Do you have your hand on the hot stove?

When I was starting my positive parenting path over 10 years ago it coincided with my discovery of the teachings of Abraham Hicks… and the the concept of taking your hand off the hot stove really transformed my way of thinking.

When I first was introduced to the work of Abe and Esther, my husband and I ordered a CD of theirs (yeah… remember ordering CDs?). We listened to it so often that I can still hear some of it word for word in my head….

“We just want to encourage you to take your hand off the stove. But you say ‘ I can’t. My mother put her hand on the stove, her mother put her on the stove… it’s just what we do. The day I was born they told me to put my hand on the stove.” And we say, try it. And you sigh and say ‘it is sweet relief to take my hand off the stove. But who am I to take my hand off, when even my government and world has their hands on the stove?’ we say, put your hand back on the stove if you want to, but now you know that you have the choice.”

What’s the stove? Pressure. Struggle. Stress. The perception that life has to be hard, that success has to be achieved, that we have to push to get what we want.
That parenting has to be a painful journey with a lot of heartache… and our children will end up rebelling against us. That we have to control them, or cajole them to be the people we want them to be. (blech!)

We can take our hands off that stove of struggle, of pain. 
What I love about this image is the actual relief it sparks within me. I imagine having my hand in pain and then just lifting it off. I don’t need to pry it with all my might. I don’t need to push. I just need to remember that I have what it takes to just lift my hand out of the fire. I have what it takes to breathe deep and be. But I still forget. I still put it right back on there

What Abraham forgets to mention, is that as physical people, we also have neural pathways that pull us back into our old patterns. Each morning, as if on cue, we will get out of bed and put our hands back on that stove, unless we put some tools in place to remind ourselves that each day can be different. We can make a different choice.
Yesterday I posted a video in the group about how complaining literally becomes part of us and how gratitude (appreciation) breaks the pathways of negative perspective.
But it does take that choice of lifting our hands off of the high pressure world, in fact, making that choice each day, is really all it takes.

I remember when I was in theatre school, I would sit listening to what the teacher would tell us our project was or what was expected from us. I remember thinking “nah… I can’t even imagine myself doing that.” And then within a few weeks I’d be doing stage-fighting, or climbing 20ft scaffolding, or reciting some long piece of Shakespeare prose. I soon learned that it was just about jumping in and not pushing against it, and taking the step by step path before me. I’d get there in the end.

This reminds me of the concept of “headlights”… that when you drive at night you can only see a few feet in front of you with the help of your headlights, and yet you always end up at your destination. This is so true in life…
Sometimes, the only step that’s clear is to take your hand off of the hot stove.

This is such a valuable perspective for the end of the year, when we can just find that relief, even if everything around us is busy. Focus on headlights, focus on love, light and relief. You’ll get there in the end.

All I want for the Holidays

You know what I want for Christmas this year?

I want fun.

I want to have a lightness to life and let it flow through my core. I want to giggle and to have belly laughs, like my son can still. I want to goof around, and be silly. It’s not like I stopped being silly on purpose, somewhere  I just thought I got too busy. But that’s ridiculous, isn’t it?

When people describe me, I often get “positive” and “cheerful” in the description... I think I once got “bubbly”... which I thought was kinda neat although... maybe a little concerning! But sometimes, I forget to let that feeling really drop. I forget to let the thoughts actually vibrate... well at a bubbly level. I think we all do this, we skim through life’s offerings ... never fully experiencing the feeling, which can make life kinda bland. It stops the belly laughs, really.

It’s like when I try to figure out if the presents I’m buying my kids are all fairly distributed, and rather than sitting down with pen and paper in hand to figure it out, I try to mentally think about that as well as everything else... the feeling space turns stressful, because it’s unfocused and unfelt. Rather than fun, because I could be really savouring the joy of giving.

 Mindfulness creates focus, but its circular, as it also comes with focus.

I had the most wondrous realisation the other day. I’m married to the love of my life. I dreamt of meeting him since I was 5, and now we’ve been married for 15 years. Woah! How did that happen? Not only that, but I’m a mom to my dream kids, and I get to come up with ways to pass on spirituality to them and share them with other parents, I get to talk practical spirituality and relationships and parenting with people all across the world daily. I get to write and express myself and I live in a world that I can share that in a click of a button. I get to show up as me. I need to let that sink in finally, rather than chasing it, because I haven’t actually realised it.

