The Course in Spirituality for Children breakdown.

I've been meaning to write this post for awhile... but summer happened... and now it's almost too late!

You see, since early July I've had a summer sale of $90 on Spiritual Kids the e-course. 
but I have to end the sale as of tomorrow night,(August 10th)  sending it back to $147,  to get ready for some fall offerings.


So, I thought I'd take a moment to really let you know what we're looking at if you buy it at this amazing price before tomorrow night... because, it would be sad to learn afterward, right?
($90 is only  $15 a week, less than a yoga or meditation class and you keep this material  forever)

You'll get access to week 1 right away.
Week one looks at Your sense of Spirituality and how to create a new space for it within your life.
It gives you a video lesson which helps open you up to Spirit and invite it into your home.
Plus a meditation which creates the energy of opening up to that invitation.
You also get a few worksheets which help clear some of the mind chatter and clutter from your life, so you have a clear intention going into the next 5 weeks.

One week later you'll get the What is Spirit, lesson...
The video lesson covers a wide perspective of Spirit, allowing you to use whatever term you feel comfortable with, but giving you some clear guidelines to start expressing with your children. (this isn't Sunday school, there's plenty of room for you to feel what feels right to you.)

One week after that, we talk about Meditation, as a way to find a connection with spirit.
Yes, you'll be given tools to help you meditate so you can be the example, as well as your own Mp3 meditation.
You'll also have an MP3 for your child and a range of exercises, to help create the right space for them. Time outs/time in's be gone... meditation will become the new and exciting quiet time for both of you.

On week 4- we look at emotions.
The video lesson breaks down what emotions indicate spiritually and offers tools within your parenting as well as yourself.
You have amazing worksheets and stories within this lesson and a whole workbook on Emotions.

Week 5- is Appreciation...
It has  its own section. In the video we discuss the difference between Gratitude and Appreciation and how they feel. We talk about the power of using appreciation for when life is spiraling. This is a huge section with worksheets, crafts and exciting experiences.

And then, we wrap up with the Law of Attraction...
This might be the most powerful section and it inspired the whole course. My daughter thanks me all the time for passing on LOA to her from a young age.
In the video lesson, you get a thorough breakdown of how the law of attraction works, past the Secret and simple manifestation. We are looking at how it changes your parenting and days when you start to observe and shift with it. There's another Mp3 meditation, 2 workbooks, and lots of exercises to do with your children, as well as 2 stories for bedtime reading... or whenever.

Like I mentioned, you can use the material as often as you like, for as long as you like, once it's in your inbox. The exercises are aimed at anyone with children 3-13... but a lot of parents are loving the work themselves, so I don't know if I can say that anymore.

Phew... ok. I'm sorry if I sound salesy... I really am hesitant when it comes to selling sometimes, but I also know how frustrating it is when people have been getting newsletters and being part of the group and then they find out months down the road that something I've made was available and they say “if only it was a little in my price range, like $90 instead of $147.”

See what I mean?

So, That's my breakdown. Thanks for reading.

You can enroll in the course here.

I kind of just sat here and let it roll on.. so that's why that short announcement was so, well lengthy.

Lots of love and light everyone,
Be well,
Christina


PS... the reason why I launched the sale in the first place was that I truly feel it's a wonderful time to dive into a Spiritual perspective focus. Kids are just going back to school, life is changing speed, but there's the space to breathe deep and set spirituality as a priority before seasonal rushes. I hope this resonates with you.

I missed the mark...but now it's time to Align and Shine!

I missed my mark...

I skipped a cue and I was a little disconnected....

I'm sorry... but it will be worth it.

See, the thing is, that for the past few months I’ve known a New Years challenge was something I really wanted to do, but because I was swarming in work and...well... it wasn’t new years eve yet, I came up with the processes in kind of a half minded way. I did it via the steps I’m “supposed” to follow, the way coaches do it and the “Embrace Feeling Good” challenge was created. But it hasn’t been resonating or coming together at all. In fact, I was supposed to get my filming done before Christmas break, and it hasn’t flowed yet.

What I love about my work is the fact that as I offer tools to be authentic to yourself, that means I have to use the tools to be authentic to myself. I don’t offer anything I don’t do myself. Everything we work on together, has to come from an inner calling... otherwise, it’s not spiritually aware, right?

