A student's (my daughter's) thoughts on the Oak Meadow homeschool Curriculum

As parents, we can observe our children, watch their behaviors and mannerisms and basically try to guess how they truly feel about something they are experiencing. Sure we can ask them honest questions, but deep down, we know there’s a chance the answer being given is the one our children assume we want to hear.
Often our children might not know their inner truths themselves.
In my own experience, it is only in the still of the night, when all is calm, that I can quietly feel my way to how things are unfolding for my children and if there’s any new ways I can support them.
Early on this year in one of these moments, I suddenly found myself feeling the need to help our, then 13 year old, daughter, Gia, and I’m so glad that once we acknowledged the issue, we were able to allow in such a glorious solution.
January 2016 was a strange month in our homeschooling journey. She’d pushed herself through some painful lessons on line before Christmas the month before, had plowed through a workbook that had given her no joy. Our Gia is our natural joy-lover. She has always loved to have fun, to create, to play… and to explore the world with a passion. I’ve struggled in meeting this need over her years of homeschooling, since I’ve never been fully able to break the belief of schoolwork being something you just “had to do” and not enjoy. But, for Gia, this had to be different.
Her older sister has always loved the challenge of pushing herself, of the challenge. She was teaching herself to read by the time she was 3 and now at 15 finds university courses exciting. Gia, who’s only 10 months younger, has always been pulled between her natural tendency to play as a process to learn and the pursuit of changing her natural ways of learning to “catch up” to her ambitious sister.
I was becoming more and more aware of how this inner battle was affecting Gia’s confidence and sense of self, and so, with that I reached out to Oak Meadow.
10 months later, having just completed her grade 7 curriculum in the program, Gia will admit to feeling completely different
​. The other day, as we were discussing 2017, she described the year as the one where she woke up and became sure of herself. Not only did she complete her year’s work (something that usually has had to fall to the sidelines for her own sense of sanity) it also helped her gain the focus and clarity to launch her own stop motion Youtube channel, where she’s now helping other kids all over the world make their own movies in this patience demanding artform.
We decided that it was important to wrap up the year properly, and as a final project for 2017 Gia has written a review of the Oak Meadow Grade 7 curriculum to share with you. It’s really exciting for me to have her here, expressing in her own words what I’ve been trying to articulate for awhile. Anyway, enjoy!

I’m Gia and I’ve been homeschooled my entire life.
Up until this last year, I’ve felt very unorganized and I didn’t like schoolwork. I always felt so stressed when trying it and I often ended up quitting a curriculum, meaning I would only do schoolwork in little batches. If I had a workbook or more traditional curriculum I felt that they gave me the information and gave me the questions I had to answer but they didn’t explain it in a way I understood so I never knew what I was doing.
Oak Meadow’s grade 7 curriculum has kept me interested all year. There were days when I’d think I wouldn’t be interested, but then when I got into it I would enjoy it. Ever since starting Oak Meadow I’ve become really confident in my writing and essays. I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be with my age, which I was struggling with for awhile.

Why?
It understood me from a level that no other curriculum did. Other curriculums taught me like I was at school and made me extra stressed. I never absorbed any of the information, but Oak Meadow met me on a more personal level, using examples from real life and allowing me to write stories around the topics, so I feel them rather than just have to memorize facts and data.

What was my favorite project?
I was so proud of my automobile project, which was kind of surprising. I really pushed myself and made a great presentation of the information. I learned about how the automobiles changed over time and about the fuel through history. I never thought that was something I would be interested in, but I was!

What was my favorite topic and what did I learn?
My favorite topic was World History, which was also really surprising, since I’ve never been interested in history. I liked the structure of it. I liked how I would read about something, then do a project about it, and then go back to reading more in detail. It kept me interested and really built upon the topic.
The last project was really cool. I went back through the whole curriculum and reviewed all the projects. I got to pick out influential people from history and expand on them. I picked Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Edison, because the project was how the world be without their work and they made such a difference in the world we live in today.

The Grade 7 English section made me feel more confident in my writing since it had a section on writing mistakes and what they were and why people got afraid to make mistakes. They gave guidelines on how avoid the mistakes and I became a lot more confident in using those guidelines. I looked back at all my work since the start of the Grade 7 year and I could see myself get significantly better.
I read a number of books with the Grade 7 curriculum, both fiction and non-fiction. My favorite fiction book was Summer of The Monkeys, which was a fun book. (a few of the other books were quite serious and sad, which I don’t usually read because they make me uncomfortable. I usually avoid them, but I still read the ones offered in OM.) My favorite non-fiction book was the one on Amelia Earhart, because I learned a lot about her and now I feel quite educated in her life story and in early flight.