So often I talk with parents and they talk about being more present in their parenting, and I think coming to terms with this kind of realisation is a big key to that.

Look at what you’ve got, and decide to claim it. Let it sink in.

Appreciate the moment, and know it will change, and most likely get even better, but what you’ve put out for has come to this point, which will bring forth more asking. So, appreciate what you already have in front of you, and let your heart fill and your energy ground you to the floor in the awe of it all.

Because appreciation can be one of those skimming thoughts, can’t it?

We can list off what we have, like a grocery list, and check them off, almost scared that truly appreciating them, loving them to our core, will make us too vulnerable.

Oh, that’s deep, right?

Love makes us vulnerable.

I remember, when my husband and I first met, we felt so vulnerable, because we thought we could lose each other. We could almost feel ourselves pull back out of the fear of not having each other.

How many other things do we do that with? How much of life do we skim over, not wanting to drop into it completely for fear of missing it if it goes away?

So, what’s the point of this letter?

Well, in these darker days of winter, and as winter holidays approach, I want to encourage you to do two things...

Savour those in front of you and let the loving of them, fill you up from your toes. Don’t just make lists about being grateful for them, rather let yourself Feel the love of for each item on that list, let the list build, so you feel elated.

Second thing is, let any stress go and have some fun! It’s time to feel wonderful, it’s time to enjoy the little things, really enjoy them, and it’s time to embrace feeling good! And Live it up.

Imagine for one moment, if the vibration we collectively carried into the New Year was one of Joy.

What would that feel like as a community?

I guess we'll have to wait to see. 

Oh by the way, I’m working on a free video challenge to start the new year off in a feeling good place, I’ll be letting you know more details closer to the date, but I really hope you can join me.

 I think we should all go into 2017 feeling good about ourselves and our families. <3

What does your Spirit feel about Holiday Sales and Shopping?

If your inbox is anything like mine today... wowzers!

I was trying to figure out when this whole “black Friday” thing began, but then if it wasn’t one mad scurry sale it’s another one, so that shouldn’t be the focus.

The focus should be how it feels.

Over on the Facebook group today I mentioned that there’s a huge point made about materialism and spirituality. I’ve witnessed it growing up so many times that people teeter totter between wanting to be “spiritual”... and then feel guilty if they get excited over an item of clothing or piece of electronic equipment. The same imbalance comes in us not wanting our children being focused on toys or “stuff” but come the holidays we’ve all got presents in the back of our minds...

We’ll most of us do anyway.

So where does it settle in modern spirituality? What does “buying” look like to our spirits?

Like I said, it depends on how it feels.

Emotions, along with instincts and inner guidance, are the language of our spirit. As Positive Energy when we feel good it indicated the connection to all we really are... when we feel stressed, upset, frustrated or angry, that shows we need to change our perspective and focus to reconnect to Who We Are as Spirit.

So, if the “buying” or “bargain hunt” is fueled by fun; if it’s excited, joyful and eager... then Spirit is right there, enjoying the season and the experience. (I know... Spiritual shopping, what is better than that?!)

But, the minute it gets stressful, or overwhelming; when it gets noisy or you feel yourself drained of energy and focus.... you’re being told to stop, retreat and find connection to your inner self.

Yeah, it really is that easy. When we watch how we feel we can actually feel our spirit guiding us, telling us when to stop and connect, when to buy, when to not, simply by watching what feels good.

And it never fails. Listen to that emotional guidance and you’ll be led to exactly what you need when you need it, and it will be a joyful ride getting there.

As an example, I’ve been meaning to be more active on my instagram more lately, as a way to share more and provide more tools for connection... but our house is a wifi free zone so it’s been impossible.

Well, on a sale memo today I got notified of a new tool which will make it easy to meet you on there without leaving my computer. I guess I had quietly made the request, and the answer found its way to me with a price that made it even more exciting and easy to see the right path to take.

