Teaching Our Children to Love and Live in a Time of Fear.

A few days ago we woke up to a scared nation.

Even if I don’t live in America, I could feel the panic, the fear and the shock ripple through social media and worldwide. Through my groups and clients, I felt that fear in parents come in two focuses.

How do we protect our children from being victims of hate; sure that was definitely there. But mostly, the fear was in asking how to pass on to our children that it’s not ok to hate. How do we pass on love and tolerance, acceptance and compassion, when it looks like intolerance is tipping the scales and that’s what our children are around?

I see it in my own son’s eyes sometimes lately. He’s been around a lot of talk and then after election night, he was hearing stories of people’s worries and fears. He doesn’t say anything, occasionally takes part in a conversation, but you can tell there’s an uncertainty there and I wish he wasn’t hearing so much. (A teenage sister who is homeschooling and is fascinated by politics... it’s going to happen.) He hates violence or seeing any signs of aggression or nastiness.  I think this is more common with children now. Children around the world are sensing a shift and they don’t want the aggression. It’s not just America that is being given these extreme choices of love versus fear. Children across the world are witnessing polar perspectives. They might slowly become desensitised to it, but if kept aware of how they feel, they can sense that they want to feel more joy than anger. That the pursuit of happiness is an instinctual motivation.

So, how do we prepare our children and pass on tools of love and compassion? How do we offer them the space to feel Off, to feel upset or angry, without worrying that they will grow up intolerant? How do we offer them the space to get to know themselves and also attune ourselves to our own sense of love, so that we can radiate what we want... not what we are scared of.

Because remember, we attract one of three things; What We Love. What We Hate. And What We Fear.

So, where does that leave us with our children, in a time ripe with fear?

Take a step back. Breathe and note that the sun is shining, the birds are singing and yup... it’s that time of year... here in Nova Scotia snow is forecast.

Are you breathing deeply? Are your children playing?

Grab a cup of coffee and appreciate something.  There it is. A sigh, a release and a shift from holding up what we fear.

Now, listen to me gently.

You have no control over what your child grows up to experience. You can only offer them tools of awareness; awareness to how they feel, awareness to how other people feel, awareness to a sense of feeling like themselves and an awareness to getting caught up in a crowd.

Because let’s face it; fear loves a group. Fear loves to spread and get people talking.

Love is sown well in quiet, in that peace which is created within, when you shift perspective to a Whole Sense of Self.

And what is sown, we radiate. What we radiate, we attract more of. It’s law.

So, then it also comes down to us. To our example and our experience. If we are filled with worry and fear, then it’s not our children who reap from that. We are the ones holding up that fear... it is our experience in the process of creation. We are filling our home with a vibration, which our children pick up on and in that process mirror. Like seeds scattered, some take root.

Therefore, to answer the question on how to help our children through this time of fear?

I say, radiate love and talk often of wellbeing with your children.

Show love and compassion to those who need it.

Offer tools for emotional and spiritual awareness to your children.

And trust wellbeing. Trust that life expands and grows, that the positive always balances the negative.

There are so many ways to offer tools of awareness to our children. Let the question sit with you. Instinctually you will be told what your child needs. If you find centre within yourself, you will feel what way to go. If it helps,  I am offering a video Series in Raising Mindful Children next week. It has three FREE videos with exercises, tips on creating space for mindful living and a free gift. You can sign up here. I’m really excited how it’s coming together.

And (drum roll) as of November 21^st The E-Course,, Spiritual Kids; building foundations for a spiritually aware family will be on sale . The course is 6 parts filled with crafts, activities, stories and exercises for your children as well as videos and meditations for you so that spirit can flood your home and create easy opportunities to become more spiritually aware. I suggest signing up to the newsletter or joining the Facebook group to make sure you hear about the release. 

I am so excited to be able to help you pass on spiritual tools to your children. Because we can turn this time around. Rather than seeing it as dark we can choose to radiate the light. Rather than feeling like it is a heavy time and filling our heads with what others tell us, we can step up, show up and make love happen.  It’s the perfect time as our children are experiencing a true extreme to the spiritual love they FEEL is the true way of living. I hope that we can shift the tide and create a time of pure love together.

