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Saturday, July 9, 2016

LOA in progress....

Everyone’s allowed to feel off sometimes... even our children.
Our son has had a number played on him lately. From a trip he was reluctant to take 8 months ago, to losing his pet cat, having 2 cavities, and getting the flu, he started a run of misery over the last few months.
His poor cousin who came to visit him.
Although every couple of young boys will have run ins, not often is rambunctious behaviour treated with such... well, dare I say, moaning that’s been happening.
I’ve been totally understanding and I think family members around me have been surprised by my nonchalant reactions to our boy’s shrugs, shrieks and mutterings. I wasn’t going to ask him for perfect behaviour... not right now. He turned 7 yesterday... he needs his growing space. It needed to be the right time, and the right place to say something.

We all do it sometimes, don’t we? Get into a rut of thinking and processing... carving out neural pathways of stories that don’t bring us joy?
I haven’t written a personal post for a long time, but what just happened seems to be something that should be shared with you all. It’s a reminder to me that this parenting business is about balance and timing. Also, a lot of you have asked about passing on the law of attraction to our children and this is one of those occasions that gives a great example.
Our son wiped out today as he tried to enjoy a carnival. He had a sore throat and was already dis-connected... and he decided to run down a ramp, falling and grazing his two knees.
He went on a few rides in the afternoon, then went back to lie down... with a definite focus on how horrible things were.
When his cousin came in to say goodnight, he refused a hug, and barely said goodnight.
That was the window I’d been looking for.
I reminded him of how if he showed love, he’d bring in love and if he wanted to feel better and change the direction of how things were going for him.. to go, say a proper goodnight to his cousin, give him a hug, then go have a proper snack and a nice bedtime to start a better day tomorrow.
I suggested his focus was spiraling and snowballing and although it was hard to feel good with sore throats and sore knees, it was what he needed to do... and the first step was to let love pour from his heart.
He asked if he could go out of the room alone and I heard him go and say goodnight to his cousin. I saw him come out, looking a million times lighter.
He knew he felt better. He knew that the cycle was broken. He knew he was love and when he expresses love... he could express himself.
I’m waiting to see how it plays out tomorrow and for the rest of his cousin’s visit.. but I wanted to share this story with you because it’s really important to remember...

We can’t force these sort of lessons... rather sometimes the offness  IS the process, the relief of coming back to Yourself is the Lesson.... no force necessary.
As parents we often feel that we have to teach... but sometimes its too soon. We feel that we have to control, but sometimes that stops the experience of the contrast to what works and what doesn’t, we also sometimes feel like we can’t trust the process, but we can.
We can only Allow the moment to arrive... the Aha moment when it all makes sense.... and then grab it following our own instincts rather than the outside view of it all.
If we miss one moment, don’t worry, another one will come and another. It’s like surfing the wave, waiting for the perfect, synchronized moment. The trick is to be tapped in to your own sense of self so you can recognize it.
What we pass on to our children, is often what we need to remember ourselves.

 We can panic and freak out that things aren’t going as planned, that we’re dropping the ball, not living our purpose, or not being a good parent but that too is like riding a wave or floating on the water. When we struggle we sink...

Relax, breathe, re-focus and allow.