Also, I wasn’t planning on taking part in any “Holiday Sale” items. As a coach I didn’t really know what it meant. But then, suddenly out of nowhere, yesterday I felt like putting some things together, so I did, for the fun of it. I think they were probably meant for some of you and I was getting the indicator to put it out there, so if you feel good about checking them out, you can do so here. 

They will be up until Monday unless they go before then. (10 enrollments of Spiritual Kids are on special from its current special and there’s coaching and book deals as well.)

Following your emotional guidance is so vital during this time of year. It may feel illogical or like there are too many things to “do”, but trust me when I say, it gets done so much better when you look within to just see if it “feels” right.

November Stresses and Preparations

And November is here.

There’s something suspended about November. Something that feels hesitant and expectant. I don’t know about you, but there’s always part of me that feels like I should be doing something, but I’m unclear what that is. And it’s always worse for my children.

I just sat down with my daughters with the homeschooling “What do we need to do before the end of the year?” conversation. Personally, I like knowing my end of year goal, it creates focus and intention. My eldest, well she wasn’t exactly happy about it. She’d rather have a further goal... say Spring. Knowing where she is headed with a little more distance creates more clarity.

I think that’s because, although the end of the year feels like a strong intention, it’s always interrupted with the big issue of Holidays. Winter holidays always seem to create a gray area, and for many that gray area starts in November.

What is it about a certain period of time that suggests we need to get certain things done by certain dates? Why do we add to-do lists to our already busy days and feel pressure to meet certain traditional criteria for things like Thanksgiving or Christmas? What’s even more baffling is the idea of tradition to pass it on to our children. We want to create good holiday memories for them, or at least we feel like we “should”. However, looking back at our own holiday memories growing up, they are often ripe with stress and everyone running around like headless chickens. It was after it was all done, the peace that followed the storm, that we smile back at.

There’s a lot of stress that comes at this time of year... and probably more stress and anxiety this year, as for many the holidays are following what may be one of the more stressful weeks in current American History. This week is election week, which seems to bombard our newsfeeds and conversations alike, and once the dust has slightly settled, American Thanksgiving will be picking up speed. Of course, 4 weeks after that we’re looking at Christmas, Winter Solstice, Hanukah, and other celebrations... only to collapse into a New Year relief.

It’s not just us who can feel the stress build up. Our children sense it in the air. They sense anticipation for something that is supposed to be exciting. They sense it in the fear over political events and they sense it within us, as our schedules build up and we start to feel pressure from unclear things. It’s important to create a strong foundation for our family. One founded in love not fear, and also founded in the present moment, not in future events. Life is each moment of our lives. That is what our children remember and that is what gives them the tools to create a happy life for themselves.

This month I have a lot to offer you and I hope that they will help you create a seamless blend of foundational tools for you and for your children as well as offer you the opportunity to start laying the groundwork for incredible Intentions for 2017.

First, last year’s audio course is back to being available until November 21^st. Then it will be locked back into the vault until next year. You can find it here.

Secondly, I am offering you a free 3 part video course next week on Passing Spiritual Tools onto our Children. I thought it would be fun to share with you some simple tips and tools on passing some awareness and clarity on to your children, now when it can be such a muddled and mixed feeling kind of time.  You can sign up here!

Sacred Tree Recordings will be releasing some guided meditations of mine over the next couple of days. They produced the Mp3s for Spiritual Kids, and have created Theta Music to accompany them. It's a very exciting project and one to help you find groundedness, clarity and re-alignment.

Hmm. It might be a good time to sign up to the newsletter... because this month there's a lot to keep track of.

 Lastly, today marks the start of the empowerment summit over at Heather Devore’s place. It’s free and you can grab your spot here... and still be in time for my awesome interview on Friday (as well as my gift!)

Yeah, like I was saying... there's just something about November that makes you feel like doing something.  

Learning to Learn- The Homeschool Balance

As a homeschooling mom, September brings something out in me. Each August I go to the school supply aisles with wonder and excitement. Each Labour day I contemplate the school year ahead and ask myself, how will it go this year?

The thing is, there’s been good years and not so good of years on our homeschooling journey. There’s been years when my daughters have felt they didn’t quite grasp what they wanted to... there’s been times I’ve felt I didn’t set them up as best as I could. Don’t get me wrong, they always learn but  it’s our own sense of satisfaction I’ve been looking for.

