Positive Parenting when it gets tough!

I’ll be honest, when I first started on the road of “positive parenting", I had no idea there was a term for it.
I’d never heard of “attachment” parenting or “RIE”… all I knew was that when I got mad or frustrated with my children it felt horrible… and my instincts told me that it felt horrible because I was just mad my kids weren’t doing what I wanted them to do, and that made me feel like a bad parent. .
 At the root of it all, I was needing them to change to make me happy.
Which meant I was telling them that other people were the cause of our happiness or unhappiness. I would raise people who couldn't find their own inner joy. 

(Check out this amazing Positive Parenting Course Bundle available NOW... but only until Wednesday Nov. 29th! (over $1000 worth of positive parenting courses for $97!)

So, I had to find a different path which would build: 
1) A positive parenting relationship between myself and my kids.
2) A perspective of parenting which offered the positive message for my children that they were perfect just as they are.
​ And
 3) A positive perspective of myself. I had to learn that I was allowed to be Me… with all my foibles and isms, that make me ME.
When a child sees their parent being authentic, they know they are allowed to be themselves.
And for me, that’s what positive parenting really is… actually that’s what positive Living really is.

But then, we have the actual parenting part. It can be so easy to research positive parenting, but the application can be so much more complicated

. Life gets messy. Life can get Really Messy. How do we navigate through that? What are the steps we can take to be Positive Parents, especially at busy times and holiday times when the pressure is on?

If you noticed my number 3 above, you’ll see I had to find a positive perspective of myself. I had to be Me. When I could connect to being me and not some superficial concept of “mom” I had the foundation to fall back on. The lens to put on. The connection to call upon when life gets tough. 
And it does get tough. Life is fast. Sometimes things chug along in all blissfulness, but a child will have an off day. They will get stressed and so will we, but that's often where the learning takes place.
 That is actually a huge part of positive parenting: understanding that even the tough moments have purpose.

In each off, tempery, fiery, crazy and chaotic moment with our kids, we know that we can stop in our tracks. Its ok to have an off moment and to feel anxious, worried, or sad. It’s an opportunity to learn and grow together. Negative emotion is nothing more than an indicator that we aren’t seeing through our spiritual perspective. If we try to push the indicator away, we can’t listen to it.

OK… but some real tips… How can we positively parent in the rush of it all?

1) First, know that energy matches energy, so when a child is frantic, we can practice finding our inner calm, breathing deep and bringing in a different feeling space of love. We don’t have to go into the situation with panic and trailblazing.
Our children might be scared of their own feelings. With us remaining grounded will support them and light the path back to stability.

2) Listen. Listening to our children’s experiences, emotions and thoughts gives them a space to express and explore what they really are going through.

3) And then offer. We can offer tools to feel better, we can offer a hug… we can even offer solutions like quiet spaces or car rides to leave the situation entirely. But also, when our children are in disagreement with us we can offer them our WHY. Because often the very reason they say no to us is because they don't understand what we are suggesting, or they are trapped in their own thought processes. 
Give opportunity to shift to a better feeling space, without forcing them to feel better. Shine a light in the emotional darkness.

Positive parenting means that our children don’t have to navigate who they are alone. They can explore themselves and the world of emotions and life supported and held.

Also… always remember that children live in the moment. 
The future and past are abstract concepts and often feel overwhelming. This is why holidays and celebrations often don’t work for young children, because the moment of seeing beautiful snowflakes can be just as exciting and wondrous for a small child as any Christmas morning… so… we can remind ourselves to see the wonder in every moment as well. We can train ourselves to see through the eyes of a child and enjoy the world for its everyday… not just on a special day.

I think the most beautiful part about positive parenting vs conventional parenting is the knowledge that it isn’t about getting results from our children, rather acknowledging the journey we are all on.
When we want our children to give results (such as good behavior and manners)for our own comfort we skip all the important steps that the challenging moments can offer us. But when we remember the journey of life and look for the tools of love and support we can offer them, our parenting becomes a foundation building experience, which leads to the confident, loving and positive focused adults our children can become.

(Positive parenting is such a wide, exciting topic and appears in so many ways. It’s a wonderful experience to explore and consistently learn about it. This Monday (27th) to Wednesday (29th) you have an amazing opportunity to expand your positive parenting toolbox.
You can get over $1000 worth of positive parenting courses and all their material for only $97 with this Premium Positive Parenting E-course Bundle.. This is really a once in a lifetime sort of chance, with courses by Dr. Laura Markham and other amazing experts. and I can’t encourage you enough to check it out.)

What does your Spirit feel about Holiday Sales and Shopping?

If your inbox is anything like mine today... wowzers!

I was trying to figure out when this whole “black Friday” thing began, but then if it wasn’t one mad scurry sale it’s another one, so that shouldn’t be the focus.

The focus should be how it feels.

Over on the Facebook group today I mentioned that there’s a huge point made about materialism and spirituality. I’ve witnessed it growing up so many times that people teeter totter between wanting to be “spiritual”... and then feel guilty if they get excited over an item of clothing or piece of electronic equipment. The same imbalance comes in us not wanting our children being focused on toys or “stuff” but come the holidays we’ve all got presents in the back of our minds...

We’ll most of us do anyway.

So where does it settle in modern spirituality? What does “buying” look like to our spirits?

Like I said, it depends on how it feels.

Emotions, along with instincts and inner guidance, are the language of our spirit. As Positive Energy when we feel good it indicated the connection to all we really are... when we feel stressed, upset, frustrated or angry, that shows we need to change our perspective and focus to reconnect to Who We Are as Spirit.

So, if the “buying” or “bargain hunt” is fueled by fun; if it’s excited, joyful and eager... then Spirit is right there, enjoying the season and the experience. (I know... Spiritual shopping, what is better than that?!)

But, the minute it gets stressful, or overwhelming; when it gets noisy or you feel yourself drained of energy and focus.... you’re being told to stop, retreat and find connection to your inner self.

Yeah, it really is that easy. When we watch how we feel we can actually feel our spirit guiding us, telling us when to stop and connect, when to buy, when to not, simply by watching what feels good.

And it never fails. Listen to that emotional guidance and you’ll be led to exactly what you need when you need it, and it will be a joyful ride getting there.

As an example, I’ve been meaning to be more active on my instagram more lately, as a way to share more and provide more tools for connection... but our house is a wifi free zone so it’s been impossible.

Well, on a sale memo today I got notified of a new tool which will make it easy to meet you on there without leaving my computer. I guess I had quietly made the request, and the answer found its way to me with a price that made it even more exciting and easy to see the right path to take.

Also, I wasn’t planning on taking part in any “Holiday Sale” items. As a coach I didn’t really know what it meant. But then, suddenly out of nowhere, yesterday I felt like putting some things together, so I did, for the fun of it. I think they were probably meant for some of you and I was getting the indicator to put it out there, so if you feel good about checking them out, you can do so here. 

They will be up until Monday unless they go before then. (10 enrollments of Spiritual Kids are on special from its current special and there’s coaching and book deals as well.)

Following your emotional guidance is so vital during this time of year. It may feel illogical or like there are too many things to “do”, but trust me when I say, it gets done so much better when you look within to just see if it “feels” right.