We All Need Heroes

As a huge portion of the world sits watching how Irma and all her offspring will leave parts of the world when they are finally gone, while others are still dealing with Harvey's aftermath or the fire damages, I want to talk to you about something we all need.
Heroes. They come in different shapes, forms and intentions, but I want to encourage you to take a moment, breathe deep, and consider yours for a moment... yours, and your children's.

See my son finally sat down and watched Superman with the family.

No, not some violent, dark film where it's confusing to figure out who's fighting who... but the real Superman. The Christopher Reeves man of steel, who wants truth and justice, who never lies and sends half his income to his silver haired mother. The hero who inspired my generation to be better people... and not hurt others... only create a better world.

I've been eager to show my son this movie, but since he accidentally saw some scenes of the newer Superman a couple of years back, he's adamantly refused to watch any superhero movies... and who can blame him.

So, why, you ask. Why am I happy to finally get him to watch Superman?

Because, as much as  Postman Pat, Little Bear, and good ol' Christopher Robin create a beautiful world for my boy I've been feeling that he also needed some heroes to shine a light forward as he grows and expands in life.

Life is full of contrasting experiences for all of us. We experience challenging times to discover our inner strengths, desires and yeah... our inner heroes. (That's why we create stories about them in the first place. Without challenges, no storybook hero would have a chance to exist.)

My son wants a pretty world in his head, but let's face it, there's a lot of fear in the world and a lot of things we "don't want". I want him to know stories of good, kind, strong men and women, who shine their light and see the best in all. I will never force him to learn of them, but I'm happy when he opens up to them. I want to be able to hold that image as an instruction manual in times of need. How would Superman react in times of crisis? (and no... not just the fly around and save the day sort of way... the compassionate, caring and loving way.)

The world made a little more sense to my son yesterday when he watched Superman with his classic cape and bright red boots. He works for justice and refuses to hurt anyone.

We all need heroes.

Awhile back I was discussing heroes with someone and they were asking what the point of having heroes was. I mean, in some ways people could see it as a form of idolization or mimic to look to someone else and hold them in high enough regard to garnish the term “Hero.” Others use the term as “Modern Day Heroes.” Someone who got the job done did what was right. Fought for others.

But I have another view of heroism.

We choose our heroes as those who have perfected qualities we want to foster within ourselves.

They are more than people we admire, rather we have an intuitive pull within us when we find a hero, as we know we have witnessed or seen the world through the eyes of someone we want to be more like, they emulate our ideal self and in doing so, they can help us get a better sense of how we can practice that.

If you've studied self-help at all, you know the power of visualization. You have probably heard the concept of the Ideal Self (Hey, if you've worked with me or are enrolled in the Stepping into Your Light Course, you've worked on that concept already.) Well, a hero can give us a good platform to work from when designing that concept, because by witnessing their actions and how they carry themselves we get an intuitive snapshot of what we resonate with ourselves.

My mom's hero was Marmee March from Little Women. The quintessential mother, who raised her daughters to stand strong and think independently. This concept of a hero helped shape my mother's life for a very long time.

I've had many heroes over time.

Probably a steadfast one is Madeleine L'Engle, who wrote A Wrinkle in Time as well as so many others. She wrote because she had to, it was in her soul. She had to get the words to paper. She wrote what she lived, what she loved and she shared so much wisdom with the world.

Anne, from the Anne of Green Gables, reminds me of fiery spirits and the power of the imagination.

Larry from The Razor's Edge... reminds me of letting Spirit guide you to a sense of empowered individualism.
Elizabeth Gilbert for her Authenticity...
Louise Hay for her embrace of life and contribution of love. (We'll miss you, Louise. <3 )

Perhaps, as a mother, I resonate more with Marmee March than I thought I did...

I think it's time we all put thought into our heroes.

A Hero casts an image, a framework, which we can try on and see if it feels like a comfortable fit. It then can help us remember ourselves in darker times, and give us direction to find our inner compass when we think we've lost it.
(Remember the phrase and trend WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?) Asking ourselves what our heroes would do in any circumstances can give different insight and direction.

Now, as someone who continually talks about our inner guidance systems and trusting your own spiritual connection, I'm in no way suggesting you simply act like someone else. Rather, our heroes actually can remind ourselves of the best parts of us.
They remind us that we aren't alone and, like my son experienced, they tell us that there are others who have high ideals and peaceful intentions. That it is true power to be kind and the light is incredibly strong indeed.