I’m always asked about homeschooling, especially since I work from home as well. Early on in the adventure I stressed and tormented myself... and our girls. I had the chalkboard, I had the schedule I had the workbooks. It was school... at home.

But after our son came earthside, it didn’t work as well. Oh let’s face it. Our younger daughter lived with her head in her hands. She’d hated the school regime. So we did some unschooling, we did workbooks, we had lots of experiences... and they read A LOT!

Fast forward 8 years. Each daughter has developed different curriculum suited to their learning styles. Our eldest likes to push ahead, while our younger girl was using an alternative program for math, and we compile a whole other group of resources for the other topics. This year, we’re switching it up a bit, with both girls on a guided curriculum with a daily schedule online. We’ll supplement and sometimes replace, but still, we’re going for more focused. It just feels like the right time.

And then there’s our boy-o.

For all of last year and the year before it was unschooling for him. He didn’t want to learn, he wanted to play and that was encouraged. But this year something happened: He got bored.

Now, I’m the first one to set the dial for play based learning and exploration. It’s my preferred method for myself. But there comes a time when the imagination can’t fathom where we want to go.

Sometimes as a parent we have to help the stretch by other putting out other options or resetting patterns and habits.

Following the Waldolf approach of delayed reading until 7, my son was told enough... he’s now 7.

He’s enrolled in a reading program online, and he’s starting the routine that his sisters are doing as of tomorrow.
At first, last week when we started molding our days to a school routine he fought me on it. After breakfast we all meet for yoga, and I thought our boy would pull a ligament with his lack of focus and flip-floppiness. He resisted reading practice and used every excuse in the book. It was so hard to stop myself from just saying “play. Go for it.” But we made a few deals and eased it in slowly. I wasn’t going it make it a miserable experience, but an self awareness building one. He knew he felt better with focus, but reading practice counted for a certain amount of play etc.

By the end of the day our son had a light in his eye and a skip in his step. He felt more focused and satisfied with himself. He felt taken care of and that he’d grown up a little bit more. He felt confident and ready to tackle the next day.

Which, by the way, went much better. He did yoga with intention and did the meditation exercise at the end. He asked for his reading program and complied to the practice with me. He was conscious of his own development and how much happier he felt when he had things he was working on.

He’s starting to learn how to learn and learn that learning can feel good.

So, although throughout this blog and my work I talk about feeling good and striving to help our children find the joyous connection that they naturally have, I really want to stress that sometimes we, as parents, get an off feeling and feel we have to act on something. We feel we have to take over and insist on something to expand and move forward. And, as long as it comes from a connected, happy place, spiritually, this is what our children want. But, that ol’ homeostasis works for them too, you know. 80% of themselves, will resist to any change, even if they are spiritually bored.

So if there’s one thing homeschooling has taught me it’s to stay in the moment, stay aware and listen to how things feel. If your child playing with mudpies all day feels fantastic and you get joy of watching them: it’s exactly right. If they’re still doing it 3 years later, they are feeling restless but don’t know what else to do and something feels off to you, then explore setting up something else. Help your children break their own negative habits and help them notice the process for their own awareness.

The same went for our daughter who loves to play her way through learning. This year I realized she wasn’t feeling very confident in her own knowledge and progress; out comes the new system and a bit more work. Through learning she is developing an awareness of herself, and appreciates the after effects, where she can play without that nagging feeling that she should be doing something for expansion. 

Hands Are For Holding

My son has never been spanked.

But I can’t say that about my girls. When they were younger... I thought I had to be the one in

control. I thought that was just how it was done.

I just didn’t know there was another way. But my girls soon taught me there was a much better way.

When I realized I was teaching them to hit through my hitting life flooded through the window and lit up my soul. My girls and I started on the most exciting journey of compassion, understanding and love and it paved the way for exciting pre-teen years, where we stand together, not against each other.

But still, so many parents think that spanking is the way to get “results”. Still, today, parents are often taught that they need to control their children rather than understand them. They feel judged as people by how their children behave and punishing them by hitting and spanking is a way to find that control again... and for some reason society seems to think that’s ok, even if an adult did this to another adult the police would be called.