My September 2001 love story

15 years ago.

When 9/11 hit I was in Glastonbury, having been pulled to visit there on a spiritual quest. Spirit had called me and I had answered. No, really. I kid you not. I had found myself in the UK quite suddenly having said I was going out of the blue. The plan was barely out of my mouth when the money showed up by chance. So, for September 2001,  I was backpacking, writing a novel and researching a spiritual documentary program for youth I was writing for Channel 5. I’d traveled down to Cornwall only to be spiritually told in the middle of the night, get to Glastonbury on the 7am bus.

I’d gotten in the habit of listening to that calling. So onto the bus I jumped.

September 11^th  I walked into the tourist board and the attendant shakily told me about the twin towers. I rushed to my hostel where I found my fellow travelers gathered around the television. The day, like for everyone in the world was a blur of phone calls, news programs and pandemonium. Life in the world had gone where we never thought it could.

I wondered what I was doing there. I promised my mom to come home as soon as I could get a ticket back (why flying seemed like the logical choice is beyond me) . I scorned my inner callings and felt mislead. However, I was still in Glastonbury, with nothing to do to help the world crisis, I finally realized  I might as well tend my soul.

I decided to shift focus the next day and take in some of the spiritual offerings Glastonbury had to offer while I was there.  I went to Yoga in an old castle like building, visited the ancient Glastonbury Abbey (where legend has Jesus visiting and helping build the first church dedicated to Mary). I planned my evening around something called the Michael Teachings and ending with a meditation class but first headed back to the hostel to grab a quick bite.

You know, being there for the initial crisis had been surreal. A sense of panic and yet loving community formed within that hostel common room. We ate food together, cried together, hugged each other and became friends.

But that next day... with the same footage being played and the same conversations circling and everyone unmoving, sitting in the same spots, waiting for new news: well it was rather eerie. We all sat in the vibration of despair and could literally do nothing to help on a global scale.

And what was stranger still was how I noticed it, and still almost got sucked in. I sat, I watched and I wondered whether I should skip the class I had planned to attend in order to stay in this space of community. But I resisted the group vibration and suddenly decided to remember Who I was and what I was there for.

I packed my bag and left.

Glastonbury is a wonderful little nook in South England, where every spiritual tradition crosses paths. It’s winding Tor, or hill, can be seen from every corner and magic is a way of life. Crystals, green men, Buddhism, Jesus and druids all walk here. Nothing is a surprise, yet nothing is taken for granted.

Meanwhile, deep in my heart, although I almost couldn’t believe it, I knew why I had been called there.

You see, over the years before, I’d always had this connection. At first it was a fairy tale, next it was a dream, a fantasy, but for the while before that day in England, I had been building the spiritual connection with a special someone. I’d never really dated, never gotten the hang of meeting someone to “see what happened.” There'd always seemed to be a glass wall between guys and me. So rather than break it down,  I’d slowly committed to a soul mate, one match for me, my twin flame. Before my spontaneous excursion, I’d imagined so much of life with him, that it felt so completely real... for all I knew, it was real.  I could feel Who He was, even though I’d never laid eyes on him. I wrote to him, sent myself too him and loved him from a space of spirit.

I had almost given up, telling Source to forget it. I’d be single and focused on now.

That as the night before the bus ride to Glastonbury at 7am.

And so, as I followed and followed my heart, I knew the direction she would surely lead me.

The spiritual meeting on the Michael Teachings was at 7pm and I figured I wouldn’t stay for the whole thing as my meditation class was at 8pm. I sat near the back, in the middle of the row, a decision which confused me because, really I was going to have to sneak out probably.

But it was too late to move. The presentation had begun.

A few minutes later footsteps came up the stairs and a man walked in sat down beside me.

The hairs stood up on my neck, but I tried to focus on the lecture.

A few moments later  I asked a question to seem engaged, but the presenter didn’t understand my point.

The man next to me finished off my thought... I turned... eyes met.... world stopped... magic.