Isn’t that the best cycle!

So, over the last couple of days I’ve been asking Spirit to flood the concept and really show me what it should be. What is really going to set 2017 up with a solid foundation of love? What is going to Feel Good... (like the original challenge concept) and yet, be about clearing space, feeling authentically true and feeling good because we are aligned to the highest versions of ourselves? How can we show up this year, with a basement of love, of relief and of honesty... honesty in ourselves and where we are?

So, it starts here... Honesty in myself.

I am shifting the challenge to a little different... now it’s not just about feeling good...

It’s about Showing up.

Showing up as Ourselves for 2017.

http://www.subscribepage.com/alignandshine2017

The truth is, the world is going through a lot of changes. It’s not about feeling fearful as we cross the threshold of the new year, sure world events and social media might have us think that’s the only way to be, but I believe it’s an important time to radiate out as much love as possible.

And there is no purer light than for you to show up as You. It’s not about looking at the dark parts of the world or the negative stories and talking about how you don’t like them, (which we can all fall into) rather just shining as you.... focusing on the positive light, shining it bright, telling the feeling better story and well... feeling good,  the perfect antidote for an uncertain time.

When we are all resonating as our truest, deepest versions of ourselves, unapologetically, knowing that we are connected to our Spiritual guides/God/Source/inner being... then that is how we create a better home, a better world and a happier life for all our family. It’s also the tools our children need to resonate as themselves too. We all need to support each other to have the courage to shine as Who We Really Are.

So, this is the new sense of a “challenge”... but rather than a “challenge”, let’s go back to the term New Years Intention... this is the intention for 2017. AND YOU CAN SIGN UP HERE!

And we’re starting with a strong foundation... a basement of knowing who we are... who we aren’t... and freeing ourselves to be the best Self... the best parent/partner/friend/person we can radiate as.

Sounds an intense calling for a video “intention”?

Not at all.... We’ll be doing it aligned and easy. A few exercises, a few videos, and sharing with each other on  FB... we’ll be laying the foundations for a good year where we can radiate. It will feel liberating, relieving... and clear. You’ll feel lighter, and ready to creating an amazing 2017.

I hope you join me... because this is going to be awesome... It’s going to Feel Awesome and its going to flow.

Because... you know, it just feels right.

Oh yeah, one last thing...

It felt right to put on a Boxing day special for the Spiritual Kids Course... a little illogical when you consider I’ve been offline basically for a week and I haven’t been able to talk about it or build it up. But it’s on for $97 until January 6th (instead of $147). I figure that most of the exercises are what I’ve used to start the New Years for my children over the years. There is something about going through the processes of exploring who we are and what we appreciate, how we find our inner selves and how to set a good attraction point in January that seems to bring a consciousness to home, and I wanted to make sure you had a chance to have that opportunity as well.

Again... it's felt good.

So... let’s be aligned together, and hold space for each other. Finding that quiet space within, connecting to that divinity within, and radiating the light from our deepest selves.

And then we’ll feel really good.

All I want for the Holidays

You know what I want for Christmas this year?

I want fun.

I want to have a lightness to life and let it flow through my core. I want to giggle and to have belly laughs, like my son can still. I want to goof around, and be silly. It’s not like I stopped being silly on purpose, somewhere  I just thought I got too busy. But that’s ridiculous, isn’t it?

When people describe me, I often get “positive” and “cheerful” in the description... I think I once got “bubbly”... which I thought was kinda neat although... maybe a little concerning! But sometimes, I forget to let that feeling really drop. I forget to let the thoughts actually vibrate... well at a bubbly level. I think we all do this, we skim through life’s offerings ... never fully experiencing the feeling, which can make life kinda bland. It stops the belly laughs, really.

It’s like when I try to figure out if the presents I’m buying my kids are all fairly distributed, and rather than sitting down with pen and paper in hand to figure it out, I try to mentally think about that as well as everything else... the feeling space turns stressful, because it’s unfocused and unfelt. Rather than fun, because I could be really savouring the joy of giving.

 Mindfulness creates focus, but its circular, as it also comes with focus.

