The Call for Self Care

Why do we resist feeling better?

Why do we put off our own self care, or our own moment to choose a better feeling thought?

I like to call it an addiction to friction, because, really, often we feel like we just don’t want to take our hand off of that hot stove, we don’t want to feel the relief. Maybe we feel it just isn’t living without that touch of struggle.

We all do it sometimes. We tell ourselves to get off of Facebook and play at the park... and we wait that few minutes later to do it. We feel stress rising and know we should breathe, and almost hold our breath knowing it stresses us more. There’s a drama in the explosion.

Ok, maybe it’s not that bad or that extreme. But there is the little “should’s” The “I should meditate... I just do this first.” I should take time for myself.... but there’s too much to do. I’m needed.” “I should try that quick energy flush, later... I’ll try that thought later.”

We are swarmed with the habits we know we should fix, but yet we don’t. Why?

At a certain point the time comes when it’s now or never. It’s not just the big habits like smoking or dieting that takes that mental YES to shift! It is all those little pulls our spirit gives, the tugs to our heart, those are the YESes we have to Seize and Just Do It. It just takes getting that little nudge of energy behind it. It just takes that push, that jump into the cold shower determination and only for the first couple of times to get into a new habit.

What’s crazy about the self care denial is it doesn’t take much time. It can actually be as simple as a shift in thinking, a casted look to an open sky, or a deep breath to let tension go. We are learning so much about our thoughts and the affect that stress does on our days. We’re continually learning about vibration and how our thoughts emit energy. We are also realizing daily how our energy affects our children. So, self care is important. We know this.

It just takes that little shift to convince ourselves it’s good to feel good; that we’ll be better parents and people by taking that moment to go within. But it’s also the reminding ourselves that the shift is there for the taking. We don’t have to see an emotion go through its cycle like a load in a washing machine. We can interrupt it before it peaks and choose something else.

Yeah. We can. We can just choose to feel differently. We can choose to go for a walk to feel better. We can breathe deep and think of things we love. It’s just reminding ourselves that that power and choice exists.

This week, I started offering a nice, handy 5 step list to Self Care. In it, you will find Self Care tips that really take no time at all, only a moment, a shift in focus or a thought pattern. I want you to know that you can feel relief and can stop and enjoy the journey you are on. I want you to take care of yourself so that you can connect to your darling ones who are growing up each day. I also want them to learn about self care, and what better way than to watch you do it openly, infront of them.
Life is meant to be enjoyed. But in the ever rush moment to moment, sometimes we simply forget. We all get caught up sometimes, in the drama, in the struggle. But when you take that moment of self care, you simply take that step back to a perspective of Who You Really Are, and then you stop, breathe, feel better and let the day unfold in front of you.

You can find my new guide at www.spirituallyawareparenting.com/free-gift.html

A new Thanksgiving Tradition

This past Sunday was the Canadian Thanksgiving...

I always talk about Thanksgiving and how it’s my favorite holiday in theory. What a wonderful idea, right? A holiday dedicated to appreciation and a feeling of thankfulness for what we have. It’s a great philosophy and one that should be ringing out from the ways during the day. But, then you throw in Turkey dinner, the stress of building a meal as per tradition, you throw in different stories and focuses or you try to make it about appreciation and end up wondering how to do it differently than Easter or Christmas... than solstices and nature holidays... what makes Thanksgiving stand out?

I’ve been a parent for 14 years this Wednesday. 14 years. And for 14 years I’ve been looking for a way to bring specialness into each holiday, how to bring spiritual awareness and emotion into each celebration, so it didn’t get overcast with stress and anticipation.

And this year, Thanksgiving was finally created.

It happened quite by accident really. My younger daughter (who’s the party planner by nature) and I were talking and she was making decorations and activities for her and her brother. The usual What am I thankful for stuff.. as well as place mats for dinner. We were talking about how to make it different, more celebratory; especially since her older sister had commented that we never really “do” Thanksgiving. (What a thought, I was horrified... theoretically it was my favorite holiday... and we’d never “done” it.)

And then the thought flowed in.

We decided to write letters and cards to each other, telling each other what we appreciated about each other. For an hour in the afternoon my children and I filled envelopes telling each other how wonderful each other were. It was an incredible feeling space to spend time in, writing down all the wonderful aspects that make them themselves. We decorated them and made them special, letting them light up the table that night.

I wasn’t prepared for the feeling of opening my envelope that evening. I was focused on what I appreciated about each of them, but to read what they appreciated about me; well it made me cry in overwhelming joy.

In my course Spiritual Kids, building foundations for the Spiritual Aware Family, I offer an exercise in the appreciation board; a wipeboard you hang in the kitchen to leave comments on what you appreciate about other people in the house. The idea came from my friend Elizabeth over at www.appreciationboard.com and I fell in love with the idea right away.

But this little ceremony we did on Thanksgiving was a flood of the feeling of appreciation and thankfulness. A perfect new tradition for a perfect holiday.

What followed was a discussion about what we appreciated about other people we knew, other family members, friends and acquaintances. That too was an incredible experience, as we didn’t always pick the easiest names... we didn’t see the people we chose very often or we didn’t know them very well. It stretched our thankfulness muscles... which of course is what Thanksgiving should be for!

A little different than the stereotypical “what are you thankful for?” but as my husband points out, that version of Thanksgiving should happen every day.

But noticing the little things about people you know and bringing them up over a candlelit, fancy dinner while exchanging letters of appreciation with the people you love.... followed by pumpkin pie... now that is a celebration indeed.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Whether it was this past weekend for you or in a month’s time! <3