 By the way, The Stepping into Your Light Course is open for enrollment for only $77 at the moment. The course really supports your high self, helping you discover your inner light and help it shine, releasing what holds you back in the shadows. We will be having a group study of the material within the private Facebook Community in a couple of weeks which really gives you support and accountability through the whole 4 weeks of the course.

Also, if you would like to chat about your heroes, helping your children discover their heroes, or even just about Spiritually Aware Parenting and how to use it to resolve any challenges you may be having, feel free to book a connection chat with me. It's a free 20-minute session where we dive deep and explore what's holding you back and what you can do to break free.

The 3 Sources of Guilt

So over the past few weeks we’ve been looking at guilt and how to listen to your own inner guidance webinar, but in truth I know how a scheduled event can cause stress and a replay can sit there for awhile, always as a “I should watch that.”

system. I presented the three sources of guilt to you in the

(ugh, and then that leads to feeling guilty for not watching something about feeling guilty! That really takes the cake.)

So, I wanted to share with you the basic points discussed on Saturday, just for quick reference.

Because that’s what guilt is about. It’s about reference. It’s about knowing the sources of the guilty feelings and then weighing it up to see if it resonates with your authentic self.

So, here are the three types of guilt we discussed the other day:

Socially Implied- the feeling of the raised eyebrow when your house is messy. The feeling of your mother’s eyes on you when let your child down from the table without finishing dinner, or the feeling of ickiness when your child is having a tantrum in public. Socially implied guilt comes from all sorts of directions and comes from when others, (friends, family or strangers) suggests we are doing it all wrong and we absorb it as truth. We feel guilty and are suddenly sneaking around breastfeeding or shuttering when our children don’t say excuse me that ONE TIME. We also find it when we assume others are thinking things about us, even if we know its true or not. When we feel people are thinking we are losing it or not doing a good job, when we allow those reflections to undermine ourselves.

Remedy- Reminding ourselves that everyone else has their own journey and that this is our own, frees ourselves to make our own mistakes and try out our own approaches. “Be yourself, everyone else is taken.” Times have changed and our parents approaches, or our grandparents’, were based on adifferent understanding of what a parent is. Therefore, why should they understand why we are trying something different. Children being seen and not heard still has a ghost like presence in the minds of so many and when children are taught to be the people they really are, it can scare others that they did it wrong. Trust in your own processes and know yourself. Trust in other people to have their own processes, life journeys and mistakes... even if they don’t get it from their perspective.

Personally Inflicted- Probably more deepseeded than Socially implied, personally inflicted guilt is generated within ourselves. We can have a concept of a “Parent’s” job and, because its thought through and not based on an authentic version of ourselves, it becomes full of “should’s” I should be able to work, play, discipline, cook, clean, mend, drive, schedule, sew, afford and love... and practice mindfulness, self care, meditation and yoga. When we miss a step on our imagined “should”, we feel guilt, which can then lead to a feeling of failure, unworthiness, and insecurity. It’s a spiral of guilt, which leads to us trying to do everything and doing nothing, and watering ourselves down in the process. We miss out on our authentic parenting experience, because we are too busy trying to be something impossible to be.

Remedy- Drop deep within yourself and allow yourself to be the person you came to be. Take a moment to release yourself from the prison you’ve created in your mind, observe your life experience rather than trying to control it. Who Are You and what’s authentic to you? When you allow yourself to show up as yourself you can feel your way to the best choices and decisions. Don’t like cooking... your child really won’t suffer if you can’t bake a cake, they just don’t like hunger. Don’t sew... then don’t. Can’t find time to meditate, realize that even focused play can be mind altering meditation, when you align in you moment and focus on fun. Be you, find you and radiate as You. And forgive yourself for those things that are someone else’s journey.

Spiritually Indicated

Not a guilt at all. Rather, it is the an indicator of our inner guidance system.

We are spiritual beings and our spirits are always there giving a heads up, directions and a general sense of GPS. When we start down a road that won’t lead to the right direction, we have a fellow driver that gives a nudge and says.. “not this way, turn around.”

Its not berating or mean, it will never undermine our intelligence or make us cry. Rather its simply a nudge in the right direction. It feels good when we acknowledge it.

Spiritually indicted “guilt”, is felt not thought. It builds us up, not knock us down. It supports Who we Really Are and doesn’t ask us to blend in.

It shows up when we’ve practiced being spiritually aware and built up our sense of where we’re heading.

In fact, it is the remedy... it doesn’t need one... because it’s not a negative feeling.

It comes from love.