I had the most wondrous realisation the other day. I’m married to the love of my life. I dreamt of meeting him since I was 5, and now we’ve been married for 15 years. Woah! How did that happen? Not only that, but I’m a mom to my dream kids, and I get to come up with ways to pass on spirituality to them and share them with other parents, I get to talk practical spirituality and relationships and parenting with people all across the world daily. I get to write and express myself and I live in a world that I can share that in a click of a button. I get to show up as me. I need to let that sink in finally, rather than chasing it, because I haven’t actually realised it.

So often I talk with parents and they talk about being more present in their parenting, and I think coming to terms with this kind of realisation is a big key to that.

Look at what you’ve got, and decide to claim it. Let it sink in.

Appreciate the moment, and know it will change, and most likely get even better, but what you’ve put out for has come to this point, which will bring forth more asking. So, appreciate what you already have in front of you, and let your heart fill and your energy ground you to the floor in the awe of it all.

Because appreciation can be one of those skimming thoughts, can’t it?

We can list off what we have, like a grocery list, and check them off, almost scared that truly appreciating them, loving them to our core, will make us too vulnerable.

Oh, that’s deep, right?

Love makes us vulnerable.

I remember, when my husband and I first met, we felt so vulnerable, because we thought we could lose each other. We could almost feel ourselves pull back out of the fear of not having each other.

How many other things do we do that with? How much of life do we skim over, not wanting to drop into it completely for fear of missing it if it goes away?

So, what’s the point of this letter?

Well, in these darker days of winter, and as winter holidays approach, I want to encourage you to do two things...

Savour those in front of you and let the loving of them, fill you up from your toes. Don’t just make lists about being grateful for them, rather let yourself Feel the love of for each item on that list, let the list build, so you feel elated.

Second thing is, let any stress go and have some fun! It’s time to feel wonderful, it’s time to enjoy the little things, really enjoy them, and it’s time to embrace feeling good! And Live it up.

Imagine for one moment, if the vibration we collectively carried into the New Year was one of Joy.

What would that feel like as a community?

I guess we'll have to wait to see. 

Oh by the way, I’m working on a free video challenge to start the new year off in a feeling good place, I’ll be letting you know more details closer to the date, but I really hope you can join me.

 I think we should all go into 2017 feeling good about ourselves and our families. <3

Can I take over?

Sometimes, you just have to take over.

This past week, it turned to winter, and it turned early. My daughter hates the cold and we’ve been talking about going away for some of the winter since... well, since last spring.

But winter came early and travel plans, well, let’s just say I’m barely planning Christmas yet.

It’s been a hectic time and I’m looking forward to some chillin’ in pjs and play. I’m not thrilled about the snow that’s pelting outside, but I also know that everything happens for a reason. We have to trust that all is well and that life is flowing just as it should. For some reason we’re sitting here with our heating on full and our old draughty house fighting it back with all its might. For some reason, we’re as under prepared for winter as ever before.

Because we were planning a trip, you know. And winter is early.

Our son is just happy his cat is in the warm and he has an excuse to play inside and not have to go out. Our one daughter isn’t happy about it, but she’s making the best of it. She’s reading, doing her schoolwork and crafting a lot in her room. She wants an adventure, but she’s remembering how it works... we’re here for some reason, all is well, and the snow melts at some point.

But our eldest is the one who is restless. She wants excitement and travel and exploration and who can blame her. She wants to study on the road, to see things, witness things and live. And with that focus her room was becoming a sea of chaos, and she was becoming upset with it all. Nothing was flowing and apathy was settling in.

It starts with a tone usually, which triggers the idea that something is frustrating her. And then it sparks to later mornings, and too much screens. If I say something she says it makes her feel bad... I get it I do. I remember being in that space and not knowing how to get out.
There’s a line in the Jack Nicholson movie “As Good as it gets.” that I’ve always loved

“I’m drowning here and you’re describing the water!”

I’ve come to the conclusion it’s really easy to describe our children’s water that they feel they are drowning in and it’s that process that can really make them shut down.

Sometimes, we have to just give them a hand up, and offer them a rubber dingy.

Every so often I look at either of my teen daughters and ask “would you like me to take over your life?”

And usually, because I ask when life is obviously too much, they sigh and say “yes please.”