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Lessons From Giving Birth

Tomorrow is our son’s 7th birthday.
Wow. 7 years.
7 years since I remembered Who I Really Am... 7 years since hearing that inner voice, reminding me that I was taking part in something so much deeper and wider than anything medical science considered.
7 years since communicating with the truest essence of our son, who I recognized as soon as he was born.
With the birth of our boy came the birth of my new insights in parenting. He has taught me so much and we have all benefited.
I can still hear his whispering to me before he arrived earthside, the encouraging me to trust the process, the communication with each kick when I would ask him if everything was alright. I can still see the full moon through the skylight as I was in labor. A symbol of magic, reminding me to let go of beliefs and fears, and rather allow our boy to come into the world safe and sound.
That image, that night, is still teaching me so much.
Before I had children I followed that full moon religiously. I trusted in the connection I had with the universe, I was committed fully to living a spiritual life while living a physical reality. But having children creates a paradox within ourselves, we want to give them the moon and back, we want to establish a foundation where spirit is everything... but the fear of physical reality is sometimes more real when you have three children in tow.
We can tie ourselves into knots trying to keep everyone balanced, safe and happy. We can struggle to find the perfect image of our perfect life.. we can labor and labor... but it’s in the final release, the let go and trust, where everything comes earthside.
This last week I have to admit, I buckled. We’d been on a roadtrip this winter and when we got back we’d found our house was rather in ruins, with wildlife having broken in, and our cats were gone having not liked being tended by a friend. We decided it should be sold and we should start something new, having fixed up the place too often already.  For 6 weeks I’ve been tending the hearts of my children and husband, hunting around for the best feeling perspectives, balancing positive aspects, but forgetting to look out for my own self care space. I was allowing others to grieve the home we’d lost, but not allowing myself to feel it as much as I really was.
Well, it caught up with me, as it always does if you can’t find that grounding space. We’re staying at my parents while we figure out next steps and quite honestly, I’ve been lost for vision.
But then... there’s always the moon.
I was reminded soon after my bottoming out, reminded from within, of labor pains which bring forth new life, of the guidance continually around us which empowers us to focus on what isn’t necessarily in any medical guide or website, which isn’t logically available to us but comes from deep within us
There is always pain before birth... or before re-birth.
Over the past few years I’ve been asking, requesting for some newness. I love my business and I want to take it further, enabling spiritually aware parenting for more people while expanding it within my own heart as well. I’ve also been requesting new outlooks and opportunities for our family; a lighter vibe.
Ask and You Shall Receive.
But I can’t have planted that seed and then expect it to grow within me without a breaking down of the old life. Re-birth is the same as birth...throughout life we grow and change, leaving one life to see things differently, to live a little differently, to expand and experience anew... the birthing process has contractions as does life as it literally stretches us in ways we never thought possible.
Seven Years ago I looked up at the moon preparing for the arrival of our boy. But now, I look up at it preparing for whatever new arrival, change or incredible experience is around the corner.
That night seven years ago is one of the proudest moments of my life... one where I choose trust and love rather than fear and hesitation. Those are things I still choose daily.
And there’s always a moon, or stars, or a sun... a breeze, a bird in the sky or the sweet whispers of my soul that tell me...
This is more than Me. I am a component, but trust is about remembering that we are never alone, we are always supported, always loved and always taken care of.
We may not know how things will turn out, but when we look back we can always say, yeah, it turned out just as it should of.
Tomorrow is our son’s seventh birthday and as I shake my head at how that time has past so quickly and try to grapple at all I’ve learnt, I also breathe a sigh of relief. Each stage passes so fluidly, he’s grown through so much turmoil but with so much joy. He fills my heart each day, just as both his sisters do. I want to feel more, love more, experience more, live more because of this incredible group of souls I am lucky to be mom to. I’m on this road, this incredible journey of love, laughter and adventure.

Stage by stage, re-birth by re-birth... trusting the process and living the love.

Monday, June 27, 2016

3 Steps to Trigger Mindfulness

Last week I was being interviewed on Katie Flores Get Happy Project and we were talking on the subject of mindfulness. An interesting point came up which I wanted to officially clear up here.
It’s not always easy... and once you get it.. you won’t always do it... and that’s alright.
As many of you know, I offer a free guide on my site, and here on this blog, called How to Push the Reset Button... it’s basically 4 (ok... spoilers... 5!) easy steps to find your connection in chaos.
It’s a simple process on paper. But not necessarily in practice. From a space of calm, logging off, letting go, listening, and loving.. it all sounds logical and natural.
However, throw yourself in the middle of a 2 year old tantrum when you are running late already.
It’s a bit like telling someone swimming is a breeze in the middle of a storm.
Our natural state is to be balanced, grounded and spiritually aware. But tempers rise when we are feeling unlike ourselves... when we are in an un-natural feeling space... so although the process of pushing the reset button is there to provide steps to get you back to yourself... You have to find the reminder to use them in the first place.
Imagine a gap between you as your greater version of you; The bigger than this body you.
And the physical experience as You.
The physical experience has the temper, the reactions, the “I’m going to panic” “I’m overwhelmed” “Can’t stop from flipping” experiences (as well as the good stuff... don’t forget the good stuff)
In a positive experience, positive emotion, the gap between the dual versions of you is really small, you experience the joy together.... as positive spirit, the greater version of you is happy to be by your side.
But then a stressful experience occurs... or your thoughts start chattering with a negative focus.
Spirit says... sorry... no can do. I can’t go there with you.
And the gap widens.
The trick is to remember the gap. (Mind the Gap... gives trips on the London Tube a very different meaning!)
For when you find yourself surrounded in chaos, and you remember the gap, that’s when you can find your way back to the fuller YOU, you push the reset button, you find new focus, you go to your inner room and you laugh. Does that make sense?
But how to remember the gap????
Here’s my top 3 big Flashing Red Lights you can put in place.
1)      A physical representation of yourself... something that every time you see or hear, or touch you feel connected to your fullest version of yourself. A piece of jewelry, a crystal in your pocket, a token from your children or from a spiritual journey... anything that upon sight you remember yourself and within that... remember the gap. I once knew someone who actually made a picture of what made her feel awesome and put it as the lock screen on her phone... Depending how much you use your cell... that’s awesome!

