Turning January Blahs into Joys.

So, how is your family recovering from the holidays?

There is something I’ve always loved about January... the openness, the newness, the space to launch into anything...

And then I had kids and I was introduced to January blahs.

Have you ever noticed how in October everyone is excited about Halloween and then it turns to November and Christmas whisperings start.. it builds and builds... feeling like a cross between excitement and absolutely overwhelm. Finally, it ends with hysteria. I’ve always done my best to keep it calm and cool, but now that everyone is older they are on their own path. Christmas morning comes, I focus on keeping it chill, but everyone has their own processes, their own anticipation and then suddenly after all the build up... it’s done.

I watched my children eek out the holiday spirit through until New Years. We played, they goofed about and we had some amazing family time. Ours is a “downtime” themed holiday... soaking up the music, food and card game vibe.

But life proceeds... and now it’s back into our happy day to day life. No matter how long you keep the tree up, the energy shifts and suddenly, it just... well, I guess it just feels like January. I start pulling out my agenda, and my Leonie Dawson workbooks, I start feeling my way to the new path of 2017.

But everyone under 14 has a bit of a gap. With nothing “to look forward to.” There's some mood swings, some upset over little issues... really a sense of overwhelmed.

Ugh, my husband and I sigh with the whole thing. Culturally children have been told for three months of the year that there is happiness around the corner. 

But really, we all know that happiness is in the day.

Don’t get me wrong, my kids know this too. In fact, one of the things they all noticed during holidays was how the happiness was in the lightness and moment to moment play of each day. The prep had been empty promises, as the gifts and celebration had been hoopla for 15 minutes, it was the after play that really rung out in joy.

But January whispers to them otherwise. Although my boy loved his blocks and toys, and played with them during the week, now they sit on the shelf as he approaches each day with an energy of “now what?”

Outside is cold and stormy, there’s a restlessness progressing and each day he goes to sleep asking “what’s happening tomorrow?”

When a child is 2-3 they know the happiness of the moment, and anything outside of that is overwhelming. They welcome the end to celebrations and big deals. 

But, like our older children, we can also fall for the premise of happiness having to be found and built upon, can’t we? When do we learn to drop in the joy of the day like our babies? Do we pass the restlessness on to them? Do they learn it from us? Is our children’s restlessness a mirror of our own?

It is time to refocus. It is January after all, right? It is time to breathe in the moment and release the anticipation for a greater tomorrow. Let’s embrace a fantastic today.

This is why I extended my New Year sale on the Spiritual Kids course. (this is the last sale I'll be having in a while, everyone I work with keeps having a fit how cheap I offer it.) I think shifting the focus to creating spiritual foundation in our homes is the perfect solution to January blahs. It shifts it from “what is happening tomorrow?” to “What are we being today?” It turns our child’s focus from “What are others doing for me?” to “What can I create for myself?”

When we offer our children tools to find out what makes themselves jive, when we draw their attention to their emotions and their focus through activities and crafts, we help them feel their way to their inner truths, with fun and lightness. And in that vibration, we attune ourselves. They get to show up as themselves, their own individual essences, rather than the “child” who is waiting for the next holiday. Rather than a role, they can shine as themselves.

Roles follow us all and it’s time to break free of them.

Passing on spirituality has made me have to set aside my own sense of roles. I’ve had to show up as myself so I can encourage my kids to do the same.

It’s a wonderful circle pathway to embark on.

Life is fun; each day a seed to grow into a joyful experience. Each moment, we can choose our focus and we don’t need holidays, or events or even outings to create happiness in our lives.

Living in the present is the greatest gift we can give ourselves.

There was a great quote from Abraham Hicks the other day... it talked about cutting out the word "achieve" and "earn"... and replace with "allow".

We need to stop working towards happiness and allow it to be in the moment instead.

And now, I have to slip downstairs to help my son ice a cake we just made together.

Cake is always an extra bonus to a happy day.

All I want for the Holidays

You know what I want for Christmas this year?

I want fun.

I want to have a lightness to life and let it flow through my core. I want to giggle and to have belly laughs, like my son can still. I want to goof around, and be silly. It’s not like I stopped being silly on purpose, somewhere  I just thought I got too busy. But that’s ridiculous, isn’t it?

When people describe me, I often get “positive” and “cheerful” in the description... I think I once got “bubbly”... which I thought was kinda neat although... maybe a little concerning! But sometimes, I forget to let that feeling really drop. I forget to let the thoughts actually vibrate... well at a bubbly level. I think we all do this, we skim through life’s offerings ... never fully experiencing the feeling, which can make life kinda bland. It stops the belly laughs, really.