So, like today. I clean their room, warning I’m coming with a garbage bag so they should grab what they want before I get in.

I lay out a to-do list, so they have a clear idea where their time should be spent.

I make their meals, making sure they are eating what they should and drinking enough water.

And then I make sure I’m hanging with them a bit more than usual. I make sure that life lightens up. I take some time to sit and giggle while doing our nails.

Because let’s face it, sometimes it can all seem a little bit baffling and we’re not born with a life instruction manual to tell us how to organise what we need to do. As a child grows we seem to expect them to know more and more, when really, when I look at it, I need a planner and breakdown to figure out what I need to do each week... and I only realised that a couple of years ago.

When you are paving your own path, banging your own drum, you can end up aimless and not knowing what to do next. It’s one of the cons of independence. So when our kids are learning independence, covering tips to recognise overwhelm and deal, simply by showing the example of them... that’s an important tool in their bag.

This can sometimes come at inconvenient times. It can lead to late night talks and even blame being thrown around, or stress out of defending themselves. No one wants to admit to overwhelm, but when its an acceptable thing in a home, when we all admit to sometimes dropping the ball, when things can be openly discussed, it means it's ok to say "yes, please take over for a little bit, so I can gather my thoughts and soul."

And sometimes someone asking if they can pick up the pieces just for a while, means our kids can find their  feet again and they can use those tools next time. Because next time, they will be able to feel where they are just a little bit better, and they'll be able to put it in order because we suggested how.

Tools for a Spiritually Aware Family

I remember when I was pregnant for the first time I had this overwhelming feeling of wanting to offer my daughter the tools to shine as herself. Even though I was quite young, through my wanderings and studies I had scraped the surface of spirituality, energy, the law of attraction and following bliss. I was experimenting with listening to intuition and trusting my relationship to divine source. Suddenly, I on to my child and I felt like I had nine months to figure out how to bring that to life for her.

wanted to pass tools of awareness

I’ve learnt a lot since then. I soon realised my daughter was spirit, and knew how spirit worked. I soon found that fun and play was the language of the soul and the journey of being a parent was a continuation of my own spiritual path, not a destination which I needed to prepare for.

However, as our daughters grew, by the time they were 3-4,  I had the pull to start sharing spirituality with them. They asked questions which needed metaphysical answers, I saw the opening for them to become aware of their emotions as messages from their spirit, and I knew that they needed to know how to radiate at the energy of what they wanted rather than focusing on what they don’t want. (It stopped whining so quickly!) Therefore, I started to piece together stories and activities to offer them tools for a happy life, to weave together a foundation of spiritual awareness for our family.

I was talking about teamwork with our youngest the other day, and our eldest daughter started talking about “the idea of the family as an orchestra, parents as a conductor” and how they had learnt about consideration and what feels good. I had to laugh at hearing words coming back to me, words and concepts that have been taken to heart by my children and philosophies that they are using day after day. I am so proud at how my children see spiritual concepts as every day, purposefully meditating before schoolwork and consciously choosing tv shows that resonate with what they want to feel.

I sigh in relief that my children know themselves and can find ways to tune into that when life gets too much.

But over the years, as my business as a parent coach and author has developed, that desire is more and more prevalent. Over this past month as the world has taken some strange dips and turns, parents are asking for this more and more.

We all want our children to be able to shine as Who They Really Are, to trust their heart and to know how to feel their way to their own deeper bliss. We want them to feel strong in their own individual journeys, not victims to what they think others think about them and not swaying in their own sense of self to please someone else. It is a powerful time for our children to shine, as themselves.

Perhaps that’s why it felt like the perfect time to finally put my first e-course together.

Spiritual Kids; building foundations for a spiritually aware family, comes out this Monday. The course is designed to empower you as a parent to shine as yourself, and offers you tools to offer your children through crafts, activities, and experiences. They get the games and fun, absorbing information about spirit, meditation, emotions and the law of attraction,  while you get to watch the video lessons and guided meditations. It is a combination that creates an organically rooted spiritual and emotional awareness in your home and family.

Feel free to check out the video below to get a greater sense of what I’m talking about.