Yes, it happened. The world stopped. And you know that flustered, try to find reality feeling after.

Woosh.

I tried to take notes, packed my notebook as the clock neared 8pm.

But that inner voice popped in again, telling me to say yes to a drink if he asked me out.

I resisted. I got ready to go. Pretending the floor wasn’t opening up under me and swallowing me up.

The lecture ended and suddenly, this gorgeous, wonderful man with the blue eyes asked me out for a drink.

I, of course, said yes.

We walked the street talking all night. The next day he took me up the Tor in the rain and to the Chalice Well. We were together from that moment on.

Within 2 weeks we were engaged, 3 weeks later I was back in Canada and late October, my “fiancé” flew in to meet my family.

So, why am I telling you this story?

Well, aside from the fact that tomorrow is Fletcher Day, the day that our family celebrates my husband and I meeting as the day our family begun, but also because every day it reminds me of something; something that is a foundational point in all of my work.

We are more than these physical forms. When we connect to our highest, spiritual versions of ourselves and our source, anything is possible. Solutions flow from anywhere in ways we could never expect or plan.
Arthur O'Shaughnessy  wrote “We are the Music  Makers and we are the dreamers of dreams.”
No matter how bonded we feel to the physical reality and “facts” that are in front of us, no matter what our logical brains chatter to us all day long, especially as parents, there is a deeper source of consciousness always at work, producing magic. We have to let it flow through us. We have to allow ourselves to know it’s there.

I later could look back at our story and call the experience the law of attraction. I’d created the feeling space of connection and it was created. But, although I teach and offer tools for the law of attraction daily, although I know its power, I also don’t want to forget the mystical experience this journey was and always is. There was more than creating the feeling, there was a divine, spiritual orchestration, the sense of timelessness, where future, past and present completely combined together seamlessly and it was in the listening, the trusting, and the allowing that it could come forth; all in the perfect time.

This is a love story, but it’s also a story of potential and I’m sharing it with you today to simply remind you to allow love, light, magic and the spectacular into your life, for then it will flood every corner of it and lift you to places that you never dreamt possible.

Let your spirit soar and enjoy the sights. For that is exactly what we are here to do.

The Law of Attraction behind hosting a webinar

Sometimes resistance is... just a little bit of a pain in the neck.

As you may know, on Saturday I hosted my first webinar on google hangouts.

Now can I just say I used to consider myself quite good at technology. I’ve designed websites, I jumped on using the internet really quickly... hey I used to help edit home videos with double vcrs. I learnt quickly... until webinars.

For some reason, I’ve been trying to figure this out for awhile and getting nervous about it.

But someone told me, just jump in and the rest will follow so I jumped.The webinar went fine. It was a little like having a phone call with a toddler as I was trying to juggle managing the workings of the hangout which wasn’t co-operating at the same time as relaying information and talking through my points. Sadly, my Q& A component wasn’t working and that was incredibly frustrating... and yet so understandable.

Why? Because, even though I might be a coach in the law of attraction it doesn’t mean I don’t hold up the wrong sign occasionally. And quite honestly, I was nervous about the process, and the process gave me what I asked for.

It was a blip. The replay is readily available and technology is technology. No catastrophe, just a learning curve. But I had to laugh to myself at how resistance to something always plays a part in the results.

So, where else does this show up? What little things do we hold resistance to, that doesn’t necessarily provide such blatant proof?

Probably lots of things.

From getting enough sleep, to our children liking the food we make, to even feeling guilty. When we hold up a sign of something “going wrong”, although it might not go as hard as we expect it, it also won’t go as smoothly.

So, yeah, my webinar went well and the next one will be even better. And the next... and the next...

Life is a process; a delicious, learning full, incredible process and the idea that something has to be perfect the first time is one of the plagues of mommy guilt in the first place.

Because, unless you remember your past lives thoroughly, this is a first-time round. This is the first time you’ve been in the place you are. So claim it, ride it, and appreciate it.

Because around the corner is round number 2!

Want to check out my first webinar... here it is.