It’s like when I try to figure out if the presents I’m buying my kids are all fairly distributed, and rather than sitting down with pen and paper in hand to figure it out, I try to mentally think about that as well as everything else... the feeling space turns stressful, because it’s unfocused and unfelt. Rather than fun, because I could be really savouring the joy of giving.

 Mindfulness creates focus, but its circular, as it also comes with focus.

I had the most wondrous realisation the other day. I’m married to the love of my life. I dreamt of meeting him since I was 5, and now we’ve been married for 15 years. Woah! How did that happen? Not only that, but I’m a mom to my dream kids, and I get to come up with ways to pass on spirituality to them and share them with other parents, I get to talk practical spirituality and relationships and parenting with people all across the world daily. I get to write and express myself and I live in a world that I can share that in a click of a button. I get to show up as me. I need to let that sink in finally, rather than chasing it, because I haven’t actually realised it.

So often I talk with parents and they talk about being more present in their parenting, and I think coming to terms with this kind of realisation is a big key to that.

Look at what you’ve got, and decide to claim it. Let it sink in.

Appreciate the moment, and know it will change, and most likely get even better, but what you’ve put out for has come to this point, which will bring forth more asking. So, appreciate what you already have in front of you, and let your heart fill and your energy ground you to the floor in the awe of it all.

Because appreciation can be one of those skimming thoughts, can’t it?

We can list off what we have, like a grocery list, and check them off, almost scared that truly appreciating them, loving them to our core, will make us too vulnerable.

Oh, that’s deep, right?

Love makes us vulnerable.

I remember, when my husband and I first met, we felt so vulnerable, because we thought we could lose each other. We could almost feel ourselves pull back out of the fear of not having each other.

How many other things do we do that with? How much of life do we skim over, not wanting to drop into it completely for fear of missing it if it goes away?

So, what’s the point of this letter?

Well, in these darker days of winter, and as winter holidays approach, I want to encourage you to do two things...

Savour those in front of you and let the loving of them, fill you up from your toes. Don’t just make lists about being grateful for them, rather let yourself Feel the love of for each item on that list, let the list build, so you feel elated.

Second thing is, let any stress go and have some fun! It’s time to feel wonderful, it’s time to enjoy the little things, really enjoy them, and it’s time to embrace feeling good! And Live it up.

Imagine for one moment, if the vibration we collectively carried into the New Year was one of Joy.

What would that feel like as a community?

I guess we'll have to wait to see. 

Oh by the way, I’m working on a free video challenge to start the new year off in a feeling good place, I’ll be letting you know more details closer to the date, but I really hope you can join me.

 I think we should all go into 2017 feeling good about ourselves and our families. <3

Hands Are For Holding

My son has never been spanked.

But I can’t say that about my girls. When they were younger... I thought I had to be the one in

control. I thought that was just how it was done.

I just didn’t know there was another way. But my girls soon taught me there was a much better way.

When I realized I was teaching them to hit through my hitting life flooded through the window and lit up my soul. My girls and I started on the most exciting journey of compassion, understanding and love and it paved the way for exciting pre-teen years, where we stand together, not against each other.

But still, so many parents think that spanking is the way to get “results”. Still, today, parents are often taught that they need to control their children rather than understand them. They feel judged as people by how their children behave and punishing them by hitting and spanking is a way to find that control again... and for some reason society seems to think that’s ok, even if an adult did this to another adult the police would be called.

So, this season, I want to help an organization that I’ve wanted to help for a long time, and I’m asking for your help to do it too.

(So, here’s my sudden inspired idea) Until Christmas, I’m changing the price of my audio course to $10.00 and proceeds will be going to this organization to support them this season.

I looked around. I was going to offer the money to support someone over Christmas, but then I thought what better present to children than to offer their parents positive parenting tools! Its food for thought.

www.stopspanking.org offers tools, perspective shifts, and support to stop the spanking cycle as well as education on the long term effects spanking has on our children and helping parents learn there’s another way. For those of you who know the wonderful work of Parenting beyond Punishment, you may of heard of the non-profit organization. However as a Non-profit they need as much help they can get to share their tools and information and help parents who are falling into the cycle of anger and spanking without knowing they can turn it all around.

SO to recap.

The Audio Course Taking the Stress Out of The Holidays is now $10.00 with proceeds going to the www.stopspanking.org also known as Hands Are For Holding. 

You can grab the course here no discount code, no anything. Spread the word and let’s get as much support as possible to this great cause.

