You might have noticed I have a bit of a head of hair. I have to admit, I’ve always liked my hair, it’s full, it’s easy to manage, and as long as I don’t go too creative (I once layered, it was a disaster) it is friendly.
In fact, I’ll let you into a secret... I usually only cut it once a year.
I love going to a salon, but it’s one of those things I just never do. Another little fact you might not know about me is that I don’t drive.
Yeah, crazy... I know.
But when I was 16 I lived in downtown Montreal. There was no way I’d learn how to drive there and public transport was a good friend. Then I moved again and was in University, I didn’t want to spend the money to learn when I was studying... and then inspiration led me to my husband and he drove... I got to hold his hand... why would I learn then?
Also learning in the UK, well that sounded complicated. Then I had babies, I’d learn later on, when I wasn’t distracted easily... and so on, and so on. Now... well did I mention I get to hold his hand?
So if I want to get my haircut it turns into a big family venture. Arranging when to go, what everyone is doing while it’s done. It’s not worth it at the moment. It just never happens.
Well, I hit my year and a half point a few weeks ago. My bob had turned long... my ponytail was shabby. It was being uncooperative. It was time for the chop.
So, after our son was in bed (because I draw the line at a 7-year-old barber) I went into my girls’ room with scissors, and asked “Who’s up for it?”
Now I’d done this once before when they were younger... and it had gone fairly well. But then I’d been hesitant about my younger girl doing it. She wasn’t feeling very secure at the time, very focused... so I was a little nervous. However this time around when she asked if she could do it; I knew it was just what she needed.
You see, our second daughter, who’s only 10 months younger than her sister, still has often suffered from middle child insecurities. She’s sensitive and her sister usually hits milestones first. However, I’ve been watching her break free of that over this past year and it excites me. So, I handed the scissors over with ceremony. She was a little nervous, but you should have seen her face when it turned out perfectly even.
Sometimes, offering a little bit of trust mixed in with vulnerability is what our children need from us. When we show up and say “go for it.” And hand over the keys (Hahaha.... what will that day be like if I still haven’t learnt how to drive by then?) or the scissors.
Our girl who always wanted to be little is growing up, and by making that space for her to make mistakes, and then succeed, she is creating her place in this world, with certainty and self-knowledge.
This new year, I ordered the Shining Life and Biz workbooks from Leonie Dawson. Now if you haven’t heard of Leonie, you really should check her out. She’s an artist, author, a mother, and life coach who has put together an academy and these books to unleash each individual’s creativity and sense of self. She’s awesome... and a self-proclaimed Kooky Lady! Anyway, I bought myself the kit and the moment they arrived I knew my daughter should have the life book too. Our eldest didn’t want it, the kookiness didn’t speak to her soul so we got an affirmation colouring book for her instead, but our second daughter is lit up from the inside whenever she opens up the pages and colours in some of the suggested passions, interests or pursuits. It has asked her some self-defining questions and really made her question her goals, interests and her own spiritual connection. At 13, she’s becoming focused as who she is and how she wants to show up in the world.
Together, we’ve started filling in our workbooks and just spending some time together doing soul work. Yeah, we’ve done it before as you know from the Spiritual Kids course, but that was when she was a bit younger. Now she was ready for something a little different... something she doesn’t even show me.
We just sit there together.
So, what happens when I let my daughters cut my hair? It helps us both show up and shine. It creates self-confidence and fun. It reminds her that I trust her, that hair is just hair and grows so there’s little risk (my view anyway, definitely not a lot of women’s, I know) and that life is in the focus and the moment.