And I do have an exciting new project that I talk about in the last 5 minutes of the video!

The Blame Game

Reconsider what you are saying when the sentence starts with the word “You”.

I told this to my children early on and hold it as a personal principle.

Why? Because, words hurt, but also the way we use those words, the tone and order we place them, conveys meaning and intention deeper than we can imagine. As a writer and energy sensitive person I feel words deeply and value how they make me and others feel... especially when it involves loved ones.

“You hurt me.” “You made a mess.” “You’re too loud.”

On an energy place these phrases feel so off, so targeted and separated.

The meaning can easily be expressed without the feeling of judgement.

“I got hurt.” “This is messy.” “Let’s be quiet.”

Ah... so much better.

And it can work with naming others as well.

This came up in a FB thread I was part of last week. A woman couldn’t understand her husband taking offense and feeling unsupported whenever he tried to deal with their son’s tantrums. He always did it in a way that rubbed the woman the wrong way and she would always tell her son, in front of the dad...
“I know Daddy upset you and hurt your feelings. He wants you to come to dinner. I know you want to play.” Ouch.

Pronouns can be used to build and support... or crush and demoralize, especially if we have hidden resentment or anger towards the other person. Their name, or the infamous YOU, can serve as a dagger, without any fingerprints.

“Imagine rephrasing it, so it didn’t paint anyone as the bad guy.” I wrote the woman. “Imagine saying... I know you want to keep playing, but we are having dinner now. I’m sorry if you got hurt feelings, we just need you to come to the table. We’ll play together after.”

No accusations, no mixed messages to their son, no guilt, judgement, or criticism. Maybe not as satisfying, but definitely more loving.

Just the “Royal We!” As someone commented. Yes, “we” resonates so much better.

But when we are used to the blame game how do we find the alternative? How do we shift from the place of accusation, when we feel it is simply taking the blame on ourselves?

We shout “why should I take on the blame when it’s not my fault?”

By simply choosing to radiate love instead and removing fault all together.

State the situation, say how you feel about something, but by removing the blame, you keep mistakes, simply that; mistakes, missteps, learning experiences.

Imagine when you were little and you were doing something you probably shouldn’t be and suddenly you break a family heirloom... or a vase from the dollar store, whichever. You feel badly enough, and silently decide you should have been more careful. You’ve helped clear it up, said sorry to your mom or dad, and learnt from the experience.

Then someone else asks about the vase and you hear... “(your name) broke it.”

You feel sick, guilty and un-forgiven. You will never live it down.

All it would have taken is “It got broken.”

Hearing that, you would still feel responsible, you would reconfirm your promise to take more care... but you wouldn’t carry the shame for life, just the lesson.

Also, imagine being the parent, and feeling the words pass through your lips. It simply feels better to let go of the blame, and stay general.

When we follow our hearts and joy we realize it’s better to feel happy than right. Pointing out who is doing what falls low on the feeling good list, just as the feeling we have to make our children feel small for them to be controlled. Simply altering a few simple words can make it about learning, or working together, vs control, blame and laying guilt.

“YOU”... or the accusing name blame game... replaced with a general situation explanation.

Is the difference between our children being raised with insecurities or self awareness.

Tips to find Focus and use its Power!

Wanna know one the most interesting thing about our children and ourselves now a-days?

We all have problems with focus.

We think we’ve got it down. That we can focus when we “put our mind to it.” But in truth, we’re continually flipping from one thing to another, and that’s where life gets incredibly scattered.

I like to compare it to tabs on an internet browser. We all do it. We all have our email tab open at the same time as our social media. We all come up with some idea of something to check up, so we surf a bit for a solution, at the same time waiting for a notification. We are a generation of distraction and we’re passing that on to our children.

Our children are scattered and then they are getting into trouble for not focusing.

So, what is focus, really? Is it simply the ability to put attention on something for a specific period of time? Is it the concentration on a project or the ability to stick to one job until it’s completed?

Currently, I have children doing schoolwork downstairs, I have some laundry that needs to be done, I just cleaned up the kitchen, but was thinking about this post while I was doing it... I’ve promised a son I’m taking him to the park in 20 minutes and I’m awaiting responses to some emails.