And, if by any chance, you still haven’t been able to stop yourself from raising your hand to your child, feel free to contact me or this organization. No questions, no cost, I've been there, I get it. Let’s  bridge the gap between you and your child.

Happy Holidays.

5 Tips to Feel Better Around Family Over the Holidays

It’s twelve days before Christmas and already I can feel the tension building...

Hmmm... come to think of it my shopping list is way behind... oh well. I have some general ideas brewing. I’m sure they will unfold beautifully.

Yes. That’s my approach to everything lately:  I look forward to the unfolding.

But as someone who has her three kids, spouse and dog staying in a large home with my sister and her family, other people’s approaches, traditions and functioning is foremost on my mind.

It’s a holiday tradition in itself isn’t? The feeling of uncertainty regarding family, friends and the melting pot that often turns into a pressure pot over the holiday festivities. It could almost be funny if it wasn’t so painful sometimes, as we all get that sense of dread, wondering will it all be ok.

So, I’m compiling a quick list of how to survive a family holiday gathering... a Coles notes as it were... a cheat sheet on how to keep the love flowing and everything unfolding beautifully.

1)      Find your inner connection... and be able to do it quickly.

When do you feel the best? What thoughts make you settle into a space that rings out as YOU. Within us is a space, an inner room, that we let go of everything that bothers us, stresses us and makes us feel awkward, insecure or worried. Rather we sit back in the gentle space of Who We Really Are. But often these times are fleeting, and when we find them we appreciate them, but we don’t know how we got there. When do you feel most like yourself? What thought creates that space for you?

We can all find shortcuts that trigger a feeling space of Who We Really Are, it just takes a bit of focus and good habits. Often, if we have a crystal, a piece of jewelry, a symbol or trigger point, that reminds us that of Who We Really Are and how we want to be Spiritually Aware each moment. With that simple reminder, we can jump from the reactionary space amongst our family into a grounded space, an observatory perspective, which allows us to see the situation as the whole, not as the chaos. From this space, life flows, new solutions are found and things fall into place.

2)      Not my Circus, Not my Monkeys.

One of my new favorite sayings, it really is all about what’s your business and what’s not. As family we’re usually the first to jump to a sibling’s defense (even if we haven’t a clue what they’ve been up to all year) or the first to make some little joke or comment to fill the social silence gap. But Not my Circus means- my life My monkeys means- the components of that life.

If your uncle Dave is talking about how your Aunt Sue drives him crazy and spends too much... you don’t have to take sides. Change the topic. Stay in your own circus If its anything like mine, it’s enough to handle. When we let go of other people’s business we not only shift priority to our own lives (and usually our children) we also empower people to focus on their own monkeys. This can go as far as telling yourself not to even TALK about OTHER PEOPLE! No gossip and suddenly you open yourself up to a world of better feelings and wider conversations. And it can start with just you. Not my Circus, Not my Monkeys is about empowerment for everyone, and it can start with you.

3)      Find The Third Choice.

Sleeping arrangements being argued over... be Switzerland... and rather than getting attached to one side of the argument open yourself up to another solution, be the space finder. This is done only through taking a step away from the situation, remembering that time is illusionary and nothing needs to be rushed. Sometimes we all get so caught up to make a point it seems like whoever speaks the loudest and fastest wins. Breathe, take a step away, find some quiet, offer the problem up and ask for a solution. You might find that while everyone else was spinning around, life unfolded in your space and ideas flowed in. Everyone else will have wasted their breath and emotional focus, and you simply let it be and evolve.

4)      Each for Each.

Diversity is a gift. When we allow others to think differently, believe differently, live differently, we create a space where we get to do the same thing. Also, the law of attraction kicks in as well. We truly do get what we give. The Golden Rule, of Treating People The Way We WANT to be Treated, does literally work. When we acknowledge that another person’s way isn’t Our Way, but ok for them, we send out the feeling space of love, understanding, compassion and acceptance. By living in that space, we radiate that energy out, and create more of the same. We always get what we put out.

Therefore the old saying of Each for Each is What I Teach, isn’t just for children in a nursery rhyme, rather it’s a quick reminder that “seclusion isn’t inclusion it’s the stretching of the void.” Judgement and criticism can never create peace, especially within ourselves.

5)      The Magic is in The Moment

Our children are so good at knowing and living in the pursuit of feeling good. They know that if it feels Off, it’s Off. We spend the rest of their childhood trying to convince them they have it wrong... when really they’ve got it right. By following how something feels we live in awareness of each moment. It doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t do what we need to do, but we take a step aside to focus differently, place ourselves in our inner room, or wait a bit before jumping in.