But also make sure you check out the website to learn more. Once the course goes on sale it will be up for a promotional price for the first 50 courses sold (which includes lifetime access and a private facebook group) so, keep posted for sure! I can’t wait to share this information with you.

Wouldn't it be nice.... if?

We all have desires and wishes, for our family and for ourselves.

We all see things we don’t like within our lives, which we get used to complaining or grumbling about on the surface, and yet, stuck in our patterns of homeostasis, we are unwittingly unable to shift to that which we’ve wished for.

 We are told to find the feeling space of the ideal, the vibration of the desired outcome for our children, our home or ourselves, but sometimes that is too big of thing to find. Sometimes it feels too far away to feel it. Sometimes we don’t want to think of it, worried that the “wish” will get pushed away if we focus on it.

When people start learning about the law of attraction they sometimes worry  about every thought and word. They suck them back, scared to let their thoughts settle on anything for more than a second. Or they got caught up in the search for what they Really wanted, closing more options than opening up to them.

Because, although we might have things we don’t like, often we just can’t see our way out of living with them. We are designed for balance, for maintaining that sameness, not too hot, not too cold... just the same.

But we all want to unleash the power of those hidden desires. The ones that just would make life feel better, even if we can’t put our fingers on exactly what they are.

Do you want a little trick to tapping into them?

Try finishing the sentence: Wouldn’t it be nice if.....

Just try. I’ll wait here.

See the interesting thing about finishing off that thought, is that it acts like a door to our imagination and our subconscious. We are literally asking our spirit what do you want?

But without the weight of logically breaking it down, making lists or really committing to it.

We are just asking our spirit, what would you like to experience...

What would be nice for you?

Not, spectacular, not detailed extravaganza. It can be as general as you like, or as specific.

The only rule... it has to feel nice.

Where does the phrase take you?

Wouldn’t it be nice to have everyone play well together? Wouldn’t it be nice if we had more money?

Wouldn’t it be nice if I could offer my children more opportunities? Wouldn’t it be nice to travel?

Wouldn’t it be nice to have more time? Wouldn’t it be nice to go on a date? Wouldn’t it be nice to have more room? Wouldn’t it be nice to find a great school? To homeschool?

Sometimes even starting a phrase with I wish... leaves us with a bad taste in our mouths. It feels like we aren’t appreciating what we already have, it leaves us feeling dissatisfied with our life.

The simple phase of Wouldn’t it be nice, suggests to our lovely friend homestasis that we are playing a game with ourselves so we have a free pass to imagine new changes without trying to shift out of our usual day to day patterns. Instead our imagination lets go and we are taken to places we didn’t really let sink into our plans.

And then we let them go.

Let them go in a good way.

Now, it’s important not to let that little niggling voice in, the one that says “oh how could that happen?”

So, simply reply to it... “I’m just saying it would be nice. Let the universe figure out the hows.”

Because really, that’s the trick isn’t it. We are active components in this life. There are a million ways things can transpire. I mean, I was just hearing  a real life story of someone having a bag of money fall of a truck! It’s about alignment, not plans.

So, even if it’s as simple as having a more organized house, the simple phrase;

Wouldn’t it be nice if the house was more organized?

Acts like a genie as you can focus on what that feels like without effort.

Such a better feeling than...

I wish the house was cleaner.... (sigh)

Or

The house is always disorganized... I’m the one who always cleans up....  (ugh!!!!)

Wouldn’t it be nice if...

 Releases, relaxes and requests.

 And then allows you to see how it unfolds.

Mindfulness and Running on Empty

You want to know something really funny.

As someone who will be talking about mindfulness in parenting in the upcoming Get Happy Project (Which you should definitely sign up for!) ... as someone who coaches parents about mindful parenting and someone who writes, eats, sleeps, and parents... with mindfulness as a foundational philosophy....

I’ve rarely written about it on this blog. Sigh.

Life can be funny sometimes.

So, let’s talk about it here and now. What is mindfulness or does it go deeper than that?

There are so many ways I feel can describe a mindful living... or an aware living.

Living in awareness to Who We Really Are, allows us to bump our mindful practices up in the list of priorities. Being aware of who we are, is like knowing that there is this phenomenal room, a place of quiet, peace and a sense of everything we are, that when we enter it we know we will be refueled and refreshed.

It could also be described as the inner gas station.

