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Thursday, July 9, 2015

Finding my connection within pregnancy

It was our boy’s birthday yesterday. Six. Wow. Six years since the moon was my midwife and we welcomed him into the world.
I often like to write on the birthdays of our children. They are like my own personal days of celebration. Little white flags that cheer my personal journey of parenthood. I don’t make any outside show for myself, just little inner shouts of joy and a bit of reflection of the trip so far. It’s been good. It is good. So Good.
Our boy’s birth though. His is a personal triumph. His was when I finally shook my pre-determined concepts of how it was suppose to be, and went a more inward, contemplative, meditative, Spiritually Aware Route. From the moment he was conceived, our boy was my teacher.
Six years and nine months ago, I was stressed, distressed, and overwhelmed. Our girls were five and six, just starting homeschooling, my husband was renovating our home and we had a small homesteading farm, my family was having problems too so I was on the phone to my parents, siblings and friends all the time. I was excited to be pregnant, but scared too. I kept thinking that surely all this would result in a miscarriage or some emergency.
5 years before our daughter had been born quickly at home and then rushed to the hospital... for no apparent reason except for being a bit early. I guess homebirths just weren’t the thing eleven years ago in Canada. Upon arrival they prodded and injected against our will, she then ended up in the ICU for 2 weeks. It was the worst 14 days of my life. I felt voiceless, and guideless. I couldn’t find the space to tap into the Source of wellbeing I had always known. The dark pit had me scared and overwhelmed. It was isolating. Our older daughter was only ten months (Irish twins as they say) So I went through the motions... aware only of my unawareness.
When I found out I was pregnant again those five years later, I wanted it different... and then I found myself snowed under in circumstance. Within a few months of teeter tottering I decided to rise above it all and trust in my dearest Source.
 I found a sense of trinity with me, my son, and Source Energy/God. Suddenly I could know all was well. When I fell into worrying  about how things were, I received a kick from our boy. When I was stressed and unfocused I got two kicks. Little reminders that it was the moment that mattered. That my imagination could be used for positive outcomes and that appreciation and awareness created magic. Together we connected and pondered life mysteries. We played, we laughed and I started to see the world through his sense of reality. It was beautifully exhilarating.
When I greeted our son early in the morning on July 8th, there were so many things which could have been focused on.  I could have been scared or panicky, I could have wrapped my mind around organizing or worrying about our daughters who were a little freaked, or I could have doubted the wellness of everything and questioned everything that had gone before. But instead I’ll never forget the moment I saw him.
It was like greeting a good friend. I recognized him and he did me as well.
I shouted out “my boy, there’s my boy.”
And from his essence he seemed to exude the statement. “I told you all would be well.”
With the birth of our son, the concepts of Spiritually Aware Parenting were born.
Find Connection within yourself first, and then you can find incredible, extraordinary connections with your children. It is a cycle of love.
So often we all go about it the opposite way; worrying about our children which knocks us off axis and disconnects us from our instincts... preventing ourselves from sensing what our children really need.
I’m in the midst of fine-tuning my coaching packages as well as sorting out my SAP Summer Challenge and in doing so I found myself asking what drove me to do my pregnancy package. Funny how I should ask myself this so near the anniversary of my boy’s birth... for there was the answer in front of me.
Often life is chaotic and speeding all around us. The difference finding that connection brings is magical. I experienced it firsthand. But often it felt delusional. Often it felt silly to not just give in to the fear and reality, the upsets and stresses and feel tossed about on the sea of unknowingness.. If I had had someone who would have told me- Go for it. Trust the Connection-meditate on your breath, focus your thoughts, Connect to all you are. talk to your baby, relate to him. I wouldn’t have had so many moments of feeling unprepared or isolated. Even during his birth I swayed from fear to love and back again. The moon was my midwife only as it was the focus I shifted to as I looked at her out the window and surrendered. It’s in the trust and faith of wellbeing and love that creates more of the same and when we are enthralled by that Power of Divinity and Love... oh each experience is amplified by millions.
That’s why I do what I do. I love seeing parents feel that connection with their unborn child, I love hearing them sigh in relief of feeling the fear lift, even for enough time to seek a new perspective. I love people seeing their pregnancy as a transformation, not just for their growing baby, but for them; a time to define and fine tune themselves and focus their intentions. Life is a magical winding path, with adventure everywhere. Pregnancy is always proof of that.

So, I guess on this sixth birthday of our boy I need to thank him. He taught me so much and still does and he will forever be that little baby, giving me a little nudge telling me to trust and all is well.

Christina Fletcher's pregnancy book is available on her website or through Amazon and other
online bookstores

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