During the webinar we also talked a bit about the law of attraction and how guilt can become an attraction point and about neural passage, with guilt becoming a habitual pattern.

So, now what?

Well, freeing yourself from guilt is truly about setting yourself free... no one can do it for you... but you can have support to start re-programming how you feel about your choices and making sure you are coming from your authentic self.

I’m trying to find the best way to support you on this journey and one way I’m offering is through a 4 week program for 8 participants. We’ll meet each Saturday and have a private FB group too, so we can really dig deep and change some negative chatter which feeds the guilt. It starts June 4^th, just in time for Summer break and right now is only $77 USD for all 4 weeks. That’s less than $20 a session and you’ll be having 1;1 time in the sessions, discussing your specific scenario, within a supportive group of people feeling the same way.

I’m really hoping we can take our community to this next level. It’s going to be so liberating and exciting to work together.

For more information you can visit here. Registration takes place there as well or you can email me at Christina@spirituallyawareparenting.com with any questions.

Too Guilty to be Perfect

To the woman at the playground today. I’m sorry.

I know that it might have seemed like I was kind of staring at you and your daughter as you struggled with your young son in your ergo carrier, and she was struggling with putting on her shoes, and was scared of going back on her bike.

I know you felt like I was judging you, but I really wasn’t.

I know you were trying to get everything together because you were feeling embarrassed, but you really didn’t have to be.

I was only trying to see if there was any room for me to help. I was pondering if I would be interfering if I was to help your daughter tie her shoes... or help you do the strap on your ergo.

I was trying to let you know, we’ve all been there and that I know how frustrating it can be.

I was trying to send you love and hold space for you.

And yet, I could feel the guilt you felt and the sense of failing and wanting to flee the scene.

I wanted to tell you; We’ve all been there. You have nothing to flee from.

We’ve all had those moments. The “I’ve got to get home, my baby is getting hungry, I’ve got to make supper, and contact those people, and get to that meeting and oh, my god, why will she not get her shoes on...” moments.

We’ve all had to walk away to find peace.

So, the next time, you feel weird about being at the park and having one of those moments, don’t feel embarrassed or weird. Ask a mom for help, or trust that we’ve all been there. Know that it will get easier, and soon you’ll find the grove where you look at your older daughter and ask her to help with your straps and then you can help her with hers.

I wish I had been more articulate and said this to the young mom I saw at the park today. Having had the topic of guilt come up on the Spiritually Aware Parenting Facebook group this week and seeing how guilt taunts and haunts most of the members, it’s safe to say it torments all of us. Somewhere along the road of time we’ve learnt that we should be no less than perfect, and that with ever growing to-do lists, distractions, jobs, and studies about spending time and attention with our children, it never seems there’s enough time, let alone perfection.

So, we feel guilty for not being able to achieve the impossible.

Oh, and then we feel guilty for taking a few moments off from trying to be perfect.

We’ve got ourselves in quite the vibrational trap, don’t we?

And, as we find out more and more about what we “should” and what we “shouldn’t” be doing, and the more articles friends and family kindly tell us about to point out our misgivings the tighter we wind ourselves, and the more we lose sight of Who we Are... and the parent we really want to be.

We feel guilty if our house is messy, or if we haven’t spent time with our kids, guilty over being on too much screens, or not reading enough, guilty about cleaning too much and not playing enough, or playing too much and having dishes in the sink. We feel bad if we think our parents, neighbors, and strangers disapprove, but deep down know we need to approve of ourselves and so we feel bad because we don’t even know what we feel is the right course any more.

 Phew. With such a tug of war on our attention it’s no wonder we have problems focusing.

And so, it’s time to call a truce. It’s time to forgive ourselves, clear the space in our hearts and minds and truly decide what’s important to ourselves and our families... guilt free. Guilt free so we can feel what our Spirits, our Source and our sense of selves are trying to tell us what to do. Guilt free so we can feel our way to the right solutions.

And Guess what? We’re going to do it together. I’ve got a few things to sort out and then I’ve got some big announcements to be made. Here's the link to the first step!

I can tell you right now that May and June of 2016 are destined to be exciting months, liberating months, which will release you from guilt and into a space of intuitive clarity and authentic concepts of the real “shoulds” in your life. So you can enjoy your children’s play without feeling bad about dishes, and enjoy your thoughts when doing chores, without feeling guilty for something else. We’ll even clear guilt of taking some self care time, where you and yourself can spend some time together, without feeling like it’s too large of luxury.

Stay tuned. (I can’t express how excited I am!)