If you are aware that there’s as gas station down the street, and you start to run out of petrol... you won’t hesitate in fueling up.

Self awareness, mindfulness is the process of filling up your tank or of retreating to your inner room so you can continue through your day as your truest self. It helps create patience, clarity, relief and joy.

But it also creates the space where you can feel the stress, acknowledge the tension and sense of overwhelment, and shift it around. Spiritual awareness and mindfulness don’t automatically create a happier existence rather it puts you back in the driver’s seat capable of putting focus on feeling better and finding calm, happiness and perspective.

So, what are some techniques for mindfulness? Well, first of all, finding the sense of awareness.

Awareness begins by simply observing yourself and learning who you are. What triggers your stress, what jumps you into appreciation, who are you when your eyes are closed and life quiets for a moment...

Meditation is about setting the stage for that observation.

Life is hectic, and fast and throw children and chores on top of it all and our heads can go, we spin out of control as we attempt to listen to everyone, play, organize, drive, and keep things flowing. We feel energies deplete and focus scatter... if we are aware enough to know how it feels.

Three simple steps to get started are;

Close your eyes.

 Breathe Deeply. 

Let the energy fall from your tense head, down through your body to your feet.

Repeat.

You become yourself... fully you. Mindful of you. Drawing yourself into the moment and becoming present.

And now, you can continue through the day. Simply by stopping like this, you are telling your true self “I know you are there. What would you do?” You are acknowledging your own mindfulness.

Mindful practice ranges in so many ways; from this sort of observation, to watching a sunset... or a sunrise, to a sitting meditation for a few moments, to a walking meditation, to dancing or singing, or shifting focus to a garden, music, or coloring... anything that achieves a space where you can be yourself and retreat to the inner room within your spiritual self. It is the key to your inner room, and from there, life flows more, solutions click into place and we perceive our children’s own inner workings with so much more clarity.

There is a golden moment when we drop into a space of ourselves. When we connect to our deeper source, our sense of divine and understand it to be a truer sense of ourselves and when that truer sense is driving the car of our family, we know we are all in safer hands and will go further...

Than if we hadn’t stopped to fuel up.

It’s not about having time or not. It’s not about bothering. Rather it’s about forming a habit like eating healthier to give your body energy, you are doing a spirit check to give your soul energy.

This is the foundational belief of mindful parenting... and Spiritual Aware Parenting.

And yes, sometimes we forget to fuel up. Sometimes we get stressed and run out of gas somewhere between overwhelmed and flipping out.

But if we’ve practiced the awareness of how we like to feel and how it feels to be Who We Really Are... we remember...

And we call ourselves back to ourselves, one breath at a time.

By the way... The Get Happy Project is going to be an incredible online summit, with guests specializing in a range of self care techniques and trainings. Definitely sign up and I'll see you there! :) 

Between Plans you find Help

So here’s the thing.

I was writing a little post... um ok, a rather long post... on sensitive children and tapping into their deeper essence, while offering tools for awareness to them... and then my computer had an issue and needed to restart. Post was lost. Yeah, sometimes I’m bad at saving drafts.

So, when I restarted and realized the post was no where I was faced with two options. Go back and re-type, or chalk it up as Someone telling me, the piece wasn’t working.

The piece wasn’t working. The ideas were there, the words were not. It’s been a bit of a week, with a son having some teeth issues and life being a little on the weird side. The writing spirits weren’t flowing and I knew it as I tried to plow on.

When it crashed there was a sense of relief. Now I can write inspired from something right here, right now.

Bloggers will tell you to plan a bit ahead. But most parents know, life is what happens between plans and that’s just the way it should be.

So, today, let’s talk about if something ain’t working, try a different angle.

And if you can’t fix it, open up to a solution.

It might have been just a blogpost, but really lately I’ve been consciously aware of how openness to life creates new opportunities in every direction and resistance, or pushing on something, is more prevalent than we think, and in the openness more examples are presenting themselves.

But the more we focus, push, try and force something into existence, the more we are screaming to the universe “I NEED THIS NOW!” And we all know how hard it is to give something to a whiny child. For some reason, when a child whines, we want to do the opposite to what they want.