 Our children do this by living in their moment and it is a child’s Moment that matters. It is the little cuddles Christmas Eve that feel the warmest, rather than the big dinner. It’s the icing cookies, or watching candles flicker that create the best memories.

Most of the stress we create perpetuates around the big deals we feel we need to create for our children and family, finding that perfect gift, creating that perfect memory, when by letting life unfold, and enjoying the little moments, we create bigger moments full of magic... naturally. Also, when we other family members, when we are taking care of the moment, focusing on the little joys with our children, we create a bubble around us and our  kids. We share looks, laughs and exchanges, we connect with them, rather than being distracted by the bigger picture. Life flows.

There they are. 5 quick tips to a Happy Family Holiday Experience. 

With them, I would like to extend this invitation: Create a New Experience This Year.

So often each holiday get together is exactly the same, even down to the trimmings. If we don’t get along with Grandma and she makes us feel the same now as she did when we were ten, there’s a bit of a reason. We always get the energy we expect, as, when we remember an experience, we create that space and emit it. Then we get it back again. Law of Attraction Strikes.(if you want more detail on how to alter your attraction point for the holidays, I cover it fully on my audio course.) Therefore, set a different stage. Invite a different experience in. Focus on the positive aspects, change the feeling and expectation, shake it up.. and see what happens.

Here’s to Happy thoughts, dreams, and focuses and may they create a beautiful New Year!

Check out Christina’s Audio Course- Taking the Stress out of the Holidays and take part in the 75% discount using the code holidayspirit to get it for $19 in time for the holiday rush.

TAKING THE STRESS OUT OF THE HOLIDAYS

Well, it’s been a busy year for me and there’s something about December that always makes me feel like I need to wrap up a year well; like a present.

So, I made myself one.

I’d promised myself that this year I was going to make my first course. It started off as going to be a course for the online platform Udemy, but then I decided, what with some travel happening and new plans, that a simple audio course would be easier and would flow more.
 People were starting to talk about Holiday stress and how they didn’t feel comfortable around family and friends, how they didn’t feel the holidays reflected their true selves, and Ta Da! The course topic was found.

Writing it in the back of our car during our inspired roadtrip to Winnipeg MB, and then recording it once we found the suitable studio when we got into town, its been a whirlwind experiment, but one I’m proud of.

The course is broken up in 3 sections.

You. Other People. And your Children. And how those three elements can be stressed focused during the Holiday Season.

The Course then offers tips and tools, meditations, processes and exercises to tap into your higher self, and trust your inner wisdom. It offers dig deep exercises that help you discover how you REALLY feel about stuff, and then helps you pivot around those “niggly” people that make you feel crappy, even though you haven’t done anything wrong. Actually the entire middle section is dedicated to finding your centre at family dinners or work events. And then there’s the section on Your Children, how to help them connect and stay true to themselves, how to hear them, under the hysteria, how to enjoy the magic moments and see it through their eyes, rather than rushing through for the something bigger.

Throughout there’s reset buttons and tools for The Law of Attraction, as well as meditations and energy work.

It’s a pretty full Holiday Toolbox. With a workbook included.

But it was only finished, what with one thing and another, the first week of December.

That could be a little crazy... or silly... for a course about the holidays.

But I do tell everyone to just trust.... go with the flow... follow the downstream option which carries you to how it’s all meant to be.

So, the course, that is usually set at $77 for the rest of the year, has a bit of a twist.

Sign up for the newsletter to the side of this post, and you get a code  for 75% off.

Which makes it $19.25

I love seeing how things turn out don’t you? And I love having everyone on my FB page and newsletter involved and the Spiritually Aware Parenting community able to grow together.

So, I hope you check this new venture of mine out.

The purpose is to create a holiday season which will be filled with joyful, awe-inspiring, moments (like the ones you used to have as a kid) and to use that as an attraction point for a brilliant new year. Its meant for you... and I’m so happy to be able to offer it to you this month for under $20!

Anyway, let me know what you think of it... I’ll be working on another course soon and could do with any feedback.

You can find it at

http://christinafletcher.bandcamp.com/album/taking-the-stress-out-of-the-holidays

BUT SIGN UP FOR THE NEWSLETTER FIRST!!!!!

(either in the sidebar beside this post or at http://spirituallyawareparenting.com/special-gifts.html )

And as you never know how life will flow.... just in case.

Happy, Stress Free, Holidays. Relax, breathe, let go and love!