So, this season, I want to help an organization that I’ve wanted to help for a long time, and I’m asking for your help to do it too.

(So, here’s my sudden inspired idea) Until Christmas, I’m changing the price of my audio course to $10.00 and proceeds will be going to this organization to support them this season.

I looked around. I was going to offer the money to support someone over Christmas, but then I thought what better present to children than to offer their parents positive parenting tools! Its food for thought.

www.stopspanking.org offers tools, perspective shifts, and support to stop the spanking cycle as well as education on the long term effects spanking has on our children and helping parents learn there’s another way. For those of you who know the wonderful work of Parenting beyond Punishment, you may of heard of the non-profit organization. However as a Non-profit they need as much help they can get to share their tools and information and help parents who are falling into the cycle of anger and spanking without knowing they can turn it all around.

SO to recap.

The Audio Course Taking the Stress Out of The Holidays is now $10.00 with proceeds going to the www.stopspanking.org also known as Hands Are For Holding. 

You can grab the course here no discount code, no anything. Spread the word and let’s get as much support as possible to this great cause.

And, if by any chance, you still haven’t been able to stop yourself from raising your hand to your child, feel free to contact me or this organization. No questions, no cost, I've been there, I get it. Let’s  bridge the gap between you and your child.

Happy Holidays.

TAKING THE STRESS OUT OF THE HOLIDAYS

Well, it’s been a busy year for me and there’s something about December that always makes me feel like I need to wrap up a year well; like a present.

So, I made myself one.

I’d promised myself that this year I was going to make my first course. It started off as going to be a course for the online platform Udemy, but then I decided, what with some travel happening and new plans, that a simple audio course would be easier and would flow more.
 People were starting to talk about Holiday stress and how they didn’t feel comfortable around family and friends, how they didn’t feel the holidays reflected their true selves, and Ta Da! The course topic was found.

Writing it in the back of our car during our inspired roadtrip to Winnipeg MB, and then recording it once we found the suitable studio when we got into town, its been a whirlwind experiment, but one I’m proud of.

The course is broken up in 3 sections.

You. Other People. And your Children. And how those three elements can be stressed focused during the Holiday Season.

The Course then offers tips and tools, meditations, processes and exercises to tap into your higher self, and trust your inner wisdom. It offers dig deep exercises that help you discover how you REALLY feel about stuff, and then helps you pivot around those “niggly” people that make you feel crappy, even though you haven’t done anything wrong. Actually the entire middle section is dedicated to finding your centre at family dinners or work events. And then there’s the section on Your Children, how to help them connect and stay true to themselves, how to hear them, under the hysteria, how to enjoy the magic moments and see it through their eyes, rather than rushing through for the something bigger.

Throughout there’s reset buttons and tools for The Law of Attraction, as well as meditations and energy work.

It’s a pretty full Holiday Toolbox. With a workbook included.

But it was only finished, what with one thing and another, the first week of December.

That could be a little crazy... or silly... for a course about the holidays.

But I do tell everyone to just trust.... go with the flow... follow the downstream option which carries you to how it’s all meant to be.

So, the course, that is usually set at $77 for the rest of the year, has a bit of a twist.

Sign up for the newsletter to the side of this post, and you get a code  for 75% off.

Which makes it $19.25

I love seeing how things turn out don’t you? And I love having everyone on my FB page and newsletter involved and the Spiritually Aware Parenting community able to grow together.

So, I hope you check this new venture of mine out.

The purpose is to create a holiday season which will be filled with joyful, awe-inspiring, moments (like the ones you used to have as a kid) and to use that as an attraction point for a brilliant new year. Its meant for you... and I’m so happy to be able to offer it to you this month for under $20!

Anyway, let me know what you think of it... I’ll be working on another course soon and could do with any feedback.

You can find it at

http://christinafletcher.bandcamp.com/album/taking-the-stress-out-of-the-holidays

BUT SIGN UP FOR THE NEWSLETTER FIRST!!!!!

(either in the sidebar beside this post or at http://spirituallyawareparenting.com/special-gifts.html )

And as you never know how life will flow.... just in case.

Happy, Stress Free, Holidays. Relax, breathe, let go and love!