Mantras For Mommas- a guest post and free coloring pages!

I am so to be excited to be able to present this guest blog with you. When I connected with Elly we were eager to find a way to share her work of a specially created a Mantras For Mommas Coloring

Book and Journal and she has generously included 2 pages from the book in this post.
You can download them from here
The following post is by Elly Blanco Rowe... and it embraces so many elements we usually discuss here. I'm excited to see what a perfect fit this is.
Be well and enjoy.

My goodness, as parents we are stressed and stretched beyond belief. We set these unrealistic expectations for ourselves and others. I say we because I have done the same. I grew up believing everything had to be a certain way for the outcome to be perfect. It took me a long time to figure out there is no perfect result.

We raise our children in the best way that we can but at the end of the day our toddlers will still have tantrums at the most inappropriate time our preteens will roll their eyes at us, and our teenagers will leave home to create their life.

Our children grow, and we grow with them.

After starting my coaching business, I knew that I wasn’t alone in thinking I was a horrible mother. I wasn’t alone in believing that I could no longer do for myself because my children came first. My thinking was wrong, but I knew I wasn’t alone in thinking this way.

As I brainstormed the details for my coloring book, Mantras for Mommas, I thought about all the challenging moments we face as women/mothers and all the negative conversations we have with ourselves. I realized that women don’t take time out for themselves to rest and rejuvenate because our primary concern is our children.

Yes, we need to care for our children. Yes, we need to make sure they are healthy and happy but who refills our love bucket? Who makes sure that our needs are met? Who makes certain that we are happy?

Well, I quickly realized that we need to do this for ourselves. When we do focus on loving ourselves, promoting positive self-talk and creating moments that fill our love bucket, we feel more in control of our lives so that we can make better choices.

In Mantras for Mommas - A Coloring Book and Journal, I share with you over 40 pages of images with affirmations that align with what women who are mothers face in their daily lives. The affirmations are meant to counteract the negative messages we tell ourselves while giving us a creative outlet to express our feelings. I am sharing with you two free pages for you to try:

Affirmation: “Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful.”

Affirmation: “There is no such thing as a perfect mom, but I am their perfect mom.”

I want you to use these affirmations to remind yourself that the word perfect only holds the definition we give it. What I mean is that being perfect in this world doesn’t exist, we only exist in our version of perfect lives. A perfect life for you can mean having a messy house, but tons of fun at the playground, or it can mean being a working mom who spends 3 hours of solid quality time with her children. You define what perfect means for you.

After you print your image, set aside 20 minutes for yourself. Get out your favorite coloring tools and sit in a space that allows you to be reflective. Take a deep breathe and release your breath into the page. Before you start to color, read the affirmation at the top of the page. Allow the message to sit with you for a minute or two, then begin coloring. As you color, repeat the messaging to yourself so that it vibrates with your soul as you color.

I hope you enjoy these pages. I would love to see your creations unfold; please send me pictures of your artwork to elly@chooseyoulove.com. I will post them on Instagram and my website.

The Pursuit of Spiritually Aware Parenting

Someone asked me today what my “goal” is in the work I do, and an image flashed across my mind.

It was a pregnant mother to be walking into a spiritual bookstore in Glastonbury over in the UK.

The woman was me.

14 years ago, my husband and I were expecting our first daughter and like some excited school girl I danced into every bookstore I could find, looking for that tool, that golden compass which would help me find the spiritual path I knew pregnancy could be. Up until that point, I’d avidly gobbled up every spiritual book I could find. Before meeting my husband, I’d Marianne Williamson’d, Deepak’d and Dyer’d. I had gone old school with holy books and philosophy leaders and on the flip side, had watched Oprah until the sun went down. I’d even been a screenwriter for a spiritual television

program for children. Spirituality coursed through my veins and I’d met my husband through the most spiritual connection I’d ever experienced, using connection, the law of attraction and intuition.

It seemed like pregnancy should be the same. It felt like parenthood was a holy rite to be passed though and I wanted to meditate through labor and teach yoga to her before she could walk. She would be enlightened and know all the tools I’d been gathering for years, so her life would be golden.

But, I hadn’t counted on the fear, socially inflicted doubt and the fact that my life had sped up and I already felt I was running out of time!

I felt rushed as each trimester passed...I talked and read what I could find but I felt I would never have the quiet I craved and the more I craved it, the more I didn’t know how to savor it when I found it. I felt like a runaway train was behind me that hollered “She’s coming soon and you aren’t lined up yet. Line Up!”

