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Saturday, June 11, 2011

Finding balance in a new land

Well, here we are on UK soil. What a rush and adventure life is. What an amazing time we live in, where we can be in one country one evening and a few hours later be in a totally different one with a totally different energy, culture and experience to offer. Whenever I travel I’m always surprised to find myself the same person as when I left home. I have to remind myself of my tools and knowledge of who I am, as I figure out how to catch up with myself on my current journey.
It’s been a whirlwind in preparation over the last few months, which the readers of this blog will attest to. It has especially been hard on our two girls, who had the sense of coming adventure, and in the waiting for it, found it hard to stay true to their moment, connect, and feel good, as they were so eager to be where they were going. Our eldest especially was in England spiritually long before she got here.
The journey went well on many sides. We had a smooth plane ride, picked up our car, got to our house, and enjoyed some of our English fare we missed so badly. We’ve been here a week now, and I’ve really enjoyed the few things we’ve seen and experienced as we rushed around getting set up for our stay for the summer. However, like I said finding yourself in a new place means you have to learn yourself all over again, and finding out you still have to eat, do dishes, drive distances and sleep can be hard realities for children who want to experience New things and Everything New NOW!

Having set up with a state of restlessness, our daughters are finding that the law of attraction doesn’t care about oceans. It still works on where you’ve been, and creates the where you are going. Expectations are dangerous things, and our daughters get frustrated at the phrase “let’s just enjoy the now.” When in their minds the now could contain so many things. I find myself concerned they will miss out on the things they are experiencing at each moment for the searching for what to do in the next. However, I remind myself that one week isn’t enough to settle into the adventure they’ve been planning for so many months.

We’re a talkative family. A few months ago, my husband and I blabbed that England was in the future and since then our daughters have waited and waited. I do wonder whether we would have been better just telling them a week before. But I hate the feeling of secrets and it builds a wall between them and us when we keep them. So now we deal with the attraction point of before, restlessness bringing on more restlessness, frustration more frustration, anxiety bringing anxiety….
We could try to keep up with their desire of action, but at this point it would only bring on more of the same. As parents on a trip with children it would be easy to just keep them busy. But with the focus always on tomorrow, and the next thing, a thought pattern set up while waiting for the trip, it would be easy to waste all the sightseeing on people who have chosen to be dissatisfied with the current moment.
So what should a parent do when their children are having a hard time finding the feel good place of disconnection, and finding the satisfaction of the moment?
The first reaction is often to get frustrated. To fall into the trap of spewing off “don’ts” and “no’s”. Hysterical laughter and over excitement quickly followed by moans of boredom is hard to find a place of connection for ourselves in. But no matter what, losing our own disconnection is the last thing that will achieve the happy family.
I remember when I was little and on road trips with my family. I would get together with my sisters and sometimes go hysterical in play, I would attempt to be grown up and act like one of the adults, which would land me in “don’t do that’s”. I would get disconnected and get in a slump of boredom. I would moan and complain with every shopping trip that didn’t include something for me. I never went to a different country when I was little, I can imagine the overwhelming feeling, the fear of a new place, the strange feeling of being in a busy city having spent life in the country. I can feel where they’re at.
Now to find balance. The balance of three children experiencing all of that differently, the balance of us as a family finding the comfort zone again, the home zone where we can drop into connection. To connect myself to my Spiritual Source to feel good in Me, that’s the key to helping our children connect again.
When I do connect I realize that in my preparations, in my planning and constant rushing I’ve gotten distracted from listening, truly listening to everyone. In that I’ve felt not listened to. So I’ll feel good first and listen next. I’ll remember what our children are feeling and offer the feeling better options, for them to take or not. It’s up to them.
I’ll avoid the Don’ts, the No’s and give them a chance to form their own experience, trusting the knowledge they have. Then I’ll look for opportunities to play, to have fun, to help create the fun experiences in each moment.
Expectations and big events can chuck us out of connection, no matter how exciting they sound at the time. Excitement and good outcomes only come when we seize the moment and find the excitement in it. It may be a calm moment, that needs to be savoured, it may be a rushing moment that needs to be rode, but awareness and seizing the positive aspects of it is the process for happy family living.

Our daughters just came in saying their bored…
I took some time with them, and lead them through a 64 second visualization on how they will feel on the fair tonight when their uncle takes them, with the focus on the feeling space and creating the excitement now. Sigh, everyone’s feeling so much happier and what a great vibration raiser!

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