It’s been a bit of a crazy week. The countdown to our trip is on a roll, our children are feeling the stress and excitement, and my husband and I have to-do lists a mile long. Although, I sometimes wonder if we do have to-do lists or if we’re just so use to having them that we make up extra stuff to fill them up… hmmm.
Anyway, somewhere down the line I pushed my “overwhelmed” button. It was an interesting thing to watch really. From things going by un-noticed, stress falling off my back like water from a duck, suddenly little things started to niggle me. I started picking up the paper, talking about negative events, I started to notice the things that were going wrong, just little things started to become part of the day… the niggling things, the “oh that bugs me” things, that I usually try to avoid like the plague.
Yes, I realize this is a parenting blog, and suddenly I’m talking about myself, but I’ve sometimes wondered what our children think of my writing about their experiences as I do… maybe one about myself will even things out a bit.
It was almost comedic watching Law of Attraction respond… quickly too… 911 quick.
So the niggling things, grew more… well niggly. My frustration was met with more, our poor children were soon wondering why their mother looked so drained and was barely listening. The more frustrated I got, the more focused on the negative, the more down on myself I got. I was aware of my state, so told myself I wouldn’t be able to write well in that state, I started to criticize my own work, started on a spiral…. Oh yeah it’s been a doozy of a week.
LOA made a few negative comments come in regarding my work, a few people didn’t understand my parenting perspective. I watched as I put focus on those few, rather then the ever grown 590 people on Facebook! Yes the Overwhelmed button had been pushed… HARD!
Suddenly all our children would call me at once, they would get hurt at once, need me at once. Then my mother would talk to me, my husband would ask me something, and just when I thought I had my moment at night to find calm and write, BOOM, our little boy would wake up, and sensing I was off, want to cuddle me all night long.
I better jump to the good stuff before I feel down again.
Spiritually Awareness doesn’t mean you’re always on the mark. It doesn’t mean you run around always feeling amazing… It’s about the awareness and doing the work to get on target again. We have to own our vibration, and the feel space we’re in, in order to improve it.
You know what released my button? When I shifted focus from it. Rather then beating the drum of “I’m disconnected, disconnected, overwhelmed, overwhelmed”, I looked around and finally saw… Really SAW the little boy tugging at my pant leg asking me to play. So I did. I dropped everything and played. I chased, played trucks, played ball, built towers, read books, made funny faces, talked about animals noises, gave baths, splashed, and played. I went from being the rushed around, disconnected, not listening mom, and played. I felt better… and I was doing better.
Our daughters are getting older. They don’t want me on my hands and knees pushing little cars around. No, jiving with them has reached a different place now, and I know what it is. Listening. They love to have me listen intently to them, to meet them in that place of knowingness where I can finish their sentences, and maybe make a joke or two. When I’m overwhelmed I rush everyone thru everything. I don’t stop and listen as I convince myself I’m too overwhelmed to take my focus away from my own thoughts right now.
Tonight, I spent ages brushing my daughter’s hair, talking with her, laughing together. I then chatted with our eldest, who could talk about her feelings, and finally had a mother who was listening. Its amazing how feeling like a better mother relieves the overwhelmed sense of parenting.
So many parents get overwhelmed, and we all seem to blame our kids for us being in that state. But its just about shifting focus, it’s about enjoying the moment, loving the time, savouring the experience.
This week I re-learnt that in fact, our children are truly the best way to get out of that state, and no one gets us there except ourselves.
Abraham Hicks had a great quote this week, basically it was that Now is like planning our future. It’s the Now that creates what later will bring. So when we shift focus from where we’ve been, or where’s we’re going, and create the feel good Now, everything else, simply takes care of itself. In this Now, I will feel better… and play.