My feeble attempts to have small rituals or make things sacred for our daughter, were done for my own outward show, trying to convince my fearful heart that I would “get it right”, while I really felt that  I really didn’t know what I was doing, or who she was, or who I was going to be as a mom. I wanted to enjoy that time... but it was flying by and tainted with morning sickness. I felt like I was having a shadow experience of something I wanted with all my heart.

I sometimes felt so guilty for feeling like I was failing her and she hadn’t even been born yet.

And so, I wandered into bookstores, looking for the book that hadn’t been written.

And I kept aimlessly looking for a couple of years.

2 daughters later I decided it was time to slow down and tap into the inner resources I’d known all along was within me, but I’d been too nervous to look before. I’d have to dig deeper than I ever had. I’d have to be vulnerable and push back the veil.

For some reason, I thought that parenting was something everyone had figured out already, and I should play by the rules. I might have found true love across the ocean by mere instinct and without any dating experience like everyone else. but parenting... surely I was safest following other people’s lead.

But I finally got it. I couldn’t play a role and feel authentic to myself. I couldn’t have the spiritual experience while pretending to be something else. Trying made no sense. My girls, my husband and I were going to have to live a different story. The veil had to be pulled back. The real me had to emerge.

And so it began... oh it was shaky for awhile I can tell you. The philosophy had to be invented as going, and with a daughter who had iron will, I fell back into old habits more than not. I screamed, I shouted, I guilted and I even shamefully spanked as my own reaction to the lack of control and dictatorship I had (I mean everyone else said I should be in control, was I really supposed to give that up?)

But little by little I remembered Who I was... and who I wanted to be. I remembered I was connected when I felt good, and if fighting felt bad, it wasn’t good.

So I started passing on tools to the girls as I practiced them again for myself. Exercises, games, stories, anything that could offer them emotional awareness. Homeschooling provided us with the best platform for emotional awareness lessons and life tools.

And then I got pregnant with our son.

I went back and redid pregnancy, the way I had wanted to in the first place.  I rewrote the experience and connected to the source within my son by 16 weeks. He was my eyes and ears to how the pregnancy was going. It was enlightened.

Everything rolled together and kept rolling. Our girls were learning how to feel, and to follow their hearts. They became sensitive to how the law of attraction brought in what they were feeling. They became in awe of the world around them, and integrated spirit and magic into near enough everything. The world made sense on a deeper level for them. They did yoga, and learnt how to meditate....

Scratch that... they’d always known how to be the incredible spirits that they are.

Along with our son, they taught me how to allow and move through stages rather than force them.

Behaviour became an indicator of how they were feeling about themselves not how “bad” they were and my stress was a sign that I needed to connect to ME, not to find fault in Them.

There wasn’t any pressure to pass on wisdom, I got to learn some. I got to play more, I got to laugh more.

Life finally slowed down and I could enjoy it feeling fulfilled and authentically me.

And that’s my goal for my work. I want for as many of you as possible to find ease in the chaos and speed of the day. I want you to feel so much deeper than the routine and daily chores. I want to empower children to look for the deeper route in life and to have emotional awareness, knowing themselves so they can navigate through it all. I want love, laughter and ease for everyone.

Is that too much to ask? Maybe. But not too much to try.

Its right around the corner, you know? Just pull aside the veil and see what’s there.

One Small Shift

Today, I want to talk about the small shifts that equal bigger changes and how this affects our parenting and our children. So often, especially in our off moments, in our times of disconnection, we see things that can be better within our family element.... we see things we wish would change in our children, be it their bedtime or the interaction between siblings or the communication between us and them. Maybe it’s screen time... or scream time.  No matter what it is... as our children grow, things change and in those changes its best to be as conscious as we can, so we can create the journey, not drive blindfolded.

The secret lies in the energy of Who We Are... who our Children are and the, sort of, build up that occurs throughout our days. Let’s call it vibrational plague.

We all form habits, in my family we form them quickly, habits of routine, of activity, of certain foods we eat regularly, or even games played, or television shows watched even just the stories we tell ourselves. One of my daughters will text a friend regularly, another one will be more on games than school apps... both things can make them feel antsy and on edge. These things can be looked at as no big deal. It’s summer, things are up in the air... we’ve all had a hectic time what with traveling etc.  We all get edgey . We’re unwinding.

But often things build... and it doesn’t necessarily make it bad, just something to be aware of. Because when things build and suddenly pop up on the surface and we really notice that we need a change we can flip and worry and almost panic that life has gone crazy and out of control.

 But a little shift is often all it takes.

