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Saturday, February 9, 2013

New adventures and an unsettled boy

It’s been a really long time since I’ve posted on this site. I’ve missed it. It’s been a crazy six months with us returning to Canada from Wales, UK, returning to our homestead, off grid farm house and trying to reclaim it from the damage we found upon our return. We did well. As a family, we did well. Our little man found the transition hard, still missing some of the things we had to leave behind, but still, we did well. By Christmas all was returned to its former glory, better in fact. We closed the year in a happy, warm home, in front of a lit candle blown out at midnight. We promised ourselves, as a family, that this year would be one of new adventures, new horizons, and happy living.
Two weeks later, we’d taken a leap of faith.
I’ve been really busy with my work on Spiritually Aware Parenting. I released a new book before Christmas, I’ve started an online advice column, I’ve written some articles and some guest blog posts and have been in touch with some fantastic people. I love my SAP work, it grounds me, it connects me, it makes me the parent I want to be, the person I want to be. It’s important to me. But as a family we decided to add something to the mix. So we rented a small shop space in our hometown and we’re currently getting it ready to be a healthy take away food/juice bar joint. My husband trained as a natural health practitioner years ago and ontop of that he’s an amazing cook, so we’re starting off small and we’re doing what we’ve talked about doing for years: As a family.
The girls are so excited. They will have their jobs divided up, they’ll have a couple of hours of schoolwork to do in the backspace, they will help serve and pack up, clean and sweep as well as take care of their brother, our little man.
Ah yes, the little man. I’ve been getting a little wary about him the past couple of weeks. He started crying when he didn’t get what he wanted, he’s demanding a lot from his sisters, he’s frustrated and upset, suddenly being at our new shop a lot rather than the farm he now loves. Snow came heavily this year and he feels restless, not liking the cold that bites his fingers and toes and then, there’s his family, his parents and sisters who are all hyped up about an idea he barely understands. Life has gotten messy, again, but often it has to in order to get to the new space.
Most people don’t talk about spirituality to their three year olds. I do. I know he has a lot to deal with, a lot of emotions that are confusing him. I know that often we’re running around, rushing him here and there and things just aren’t going the way he wants. I also know that no matter how young he is the Law of Attraction will still be in action. If he’s feeling off, he’ll get more to feel off about. I have to start building awareness and helping him feel better.
But first, I play. There is no better therapy for a stressed out momma than sitting and playing with our darlings. I sit on our bed and we make it a “blender car”, which he invented, it’s a car that makes food for his toys or we play in our shop’s basement with water or his tractor. Last night we walked down to our corner store while his sisters were at a friend’s, I talked to him, connected with him, answered his questions and even took his advice as we walked through the store. Suddenly, he was back, he was himself, eager, curious and happy. I had my clue, as connection and play always leads us to them. No more wandering aimlessly, wondering how to help him, thinking of storytimes or even pondering whether he would like a playgroup or something while life got hectic. In my connection with him, I was connected to myself again and him to himself. We were back to being the spiritual team that looked out for his wellbeing.
So, we talked. When he was feeling good, playing away, I mentioned how great it was to have a good game going. We talked about how great it was when everyone played together, listening together and helping each other, rather than one person trying to be the boss. As we played, we talked about treating people the way we want to be treated. As we laughed, I mentioned that sometimes life surprises us with new games (or brands of bubbles which is his new passion) and if he tries to force everyone to do his game then he’ll miss out on a new one.
By the end of the day he’d played well with each member of the family, but when we all got busy I reminded him that it’s best to play alone: If we can play alone then we will never be lonely or feel left out. So, happily, secure in his connection with all of us, he went to play alone and make his own discoveries. He called us in, as we scurried about looking at shop renovations and discussing details, we’d stop and see his new focus, and then off he was again. Connected, happy and adjusted to his new changes.
Or sure, I’m sure there’ll be plenty of Off moments along this new journey, for all of us, not just our little man. But no matter what, I’ll state it here and now, our darlings are first and foremost, if the scale is tipping to stress and disconnected, we’ll play, we’ll stop, we’ll breathe and we’ll laugh. I’m thrilled to say we’re doing it together. I love seeing our children discussing each detail and making suggestions. I love being on an adventure with them. If they trip, I’ll help pick them up, if things get rough, we’ll refocus, close the door and play together, and no matter what, I will listen, take their advice, answer their questions and value their opinions. Each of my darlings are an important instrument in making this family play a beautiful song. Occasionally, for the group to work I might need to conduct, but mostly, I’ll play along, enjoying the musical experience.

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