2)      The sky. Looking upward immediately reminds us to connect to something so much larger than our own experience... and in that larger universe we find the larger version of ourselves. Mountains, fields, trees can do the same. I have my moon. She has been kind and kept me connected even through my son’s birth.


3)      A mantra, or affirmational phrase... or tune. Om... humming... or something like “I am more than this experience” or “within me lies my own happiness and light.” When repeated often, or trained to be a regular focus, this can become a habitual state of being... so habitual, that when we disconnect, and get stressed, we can feel the shift more strongly, and then consciously guide ourselves back.

It may be a logical statement to ask how these reminders can remind us to connect, if we have to remember to do the reminders! But the thing is that these simple steps can easily be worked into life, even when you  are feeling wonderfully, exhilaratingly like yourself. When you find the little tokens of motions that symbolize you as everything you are, it feels amazing to practice them, sing them, play with them, focus on them. It raises life up to the point that when you aren’t in the space of doing them, you feel disconnection so intensely and that’s that little reset button push.
Awareness to how you feel is truly where it’s all at.. and the feeling of being mindful to Who You Really Are... ohhh... it’s a blissful state of infinite possibilities.

If you haven’t gotten your free copy of the guide, you can find it over here.

Authentic Parenting Power

So, three years ago, I was in touch with the amazing Sandi Schwartz and I said I would love to read her book, so I could review it and place it as a resource here on this blog.
Three years... one resounding forehead slap. In the meantime, I have carried this book with me, I’ve recommended this book to many and quite honestly, each time I look at it, I remind myself to stop having life so busy if it means I can’t review books that are so incredible that they should be in every parent’s library.
Well, fast forward three years and sigh ... it’s about time.
In her book Authentic Parenting Power, co-authored by her daughter Melissa, Sandi offers a guide and toolbox for parents to reclaim Who They are and understand their children with a deeper comprehension of their motivation and personality types, ridding ourselves of judgement of them or ourselves for how they function and react to the world around them.
Sandi Schwartz boasts an incredible resume in education and parenting, therefore this book is brimming with everything from inspiring nuggets, case studies, practical advice, and pointers that can really shift the reader’s perspective to an Ah-Ha moment perspective.
We live in a time when parents are struggling to find the parenting model that “works” for them... begging for some rule book to live by. Well, Sandi finds the perfect balance in reminding us that it’s our own inner journey that dictates our own goals and tools... our own true authentic parenting power... but also offers a roadmap to embark on the quest... of finding ourselves as parents and as people as well as finding our children at their loving core.
Love is the compass used and with artful skill and beautiful compassion, Sandi and Melissa have done a beautiful job to open a gateway to the new conscious parenting paradigm.

This book is a definite recommendation to anyone who wants a more loving, understanding and fulfilling parenting experience with their family.

Authentic Parenting Power is available from Amazon and through http://leadingedgeparenting.com/

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Mindfulness and Running on Empty