Yes, it can be a shift in our perspective for sure. That’s always the first place to start because if we are in a panic about how life is flowing there’s no way to get it to flow. If we are so busy noticing the things that aren’t working... we’ll never notice the things that are. So, first shift is to trust. Trust the offness and trust that because everyone’s felt off, or gone a few steps in a direction away from who they really are... they will know themselves so much more. That the offness increases the vibrancy of the Connection.

And then do something ridiculously simple.

Change something.

Wake up at a different time. Eat outside. Put on fun music throughout the house. Move around furniture. Go out to a new restaurant or a new park or a new route to school.

A shift starts with us. No one can change if we can’t. Habits are simply patterns we get used to.

Or we don’t.

Something happens in the little shifts. Everyone notices them... or rather everyone feels them. And with that change in energy a ripple effect occurs. The Law of Attraction kicks in... joy kicks in and everything feels different.

People put down devices and dance instead.... or they smell new smells, taste new tastes.

The energy of the house changes and with that, old patterns just don’t fit the same way anymore.

Only you can find the energy shift that matches your particular circumstance (although you can always ask for help in finding it. You are never alone, remember) You can feel your way to a little shift.

It’s a whole lot easier than trying to fix it all at once.

And then I’d love to hear the story of how life opens up and you and your family step into the new with that first step.

3 Steps to Trigger Mindfulness

Last week I was being interviewed on Katie Flores Get Happy Project and we were talking on the subject of mindfulness. An interesting point came up which I wanted to officially clear up here.

It’s not always easy... and once you get it.. you won’t always do it... and that’s alright.

As many of you know, I offer a free guide on my site, and here on this blog, called How to Push the Reset Button... it’s basically 4 (ok... spoilers... 5!) easy steps to find your connection in chaos.

It’s a simple process on paper. But not necessarily in practice. From a space of calm, logging off, letting go, listening, and loving.. it all sounds logical and natural.

However, throw yourself in the middle of a 2 year old tantrum when you are running late already.

It’s a bit like telling someone swimming is a breeze in the middle of a storm.

Our natural state is to be balanced, grounded and spiritually aware. But tempers rise when we are feeling unlike ourselves... when we are in an un-natural feeling space... so although the process of pushing the reset button is there to provide steps to get you back to yourself... You have to find the reminder to use them in the first place.

Imagine a gap between you as your greater version of you; The bigger than this body you.

And the physical experience as You.

The physical experience has the temper, the reactions, the “I’m going to panic” “I’m overwhelmed” “Can’t stop from flipping” experiences (as well as the good stuff... don’t forget the good stuff)

In a positive experience, positive emotion, the gap between the dual versions of you is really small, you experience the joy together.... as positive spirit, the greater version of you is happy to be by your side.

But then a stressful experience occurs... or your thoughts start chattering with a negative focus.

Spirit says... sorry... no can do. I can’t go there with you.

And the gap widens.

The trick is to remember the gap. (Mind the Gap... gives trips on the London Tube a very different meaning!)

For when you find yourself surrounded in chaos, and you remember the gap, that’s when you can find your way back to the fuller YOU, you push the reset button, you find new focus, you go to your inner room and you laugh. Does that make sense?

But how to remember the gap????

Here’s my top 3 big Flashing Red Lights you can put in place.

1)      A physical representation of yourself... something that every time you see or hear, or touch you feel connected to your fullest version of yourself. A piece of jewelry, a crystal in your pocket, a token from your children or from a spiritual journey... anything that upon sight you remember yourself and within that... remember the gap. I once knew someone who actually made a picture of what made her feel awesome and put it as the lock screen on her phone... Depending how much you use your cell... that’s awesome!

2)      The sky. Looking upward immediately reminds us to connect to something so much larger than our own experience... and in that larger universe we find the larger version of ourselves. Mountains, fields, trees can do the same. I have my moon. She has been kind and kept me connected even through my son’s birth.

3)      A mantra, or affirmational phrase... or tune. Om... humming... or something like “I am more than this experience” or “within me lies my own happiness and light.” When repeated often, or trained to be a regular focus, this can become a habitual state of being... so habitual, that when we disconnect, and get stressed, we can feel the shift more strongly, and then consciously guide ourselves back.

It may be a logical statement to ask how these reminders can remind us to connect, if we have to remember to do the reminders! But the thing is that these simple steps can easily be worked into life, even when you  are feeling wonderfully, exhilaratingly like yourself. When you find the little tokens of motions that symbolize you as everything you are, it feels amazing to practice them, sing them, play with them, focus on them. It raises life up to the point that when you aren’t in the space of doing them, you feel disconnection so intensely and that’s that little reset button push.