Well, the universe feels the same. In fact, because we are screaming we NEED this or that... that’s what the universe hears “NEED”. So that’s what the universe gives. We just keep on needing it.

So, when things aren’t working, our spirit gets all cramped up and tries to send up a little nudge with the feeling of tension or stress. “stop,” she whispers “this isn’t the way.”

As we push forward, oozing the work out of ourselves like toothpaste from the tube, spirit sighs, and whispers “I’ll wait over here. Where it feels good.”

When we turn our attention from what’s giving us that hassle, when we stop the forcing, searching, stressing, worrying or simply needing, and focus instead on Openness, Spirit jumps up and says... “Now we can flow.”

When we feel better and release, we can rely on “fairy help” as one FB group member called it. The universal powers jump in behind us and say, “we’ve got you covered.”

And because we’re not focused on Need... we’re focused on Openness, freedom and presence,

We have an open window for solutions to flow in.

So, where does this come in with parenting?

Everywhere.

From sleepless nights to breastfeeding issues. From children getting into trouble to a messy house. To children taking parents for granted or teenagers worrying us sick.

Truly, we push buttons of NEED all over the place. The minute we stop, the other penny drops and solutions become focused.

We just have to remember it at each overwhelming time, each stressful moment.

Pressure and stress are our spirit’s way of saying “I can’t go there.”

Ironically the hardest part is the letting go. We are programmed to want to fix things and the more we want or try, the less we can.

It’s in the space of letting go that in-spirit-ation strikes and we suddenly feel a pull to the right action.

We struggle, flapping against the water as we feel ourselves sinking, but in the moment of floating and a bit of space, we are lifted and carried to shore.

Or we find that we were drowning in about an inch of water and we can stand up with ease.

Fairy help, universal flow, angels, Source. We can be problem focused or solution allowing.

Too Guilty to be Perfect

To the woman at the playground today. I’m sorry.

I know that it might have seemed like I was kind of staring at you and your daughter as you struggled with your young son in your ergo carrier, and she was struggling with putting on her shoes, and was scared of going back on her bike.

I know you felt like I was judging you, but I really wasn’t.

I know you were trying to get everything together because you were feeling embarrassed, but you really didn’t have to be.

I was only trying to see if there was any room for me to help. I was pondering if I would be interfering if I was to help your daughter tie her shoes... or help you do the strap on your ergo.

I was trying to let you know, we’ve all been there and that I know how frustrating it can be.

I was trying to send you love and hold space for you.

And yet, I could feel the guilt you felt and the sense of failing and wanting to flee the scene.

I wanted to tell you; We’ve all been there. You have nothing to flee from.

We’ve all had those moments. The “I’ve got to get home, my baby is getting hungry, I’ve got to make supper, and contact those people, and get to that meeting and oh, my god, why will she not get her shoes on...” moments.

We’ve all had to walk away to find peace.

So, the next time, you feel weird about being at the park and having one of those moments, don’t feel embarrassed or weird. Ask a mom for help, or trust that we’ve all been there. Know that it will get easier, and soon you’ll find the grove where you look at your older daughter and ask her to help with your straps and then you can help her with hers.

I wish I had been more articulate and said this to the young mom I saw at the park today. Having had the topic of guilt come up on the Spiritually Aware Parenting Facebook group this week and seeing how guilt taunts and haunts most of the members, it’s safe to say it torments all of us. Somewhere along the road of time we’ve learnt that we should be no less than perfect, and that with ever growing to-do lists, distractions, jobs, and studies about spending time and attention with our children, it never seems there’s enough time, let alone perfection.

So, we feel guilty for not being able to achieve the impossible.

Oh, and then we feel guilty for taking a few moments off from trying to be perfect.

We’ve got ourselves in quite the vibrational trap, don’t we?

And, as we find out more and more about what we “should” and what we “shouldn’t” be doing, and the more articles friends and family kindly tell us about to point out our misgivings the tighter we wind ourselves, and the more we lose sight of Who we Are... and the parent we really want to be.

We feel guilty if our house is messy, or if we haven’t spent time with our kids, guilty over being on too much screens, or not reading enough, guilty about cleaning too much and not playing enough, or playing too much and having dishes in the sink. We feel bad if we think our parents, neighbors, and strangers disapprove, but deep down know we need to approve of ourselves and so we feel bad because we don’t even know what we feel is the right course any more.