You want to know something really funny.
As someone who will be talking about mindfulness in parenting in the upcoming Get Happy Project (Which you should definitely sign up for!) ... as someone who coaches parents about mindful parenting and someone who writes, eats, sleeps, and parents... with mindfulness as a foundational philosophy....
I’ve rarely written about it on this blog. Sigh.
Life can be funny sometimes.
So, let’s talk about it here and now. What is mindfulness or does it go deeper than that?
There are so many ways I feel can describe a mindful living... or an aware living.
Living in awareness to Who We Really Are, allows us to bump our mindful practices up in the list of priorities. Being aware of who we are, is like knowing that there is this phenomenal room, a place of quiet, peace and a sense of everything we are, that when we enter it we know we will be refueled and refreshed.
It could also be described as the inner gas station.
If you are aware that there’s as gas station down the street, and you start to run out of petrol... you won’t hesitate in fueling up.
Self awareness, mindfulness is the process of filling up your tank or of retreating to your inner room so you can continue through your day as your truest self. It helps create patience, clarity, relief and joy.
But it also creates the space where you can feel the stress, acknowledge the tension and sense of overwhelment, and shift it around. Spiritual awareness and mindfulness don’t automatically create a happier existence rather it puts you back in the driver’s seat capable of putting focus on feeling better and finding calm, happiness and perspective.
So, what are some techniques for mindfulness? Well, first of all, finding the sense of awareness.
Awareness begins by simply observing yourself and learning who you are. What triggers your stress, what jumps you into appreciation, who are you when your eyes are closed and life quiets for a moment...
Meditation is about setting the stage for that observation.
Life is hectic, and fast and throw children and chores on top of it all and our heads can go, we spin out of control as we attempt to listen to everyone, play, organize, drive, and keep things flowing. We feel energies deplete and focus scatter... if we are aware enough to know how it feels.
Three simple steps to get started are;
Close your eyes.
 Breathe Deeply. 
Let the energy fall from your tense head, down through your body to your feet.
Repeat.
You become yourself... fully you. Mindful of you. Drawing yourself into the moment and becoming present.
And now, you can continue through the day. Simply by stopping like this, you are telling your true self “I know you are there. What would you do?” You are acknowledging your own mindfulness.
Mindful practice ranges in so many ways; from this sort of observation, to watching a sunset... or a sunrise, to a sitting meditation for a few moments, to a walking meditation, to dancing or singing, or shifting focus to a garden, music, or coloring... anything that achieves a space where you can be yourself and retreat to the inner room within your spiritual self. It is the key to your inner room, and from there, life flows more, solutions click into place and we perceive our children’s own inner workings with so much more clarity.
There is a golden moment when we drop into a space of ourselves. When we connect to our deeper source, our sense of divine and understand it to be a truer sense of ourselves and when that truer sense is driving the car of our family, we know we are all in safer hands and will go further...
Than if we hadn’t stopped to fuel up.
It’s not about having time or not. It’s not about bothering. Rather it’s about forming a habit like eating healthier to give your body energy, you are doing a spirit check to give your soul energy.
This is the foundational belief of mindful parenting... and Spiritual Aware Parenting.
And yes, sometimes we forget to fuel up. Sometimes we get stressed and run out of gas somewhere between overwhelmed and flipping out.
But if we’ve practiced the awareness of how we like to feel and how it feels to be Who We Really Are... we remember...

And we call ourselves back to ourselves, one breath at a time.

By the way... The Get Happy Project is going to be an incredible online summit, with guests specializing in a range of self care techniques and trainings. Definitely sign up and I'll see you there! :) 

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Taking Care of Your Story

 Everyone... yes, everyone... will occasionally find life challenging and yes, that includes our children who have a hard time, through new experiences, growing pains, learning curves, lost toys, scrapped knees or  friends.
Sometimes, we can find ourselves overwhelmed, juggling too many balls in the air to count and wondering how to keep things afloat.
And sometimes, we all feel a good vent is a great and healthy thing.
Of course.
And it is. It really is. It’s good to put all the ducks in a row and really get through the cloud of what’s bothering us and state it loud and clear.
Name it well.
But the next step is often forgotten, because once the issue that’s troubling us is out in the open, two things happen.
First, it can easily become our story for ourselves. We’ve told it once, and now it keeps happening, and we see evidence that backs it up all over the place. We’ve complained that no one ever picks up after themselves... next morning, there are toys all over the living room... In becoming part of our story it is part of the fabric of our lives... the law of attraction takes hold, bringing in more of the feeling we carry, the focus we hold. unless we choose not to let it.
Second of all, it becomes our story for other people.
How often have we vented everything out to a friend or family member and then next week, when we’ve adjusted and felt better, they notice something in our experience...
“Oh yeah, they are messy, aren’t they? Just look at the mess.”
A lovely story reminder... our perspective has shifted and suddenly we see the mess again.
Or, when life is especially full of balls to juggle, subtle comments like..
“I don’t know how you do it?” can make us question ourselves.
“hmmm. I don’t know how I do it either.”
Comments which may come from a place of support actually ring out as something much different. The focus becomes about how well we deal in struggle... but the struggle is what is the basic theme.
It also happens with our children. When they feel unpopular at school, or feel like they can’t do well at something. When they lose things or go through a hard time. We can see their upset as their story and alter things to “support” them, only to hold them in a place of that painful moment. We want to validate how they feel, but in the meantime, can hold them in the space of that feeling, rather than helping them shift to something new.
There was an Abraham Hicks Quote about this on their facebook page today it read;
“The greatest gift you could give to anyone you love, is the gift of positive expectation.”
Imagine, if every complaint or vent, was a stop sign, a reset button. A sign that said;
This is how it’s been and because of that, I know another story.”
And the new story was what was supported and nurtured.
What if we had the capacity of holding space for others to the point of seeing what they have created from what they have experienced?
What if every messy house conversation bounced off to a place of appreciating and supporting each attempt at keeping clean? What if every one of our children’s disappointments bounced off to a place of looking for opportunities of wellbeing flowing in?
And what if each problem created a support system for the seeking of a solution.
We don’t want to push positive to the point of denial... pushing a happy face on our children to the point of burying their pain. That’s not going to create any happy journeys. Rather, the razor edge path is about gradually shifting from a place of upset, banging the drum of disappointment, and when it feels like it’s just hit that point of enough... shift to solution based, trust in wellbeing, gradually moving towards feeling good vibration. I call my process the At Least Game.
It’s not that difficult and I want to quickly offer a focus point to do it with your children. You might have heard me mention it before, but it’s a good reminder.
Simply start 5 sentences with the words At Least.
Try it. You can’t help but feel a shift in feeling space. The tension feels less tense. The juggling seems less overwhelming. Even the mess seems less messy (at least my room is clean. At least no one did any baking. At least I have a vaccum, at least I can play awesome music through the house. At least I have a family to make that mess.)
And, what a way to hold space for other people too; for friends, neighbors, anyone who is upset... for our children.

