanted to share with you the basic points discussed on Saturday, just for quick reference.
Because that’s what guilt is about. It’s about reference. It’s about knowing the sources of the guilty feelings and then weighing it up to see if it resonates with your authentic self.
So, here are the three types of guilt we discussed the other day:

Socially Implied- the feeling of the raised eyebrow when your house is messy. The feeling of your mother’s eyes on you when let your child down from the table without finishing dinner, or the feeling of ickiness when your child is having a tantrum in public. Socially implied guilt comes from all sorts of directions and comes from when others, (friends, family or strangers) suggests we are doing it all wrong and we absorb it as truth. We feel guilty and are suddenly sneaking around breastfeeding or shuttering when our children don’t say excuse me that ONE TIME. We also find it when we assume others are thinking things about us, even if we know its true or not. When we feel people are thinking we are losing it or not doing a good job, when we allow those reflections to undermine ourselves.
Remedy- Reminding ourselves that everyone else has their own journey and that this is our own, frees ourselves to make our own mistakes and try out our own approaches. “Be yourself, everyone else is taken.” Times have changed and our parents approaches, or our grandparents’, were based on adifferent understanding of what a parent is. Therefore, why should they understand why we are trying something different. Children being seen and not heard still has a ghost like presence in the minds of so many and when children are taught to be the people they really are, it can scare others that they did it wrong. Trust in your own processes and know yourself. Trust in other people to have their own processes, life journeys and mistakes... even if they don’t get it from their perspective.

Personally Inflicted- Probably more deepseeded than Socially implied, personally inflicted guilt is generated within ourselves. We can have a concept of a “Parent’s” job and, because its thought through and not based on an authentic version of ourselves, it becomes full of “should’s” I should be able to work, play, discipline, cook, clean, mend, drive, schedule, sew, afford and love... and practice mindfulness, self care, meditation and yoga. When we miss a step on our imagined “should”, we feel guilt, which can then lead to a feeling of failure, unworthiness, and insecurity. It’s a spiral of guilt, which leads to us trying to do everything and doing nothing, and watering ourselves down in the process. We miss out on our authentic parenting experience, because we are too busy trying to be something impossible to be.
Remedy- Drop deep within yourself and allow yourself to be the person you came to be. Take a moment to release yourself from the prison you’ve created in your mind, observe your life experience rather than trying to control it. Who Are You and what’s authentic to you? When you allow yourself to show up as yourself you can feel your way to the best choices and decisions. Don’t like cooking... your child really won’t suffer if you can’t bake a cake, they just don’t like hunger. Don’t sew... then don’t. Can’t find time to meditate, realize that even focused play can be mind altering meditation, when you align in you moment and focus on fun. Be you, find you and radiate as You. And forgive yourself for those things that are someone else’s journey.

Spiritually Indicated
Not a guilt at all. Rather, it is the an indicator of our inner guidance system.
We are spiritual beings and our spirits are always there giving a heads up, directions and a general sense of GPS. When we start down a road that won’t lead to the right direction, we have a fellow driver that gives a nudge and says.. “not this way, turn around.”
Its not berating or mean, it will never undermine our intelligence or make us cry. Rather its simply a nudge in the right direction. It feels good when we acknowledge it.
Spiritually indicted “guilt”, is felt not thought. It builds us up, not knock us down. It supports Who we Really Are and doesn’t ask us to blend in.
It shows up when we’ve practiced being spiritually aware and built up our sense of where we’re heading.
In fact, it is the remedy... it doesn’t need one... because it’s not a negative feeling.
It comes from love.
During the webinar we also talked a bit about the law of attraction and how guilt can become an attraction point and about neural passage, with guilt becoming a habitual pattern.

So, now what?
Well, freeing yourself from guilt is truly about setting yourself free... no one can do it for you... but you can have support to start re-programming how you feel about your choices and making sure you are coming from your authentic self.
I’m trying to find the best way to support you on this journey and one way I’m offering is through a 4 week program for 8 participants. We’ll meet each Saturday and have a private FB group too, so we can really dig deep and change some negative chatter which feeds the guilt. It starts June 4th, just in time for Summer break and right now is only $77 USD for all 4 weeks. That’s less than $20 a session and you’ll be having 1;1 time in the sessions, discussing your specific scenario, within a supportive group of people feeling the same way.
I’m really hoping we can take our community to this next level. It’s going to be so liberating and exciting to work together.