 Phew. With such a tug of war on our attention it’s no wonder we have problems focusing.

And so, it’s time to call a truce. It’s time to forgive ourselves, clear the space in our hearts and minds and truly decide what’s important to ourselves and our families... guilt free. Guilt free so we can feel what our Spirits, our Source and our sense of selves are trying to tell us what to do. Guilt free so we can feel our way to the right solutions.

And Guess what? We’re going to do it together. I’ve got a few things to sort out and then I’ve got some big announcements to be made. Here's the link to the first step!

I can tell you right now that May and June of 2016 are destined to be exciting months, liberating months, which will release you from guilt and into a space of intuitive clarity and authentic concepts of the real “shoulds” in your life. So you can enjoy your children’s play without feeling bad about dishes, and enjoy your thoughts when doing chores, without feeling guilty for something else. We’ll even clear guilt of taking some self care time, where you and yourself can spend some time together, without feeling like it’s too large of luxury.

Stay tuned. (I can’t express how excited I am!)

The Blame Game

Reconsider what you are saying when the sentence starts with the word “You”.

I told this to my children early on and hold it as a personal principle.

Why? Because, words hurt, but also the way we use those words, the tone and order we place them, conveys meaning and intention deeper than we can imagine. As a writer and energy sensitive person I feel words deeply and value how they make me and others feel... especially when it involves loved ones.

“You hurt me.” “You made a mess.” “You’re too loud.”

On an energy place these phrases feel so off, so targeted and separated.

The meaning can easily be expressed without the feeling of judgement.

“I got hurt.” “This is messy.” “Let’s be quiet.”

Ah... so much better.

And it can work with naming others as well.

This came up in a FB thread I was part of last week. A woman couldn’t understand her husband taking offense and feeling unsupported whenever he tried to deal with their son’s tantrums. He always did it in a way that rubbed the woman the wrong way and she would always tell her son, in front of the dad...
“I know Daddy upset you and hurt your feelings. He wants you to come to dinner. I know you want to play.” Ouch.

Pronouns can be used to build and support... or crush and demoralize, especially if we have hidden resentment or anger towards the other person. Their name, or the infamous YOU, can serve as a dagger, without any fingerprints.

“Imagine rephrasing it, so it didn’t paint anyone as the bad guy.” I wrote the woman. “Imagine saying... I know you want to keep playing, but we are having dinner now. I’m sorry if you got hurt feelings, we just need you to come to the table. We’ll play together after.”

No accusations, no mixed messages to their son, no guilt, judgement, or criticism. Maybe not as satisfying, but definitely more loving.

Just the “Royal We!” As someone commented. Yes, “we” resonates so much better.

But when we are used to the blame game how do we find the alternative? How do we shift from the place of accusation, when we feel it is simply taking the blame on ourselves?

We shout “why should I take on the blame when it’s not my fault?”

By simply choosing to radiate love instead and removing fault all together.

State the situation, say how you feel about something, but by removing the blame, you keep mistakes, simply that; mistakes, missteps, learning experiences.

Imagine when you were little and you were doing something you probably shouldn’t be and suddenly you break a family heirloom... or a vase from the dollar store, whichever. You feel badly enough, and silently decide you should have been more careful. You’ve helped clear it up, said sorry to your mom or dad, and learnt from the experience.

Then someone else asks about the vase and you hear... “(your name) broke it.”

You feel sick, guilty and un-forgiven. You will never live it down.

All it would have taken is “It got broken.”

Hearing that, you would still feel responsible, you would reconfirm your promise to take more care... but you wouldn’t carry the shame for life, just the lesson.

Also, imagine being the parent, and feeling the words pass through your lips. It simply feels better to let go of the blame, and stay general.

When we follow our hearts and joy we realize it’s better to feel happy than right. Pointing out who is doing what falls low on the feeling good list, just as the feeling we have to make our children feel small for them to be controlled. Simply altering a few simple words can make it about learning, or working together, vs control, blame and laying guilt.

“YOU”... or the accusing name blame game... replaced with a general situation explanation.

Is the difference between our children being raised with insecurities or self awareness.