I now know the life cycle of stars!
I loved how I was able to write stories in the Science Curriculum as well, as that’s a really good way for me to learn. Whenever I write my stories I really felt I followed the guidelines of the curriculum completely and that makes me feel really proud of my work.
(I’ve never felt proud of my work in any other curriculum! When I completed a project in this year of Oak Meadow it made me feel so satisfied.)

I’m still finishing the math section, because I fell a little behind in that topic so I could really dive into the World History and English curriculum which was exciting to me. (I love how I didn’t have to go in order, I could work topic by topic if I wanted to.)Math has always been a struggle for me, and although Oak Meadow helps me understand it better than other workbooks. I still have to take it slowly. I do love how they offer the workbook with the test and practice pages separate from the guidebook.

What I learned about myself?

In some projects I feel I didn’t put enough energy in them, especially in the beginning ones. It was like I didn’t quite get how it worked, but then it clicked. I think I needed to be reprogrammed, because I had to change my view of schoolwork as a painful thing I had to do into a learning experience which could actually involved learning stuff and being interested instead of being in constant pain!

The Grade 7 curriculum also made me more independent when using it. At first I didn’t feel confident enough to take the lessons into my own hands so my mom helped me plan everything out each week, but gradually I was able to do it all by myself, planning out and scheduling out each week. It made me feel so much better in what I do now and gave me life skills for planning and organizing. I now use those skills in other things that I do, which makes life so much easier. (I can’t stand it when things aren’t organized, which I didn’t want to admit until I started to work with Oak Meadow. The grade 7 curriculum gave me the tools I needed to really shine.)


I would suggest Oak Meadow to anyone who is having trouble with schoolwork that follows a core-curriculum, because it reprograms the mind to be open to learning in a fun and interesting way.

Gia is 14 years old. Feel free to visit (and subscribe to) her youtube channel where she artistically (and patiently) creates and shares her Ever After High Stop Motion videos as Everstone Studios.

NOTE- As a Canadian, I can totally understand the extra stress of dealing with shipping and the exchange rate... that's why I was so excited to find out that Oak Meadow is having a boxing day sale to include Canada. The sale offers 10% off everything in the bookstore (including curriculum) + $1 shipping!
​Use the code: 2017BoxingDay

Do you have your hand on the hot stove?

When I was starting my positive parenting path over 10 years ago it coincided with my discovery of the teachings of Abraham Hicks… and the the concept of taking your hand off the hot stove really transformed my way of thinking.

When I first was introduced to the work of Abe and Esther, my husband and I ordered a CD of theirs (yeah… remember ordering CDs?). We listened to it so often that I can still hear some of it word for word in my head….

“We just want to encourage you to take your hand off the stove. But you say ‘ I can’t. My mother put her hand on the stove, her mother put her on the stove… it’s just what we do. The day I was born they told me to put my hand on the stove.” And we say, try it. And you sigh and say ‘it is sweet relief to take my hand off the stove. But who am I to take my hand off, when even my government and world has their hands on the stove?’ we say, put your hand back on the stove if you want to, but now you know that you have the choice.”

What’s the stove? Pressure. Struggle. Stress. The perception that life has to be hard, that success has to be achieved, that we have to push to get what we want.
That parenting has to be a painful journey with a lot of heartache… and our children will end up rebelling against us. That we have to control them, or cajole them to be the people we want them to be. (blech!)

We can take our hands off that stove of struggle, of pain. 
What I love about this image is the actual relief it sparks within me. I imagine having my hand in pain and then just lifting it off. I don’t need to pry it with all my might. I don’t need to push. I just need to remember that I have what it takes to just lift my hand out of the fire. I have what it takes to breathe deep and be. But I still forget. I still put it right back on there

What Abraham forgets to mention, is that as physical people, we also have neural pathways that pull us back into our old patterns. Each morning, as if on cue, we will get out of bed and put our hands back on that stove, unless we put some tools in place to remind ourselves that each day can be different. We can make a different choice.
Yesterday I posted a video in the group about how complaining literally becomes part of us and how gratitude (appreciation) breaks the pathways of negative perspective.
But it does take that choice of lifting our hands off of the high pressure world, in fact, making that choice each day, is really all it takes.

I remember when I was in theatre school, I would sit listening to what the teacher would tell us our project was or what was expected from us. I remember thinking “nah… I can’t even imagine myself doing that.” And then within a few weeks I’d be doing stage-fighting, or climbing 20ft scaffolding, or reciting some long piece of Shakespeare prose. I soon learned that it was just about jumping in and not pushing against it, and taking the step by step path before me. I’d get there in the end.