For more information you can visit here. Registration takes place there as well or you can email me at Christina@spirituallyawareparenting.com with any questions.

Saturday, May 21, 2016

The Law of Attraction behind hosting a webinar

Sometimes resistance is... just a little bit of a pain in the neck.
As you may know, on Saturday I hosted my first webinar on google hangouts.
Now can I just say I used to consider myself quite good at technology. I’ve designed websites, I jumped on using the internet really quickly... hey I used to help edit home videos with double vcrs. I learnt quickly... until webinars.
For some reason, I’ve been trying to figure this out for awhile and getting nervous about it.
But someone told me, just jump in and the rest will follow so I jumped.The webinar went fine. It was a little like having a phone call with a toddler as I was trying to juggle managing the workings of the hangout which wasn’t co-operating at the same time as relaying information and talking through my points. Sadly, my Q& A component wasn’t working and that was incredibly frustrating... and yet so understandable.
Why? Because, even though I might be a coach in the law of attraction it doesn’t mean I don’t hold up the wrong sign occasionally. And quite honestly, I was nervous about the process, and the process gave me what I asked for.
It was a blip. The replay is readily available and technology is technology. No catastrophe, just a learning curve. But I had to laugh to myself at how resistance to something always plays a part in the results.
So, where else does this show up? What little things do we hold resistance to, that doesn’t necessarily provide such blatant proof?
Probably lots of things.
From getting enough sleep, to our children liking the food we make, to even feeling guilty. When we hold up a sign of something “going wrong”, although it might not go as hard as we expect it, it also won’t go as smoothly.
So, yeah, my webinar went well and the next one will be even better. And the next... and the next...
Life is a process; a delicious, learning full, incredible process and the idea that something has to be perfect the first time is one of the plagues of mommy guilt in the first place.
Because, unless you remember your past lives thoroughly, this is a first-time round. This is the first time you’ve been in the place you are. So claim it, ride it, and appreciate it.
Because around the corner is round number 2!
Want to check out my first webinar... here it is.

And I do have an exciting new project that I talk about in the last 5 minutes of the video!

Saturday, May 7, 2016

Mother Day Guilt

So, we’re talking about guilt!
I mentioned last week that there are 3 kinds of guilt and we’ll be looking at them deeper over the coming weeks, but I wanted to draw a little attention to one of them... the self guilt... because for many moms its Mother’s Day this weekend and well, guilt can always play into any celebratory day.
So, as a mom, we can often feel like we give and give, and leave nothing for ourselves, so when its a time to celebrate, well ourselves, we claim “My day! I want a break.”
But then, we feel guilty for actually asking for that.
And we feel guilty for wanting that in the first place.
And we feel guilty when we feel upset for people not offering it and we have to ask.
And we feel guilty for needing it... as if we aren’t up to being the mom we want to be.
And, well, I think you get the picture.
And so, as with everything in this guilt themed couple of months, I’m here to shout Stop... and give yourself the space to forgive and love yourself.
Whether its mother’s day where you are, or not, I want to send you this small message on the wind.
I want you to feel it caressing your soul, your heart, and providing you with relief.
“Lovely Woman. Breathe Deep. Today, look in the mirror and applaud yourself. You are doing wonderfully. You have brought children into the world and are offering them a platform of love and support. You are allowed to also be Yourself...because that is who you came to be... and that is who your children chose to come to. They didn’t chose a cleaner, cook, or playmate. They didn’t chose someone to teach them how to do right or even how to be themselves. They chose you for you.”
Now, from that space... celebrate being a mom. Without forced sleep-ins or presents. Without “should” or “shouldn’ts” It is the have-to’s that create guilt.
So, celebrate Yourself, by dropping into the space of who Yourself is. Who are you, as a mom and as a person? Take that moment to appreciate all you are.
Remember the law of attraction? Well, ironically, when you take the focus from the Shoulds of celebrations, and focus on feeling good, the rest of the day takes care of itself. One feeling good moment to another.

Now... still struggling with guilt? Don’t forget to sign up for the webinar “Free Yourself From Guilt” as we break down all three kinds of guilt and deal with them directly!