Awareness to how you feel is truly where it’s all at.. and the feeling of being mindful to Who You Really Are... ohhh... it’s a blissful state of infinite possibilities.

If you haven’t gotten your free copy of the guide, you can find it over here.

Between Plans you find Help

So here’s the thing.

I was writing a little post... um ok, a rather long post... on sensitive children and tapping into their deeper essence, while offering tools for awareness to them... and then my computer had an issue and needed to restart. Post was lost. Yeah, sometimes I’m bad at saving drafts.

So, when I restarted and realized the post was no where I was faced with two options. Go back and re-type, or chalk it up as Someone telling me, the piece wasn’t working.

The piece wasn’t working. The ideas were there, the words were not. It’s been a bit of a week, with a son having some teeth issues and life being a little on the weird side. The writing spirits weren’t flowing and I knew it as I tried to plow on.

When it crashed there was a sense of relief. Now I can write inspired from something right here, right now.

Bloggers will tell you to plan a bit ahead. But most parents know, life is what happens between plans and that’s just the way it should be.

So, today, let’s talk about if something ain’t working, try a different angle.

And if you can’t fix it, open up to a solution.

It might have been just a blogpost, but really lately I’ve been consciously aware of how openness to life creates new opportunities in every direction and resistance, or pushing on something, is more prevalent than we think, and in the openness more examples are presenting themselves.

But the more we focus, push, try and force something into existence, the more we are screaming to the universe “I NEED THIS NOW!” And we all know how hard it is to give something to a whiny child. For some reason, when a child whines, we want to do the opposite to what they want.

Well, the universe feels the same. In fact, because we are screaming we NEED this or that... that’s what the universe hears “NEED”. So that’s what the universe gives. We just keep on needing it.

So, when things aren’t working, our spirit gets all cramped up and tries to send up a little nudge with the feeling of tension or stress. “stop,” she whispers “this isn’t the way.”

As we push forward, oozing the work out of ourselves like toothpaste from the tube, spirit sighs, and whispers “I’ll wait over here. Where it feels good.”

When we turn our attention from what’s giving us that hassle, when we stop the forcing, searching, stressing, worrying or simply needing, and focus instead on Openness, Spirit jumps up and says... “Now we can flow.”

When we feel better and release, we can rely on “fairy help” as one FB group member called it. The universal powers jump in behind us and say, “we’ve got you covered.”

And because we’re not focused on Need... we’re focused on Openness, freedom and presence,

We have an open window for solutions to flow in.

So, where does this come in with parenting?

Everywhere.

From sleepless nights to breastfeeding issues. From children getting into trouble to a messy house. To children taking parents for granted or teenagers worrying us sick.

Truly, we push buttons of NEED all over the place. The minute we stop, the other penny drops and solutions become focused.

We just have to remember it at each overwhelming time, each stressful moment.

Pressure and stress are our spirit’s way of saying “I can’t go there.”

Ironically the hardest part is the letting go. We are programmed to want to fix things and the more we want or try, the less we can.

It’s in the space of letting go that in-spirit-ation strikes and we suddenly feel a pull to the right action.

We struggle, flapping against the water as we feel ourselves sinking, but in the moment of floating and a bit of space, we are lifted and carried to shore.

Or we find that we were drowning in about an inch of water and we can stand up with ease.

Fairy help, universal flow, angels, Source. We can be problem focused or solution allowing.

A Lesson in Energy for Quick Relief

One of the tools I find the most helpful in finding quick connection I found through learning Energy healing a few years ago. In fact, my daughters took the course with me as well, and I’ve witnessed how they interweave the teachings through their lives. The idea of grounding themselves, or observing their own energy blocks has been an incredible tool for self awareness.

But, I digress. The information and practice of increasing flow of energy is something I often pass on to clients and they’ve often mentioned how much it has helped them through their days.

So, I wanted to share it with all of you today.

We are energy beings. If you’ve heard of chakras then you know we have energy points through our bodies which, when aligned and with a clear path keep us as perfect conduits between the earth and spirit. We are spiritual, physical and emotional expressed through energy.

Its often taught that we can align our energy from our core root chakra, near the base of our spine and then focus upwards, clearing each chakra or energy point along the way.

However, I usually offer this...

As a society we spend so much time in our heads. Over the past 15 years we have become about information over physical expression. As the saying goes, “where attention goes, energy flows...”

So, in that case, our energy is stored in our heads, resulting in overstress, headaches, brain chatter and over thinking.

You know that snowballing feeling, when things build and build, thought upon thought? It starts with a little seed of something and then suddenly you feel like the world is falling upon your shoulders. Well, its a clear sign that energy needs to flow elsewhere.

