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Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Taking Care of Your Story

 Everyone... yes, everyone... will occasionally find life challenging and yes, that includes our children who have a hard time, through new experiences, growing pains, learning curves, lost toys, scrapped knees or  friends.
Sometimes, we can find ourselves overwhelmed, juggling too many balls in the air to count and wondering how to keep things afloat.
And sometimes, we all feel a good vent is a great and healthy thing.
Of course.
And it is. It really is. It’s good to put all the ducks in a row and really get through the cloud of what’s bothering us and state it loud and clear.
Name it well.
But the next step is often forgotten, because once the issue that’s troubling us is out in the open, two things happen.
First, it can easily become our story for ourselves. We’ve told it once, and now it keeps happening, and we see evidence that backs it up all over the place. We’ve complained that no one ever picks up after themselves... next morning, there are toys all over the living room... In becoming part of our story it is part of the fabric of our lives... the law of attraction takes hold, bringing in more of the feeling we carry, the focus we hold. unless we choose not to let it.
Second of all, it becomes our story for other people.
How often have we vented everything out to a friend or family member and then next week, when we’ve adjusted and felt better, they notice something in our experience...
“Oh yeah, they are messy, aren’t they? Just look at the mess.”
A lovely story reminder... our perspective has shifted and suddenly we see the mess again.
Or, when life is especially full of balls to juggle, subtle comments like..
“I don’t know how you do it?” can make us question ourselves.
“hmmm. I don’t know how I do it either.”
Comments which may come from a place of support actually ring out as something much different. The focus becomes about how well we deal in struggle... but the struggle is what is the basic theme.
It also happens with our children. When they feel unpopular at school, or feel like they can’t do well at something. When they lose things or go through a hard time. We can see their upset as their story and alter things to “support” them, only to hold them in a place of that painful moment. We want to validate how they feel, but in the meantime, can hold them in the space of that feeling, rather than helping them shift to something new.
There was an Abraham Hicks Quote about this on their facebook page today it read;
“The greatest gift you could give to anyone you love, is the gift of positive expectation.”
Imagine, if every complaint or vent, was a stop sign, a reset button. A sign that said;
This is how it’s been and because of that, I know another story.”
And the new story was what was supported and nurtured.
What if we had the capacity of holding space for others to the point of seeing what they have created from what they have experienced?
What if every messy house conversation bounced off to a place of appreciating and supporting each attempt at keeping clean? What if every one of our children’s disappointments bounced off to a place of looking for opportunities of wellbeing flowing in?
And what if each problem created a support system for the seeking of a solution.
We don’t want to push positive to the point of denial... pushing a happy face on our children to the point of burying their pain. That’s not going to create any happy journeys. Rather, the razor edge path is about gradually shifting from a place of upset, banging the drum of disappointment, and when it feels like it’s just hit that point of enough... shift to solution based, trust in wellbeing, gradually moving towards feeling good vibration. I call my process the At Least Game.
It’s not that difficult and I want to quickly offer a focus point to do it with your children. You might have heard me mention it before, but it’s a good reminder.
Simply start 5 sentences with the words At Least.
Try it. You can’t help but feel a shift in feeling space. The tension feels less tense. The juggling seems less overwhelming. Even the mess seems less messy (at least my room is clean. At least no one did any baking. At least I have a vaccum, at least I can play awesome music through the house. At least I have a family to make that mess.)
And, what a way to hold space for other people too; for friends, neighbors, anyone who is upset... for our children.

Take care of your story, which is created by the story you tell yourself. Every story has struggle, but only for character development. The stories are only happy when focused on the solution.

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