Take care of your story, which is created by the story you tell yourself. Every story has struggle, but only for character development. The stories are only happy when focused on the solution.

Monday, June 6, 2016

Life Flows On

If you look back over your life, do you find that different times and memories stand out and bring up a certain feeling space? I know I do. The other day, I was eating a Sara Lee chocolate pound cake and mentioned how I was eating one 25 years ago when a small earthquake hit our home in Quebec.

Why do you remember that, Christina? I was asked.

Because, I’m sent back to the time, the space, the energy in the room and, like watching a movie, I observe each detail. I can call it back through the essence.

Does it ever strike you that we are continually adding stories to the vibration soup pot of our lives, each one a different vibration, a different feeling space, a different period of our lives.
And then, you imagine the endless stream of stories, the merging from one story to the next. Often we resist letting go of one story, forgetting that it’s not an end, but a beginning of another.
It can take a lot of courage to step over the threshold of a new period of time, but then again, usually we don’t notice until its passed, even if we’ve worried about it while it was approaching in the distance.

For a parent this occurs continually. Our children grow and we watch as they pass through “stages.” We tick the stages off as a to-do list, not realizing that we miss each era when it’s done. But we’re aware of a new era coming... we count the days, notch off the dates on an imaginary calendar... baby (check) toddler (check) child.... teen...
But, we can forget to turn inward on this journey of time. When it comes to our personal journey, we turn stagnant, forgetting we too are moving forward.
We hold on, holding back change as life flows on. We play out the same patterns, repeat the same beliefs, tell ourselves the same stories about our spouses, children and parents to keep up the same experience. We resist things which get in the way of that which we practiced. But still, as life progresses, it still feels like different experiences when we look back. We still grow and expand.
We might as well flow with it. What worked when our children were younger will need tweaking as they get older, and routines change continually. It is only by being authentic in our moment, being present in the Now that we can sense the subtle changes needed. We can spend so much time propelling ourselves into the future, wondering how we’ll make it work later, but because we’re dealing from the vibrational point of now... not then.... we only see it from this perspective.
The energy and feeling space will have changed by then. You can’t imagine how it will feel later, but you are creating the new now.
Woah! Wait. Was that a big statement?
We don’t know what the future will feel like, we aren’t there now. Our children aren’t teens, we aren’t grandparents, maybe your child isn’t even walking yet, but no matter how you fret and worry you will not know how things will feel later. You can imagine, you can pretend... but you only really know how things feel now.
Only in this moment.
And this one is only unfolding by your own perspective. You will look back at this moment and re-feel what your space feels like now, all over again.
And from this moment’s feeling, the new moment will be born. A natural product of what is now.
Our child’s growth is natural. How we view it is the journey. How we embrace each moment is what we remember.
We are continually making memories, continually painting the fabric of our lives and one thing stands as the anchor point. Our personal sense of Who We Really Are.
Look backward for a moment and feel yourself there. Are You present or are their times you felt like a shadow of yourself? I think we all have had times when we’ve filled a role rather than shown up as all ourselves and perhaps there’s no greater time than parenthood. Being a parent can sometimes feel like a role to play, but really, when we look back, it’s the times we showed up as ourselves that we remember.
And the moments that create the better feeling moments later are when we showed up in the best of intentions. It’s when we were brave in a crisis, or laughed in the rain. It’s when we forgave and allowed, rather than resented and stormed out. The moments that create the best future are the ones when we are the best versions of ourselves.
Today is a created memory. You might look back at this time in years to come and get a whisp of its essence, like a cool breeze. You will smell something or hear something that may trigger today as a memory. What feeling space will you call up? What will be the overall vibration and will you look back in fondness?

Create a happy tomorrow by creating joy today.


Worrying about the future is done with the head, living present is done with the heart.