But the ironic part of that is when you are in your thoughts you resist not thinking, or focusing on something else. Rather, the snowball continues, asking you to figure out “what should I think about to stop all this thinking?”

And I reply.... “focus on your feet.”

Sounds silly, I know. But, by shifting your attention to your feet, wiggling your toes, circling your ankles, soaking them in a tub or simply thinking about the feeling of the floor beneath them, you are drawing attention away from your head and allowing your energy to move down to the earth... through your central core. You are officially grounding yourself.

Imagine how this feels when you are running around, stressed out, juggling schedules lunches, phone calls and children’s shouts for help.

Breathe, relax, FEET. Sigh.

It really does work.

For those who have worked with me or been on my page for awhile, you might have heard me talk about the elevator meditation, which is a technique to bring your attention down to your ground level. To watch a video showing how to use it over at my channel.

The simple process of guiding your consciousness from your top floor, floor ten, around your head, and counting backwards, imagining an inner elevator shaft through your centre, helps you become aware of where your energy is.

You can feel your attention shift to floor 6 around your heart.

And then move down to 4 around your navel.

But then you get distracted and you think about something you have to do... back to floor 10.

Finally you find your moment in the present. Floor 1. Ground floor. Relax.

The more you practice this short meditation, the easier you find where you are on your core shaft , the more you sense your essence and how grounded you are. You can literally find what floor you are at within moments.

As energy beings we create through focus. Things go well when we are aligned with Who We Really Are and when we are grounded in the present moment, so the first key to being true to ourselves and being a spiritually aware parent is to find that inner sense of energy, and help it flow.

I love passing these sort of quick centering techniques onto clients.

 If you haven’t yet, please visit my website for more information and quick techniques to feeling better!

TAKING THE STRESS OUT OF THE HOLIDAYS

Well, it’s been a busy year for me and there’s something about December that always makes me feel like I need to wrap up a year well; like a present.

So, I made myself one.

I’d promised myself that this year I was going to make my first course. It started off as going to be a course for the online platform Udemy, but then I decided, what with some travel happening and new plans, that a simple audio course would be easier and would flow more.
 People were starting to talk about Holiday stress and how they didn’t feel comfortable around family and friends, how they didn’t feel the holidays reflected their true selves, and Ta Da! The course topic was found.

Writing it in the back of our car during our inspired roadtrip to Winnipeg MB, and then recording it once we found the suitable studio when we got into town, its been a whirlwind experiment, but one I’m proud of.

The course is broken up in 3 sections.

You. Other People. And your Children. And how those three elements can be stressed focused during the Holiday Season.

The Course then offers tips and tools, meditations, processes and exercises to tap into your higher self, and trust your inner wisdom. It offers dig deep exercises that help you discover how you REALLY feel about stuff, and then helps you pivot around those “niggly” people that make you feel crappy, even though you haven’t done anything wrong. Actually the entire middle section is dedicated to finding your centre at family dinners or work events. And then there’s the section on Your Children, how to help them connect and stay true to themselves, how to hear them, under the hysteria, how to enjoy the magic moments and see it through their eyes, rather than rushing through for the something bigger.

Throughout there’s reset buttons and tools for The Law of Attraction, as well as meditations and energy work.

It’s a pretty full Holiday Toolbox. With a workbook included.

But it was only finished, what with one thing and another, the first week of December.

That could be a little crazy... or silly... for a course about the holidays.

But I do tell everyone to just trust.... go with the flow... follow the downstream option which carries you to how it’s all meant to be.

So, the course, that is usually set at $77 for the rest of the year, has a bit of a twist.

Sign up for the newsletter to the side of this post, and you get a code  for 75% off.

Which makes it $19.25

I love seeing how things turn out don’t you? And I love having everyone on my FB page and newsletter involved and the Spiritually Aware Parenting community able to grow together.

So, I hope you check this new venture of mine out.

The purpose is to create a holiday season which will be filled with joyful, awe-inspiring, moments (like the ones you used to have as a kid) and to use that as an attraction point for a brilliant new year. Its meant for you... and I’m so happy to be able to offer it to you this month for under $20!

Anyway, let me know what you think of it... I’ll be working on another course soon and could do with any feedback.

You can find it at

http://christinafletcher.bandcamp.com/album/taking-the-stress-out-of-the-holidays

BUT SIGN UP FOR THE NEWSLETTER FIRST!!!!!

(either in the sidebar beside this post or at http://spirituallyawareparenting.com/special-gifts.html )

And as you never know how life will flow.... just in case.

Happy, Stress Free, Holidays. Relax, breathe, let go and love!