This reminds me of the concept of “headlights”… that when you drive at night you can only see a few feet in front of you with the help of your headlights, and yet you always end up at your destination. This is so true in life…
Sometimes, the only step that’s clear is to take your hand off of the hot stove.

This is such a valuable perspective for the end of the year, when we can just find that relief, even if everything around us is busy. Focus on headlights, focus on love, light and relief. You’ll get there in the end.

Positive Parenting when it gets tough!

I’ll be honest, when I first started on the road of “positive parenting", I had no idea there was a term for it.
I’d never heard of “attachment” parenting or “RIE”… all I knew was that when I got mad or frustrated with my children it felt horrible… and my instincts told me that it felt horrible because I was just mad my kids weren’t doing what I wanted them to do, and that made me feel like a bad parent. .
 At the root of it all, I was needing them to change to make me happy.
Which meant I was telling them that other people were the cause of our happiness or unhappiness. I would raise people who couldn't find their own inner joy. 

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So, I had to find a different path which would build: 
1) A positive parenting relationship between myself and my kids.
2) A perspective of parenting which offered the positive message for my children that they were perfect just as they are.
​ And
 3) A positive perspective of myself. I had to learn that I was allowed to be Me… with all my foibles and isms, that make me ME.
When a child sees their parent being authentic, they know they are allowed to be themselves.
And for me, that’s what positive parenting really is… actually that’s what positive Living really is.

But then, we have the actual parenting part. It can be so easy to research positive parenting, but the application can be so much more complicated

. Life gets messy. Life can get Really Messy. How do we navigate through that? What are the steps we can take to be Positive Parents, especially at busy times and holiday times when the pressure is on?

If you noticed my number 3 above, you’ll see I had to find a positive perspective of myself. I had to be Me. When I could connect to being me and not some superficial concept of “mom” I had the foundation to fall back on. The lens to put on. The connection to call upon when life gets tough. 
And it does get tough. Life is fast. Sometimes things chug along in all blissfulness, but a child will have an off day. They will get stressed and so will we, but that's often where the learning takes place.
 That is actually a huge part of positive parenting: understanding that even the tough moments have purpose.

In each off, tempery, fiery, crazy and chaotic moment with our kids, we know that we can stop in our tracks. Its ok to have an off moment and to feel anxious, worried, or sad. It’s an opportunity to learn and grow together. Negative emotion is nothing more than an indicator that we aren’t seeing through our spiritual perspective. If we try to push the indicator away, we can’t listen to it.

OK… but some real tips… How can we positively parent in the rush of it all?

1) First, know that energy matches energy, so when a child is frantic, we can practice finding our inner calm, breathing deep and bringing in a different feeling space of love. We don’t have to go into the situation with panic and trailblazing.
Our children might be scared of their own feelings. With us remaining grounded will support them and light the path back to stability.

2) Listen. Listening to our children’s experiences, emotions and thoughts gives them a space to express and explore what they really are going through.

3) And then offer. We can offer tools to feel better, we can offer a hug… we can even offer solutions like quiet spaces or car rides to leave the situation entirely. But also, when our children are in disagreement with us we can offer them our WHY. Because often the very reason they say no to us is because they don't understand what we are suggesting, or they are trapped in their own thought processes. 
Give opportunity to shift to a better feeling space, without forcing them to feel better. Shine a light in the emotional darkness.

Positive parenting means that our children don’t have to navigate who they are alone. They can explore themselves and the world of emotions and life supported and held.

Also… always remember that children live in the moment. 
The future and past are abstract concepts and often feel overwhelming. This is why holidays and celebrations often don’t work for young children, because the moment of seeing beautiful snowflakes can be just as exciting and wondrous for a small child as any Christmas morning… so… we can remind ourselves to see the wonder in every moment as well. We can train ourselves to see through the eyes of a child and enjoy the world for its everyday… not just on a special day.

I think the most beautiful part about positive parenting vs conventional parenting is the knowledge that it isn’t about getting results from our children, rather acknowledging the journey we are all on.
When we want our children to give results (such as good behavior and manners)for our own comfort we skip all the important steps that the challenging moments can offer us. But when we remember the journey of life and look for the tools of love and support we can offer them, our parenting becomes a foundation building experience, which leads to the confident, loving and positive focused adults our children can become.

(Positive parenting is such a wide, exciting topic and appears in so many ways. It’s a wonderful experience to explore and consistently learn about it. This Monday (27th) to Wednesday (29th) you have an amazing opportunity to expand your positive parenting toolbox.
You can get over $1000 worth of positive parenting courses and all their material for only $97 with this Premium Positive Parenting E-course Bundle.. This is really a once in a lifetime sort of chance, with courses by Dr. Laura Markham and other amazing experts. and I can’t encourage you enough to check it out.)