It feels a little pushed and pulled in my opinion.

Also, I just had to shift gears on a webinar I was planning and change it to a course, so somewhere in my subconscious I’m designing that, so all in all, I could be really stressed and scattered if I wasn’t aware of it.

I believe focus is more than just about zero-ing in on one thing at a time.

Focus is about intention... and intention is about aligned energy.

It’s the wish-washyness of indecisiveness that creates chaos. Once we line up to some intention, everything seems to flow within that direction.

Often guilt, or the super-mommy complex gets in the way and within that one poisonous thought of “when I focus on that, surely my children will just be aimless...” that we run around trying to “set them up”, before taking care of our own energy direction.

But then, you ask, how do we choose the direction if we’re so scattered we don’t know how to form priorities.

First step... meditate.

It doesn’t need to be a long sit down meditation. Rather its the simple concept of gathering your thoughts and energy to form a focused stream. Imagine your thoughts... each creating energy.. and you simply focus on the energy for a moment... letting it gather in front of you.

Create that ball of light and love in front of you, reminding yourself that there is nothing more important to that to radiate as yourself before you do anything else.

By that focus of feeling grounded in Who You Really Are... you then allow inspiration and other universal powers to help you lay out your intentions.

So... first breathe. Breathe in for the count of 5... hold for the count of 5... and exhale for the count of 5.

Repeat 5 times.

Now, you might find you’ve forgotten what was so scattered and the day feels clearer.

Next... very pragmatically, I usually write a brief list.

No specific order... just what would feel nice to have accomplished in the day... and then I put it in an easy order to let it flow through.

But... let’s face it... we have children and sometimes plans are made to be broken. Sometimes, sandtables need to be played with, or we need to jump on a trampoline.. sometimes we need to break all order to have some fun.

Next remind yourself that that’s where life shows up... in between plans.

and in that aligned energy of your day... allow things to show up. When you've started with meditation, than you can sense the energy of what's flowing in. You can line up to taking a break from your list. You can show up with your children at the park, rather than letting the back thoughts in of "I should be doing something else..." So lining up to the moment is also a trick of focus.

I’m working on own focus, really. I’m working on my social media consumption and how to schedule it rather than be absorbed by it. When we were travelling on the road I had no access (I won’t allow myself a smart phone), and I know I became more present. But I also felt out of touch with my clients and work, which didn’t suit me at all. So, I’m researching and feeling my way.

Because I don’t like my thoughts to be tabs in my own brain’s server. Rather, I want them to be directed streams of energy... full of joy and emotion and feeling... full of power which can be picked up on from the universal source that can bring in more of the same.

Life is exciting when we allow it to be and a scattered brain, leads to nothing. It’s full of deadends and the attraction point is simply chaos.

Vibrational Focus!

Want a focus exercise?
 Find an overall vibrational focus... an image of something that feels wonderful. Be it the feeling of being on a family bike ride, or being by the beach... something that resonates with freedom and order and fun and laughter. Something that resonates with your dream day.

Rest your tongue against your teeth, at the bottom of your mouth and simply allow the feeling of the thought flow over you. Stay there for a few moments.

When you are doing this short exercise, you are actually training your focus to reach a vibrational goal. You are feeling something strongly and holding it.. allowing it to build and show up in your day.

If we can teach ourselves to do this first thing in the morning we are simply making a suggestion to the universal source about what we want to feel more of... and then we can let the day flow in accordingly.

So, I’d like to hear what your favorite feeling space is? What’s an image that calls it up?

And if you focus on it... does your day flow in with that same feeling? Easily unfolding in joy?

And if you want to pop over to the FB Group or Page to share your intentions and focuses... it’s a great way to explore how they feel and to share with others.

Because together, we can help create a stronger focus and radiate Who We Really Are.

The six year old philosopher

Its two days before he turns six. Am I allowed to take a moment? Sigh.

Six is such a big thing for me. It’s the space between little boy and boy. It’s when he’s suddenly expected to help a bit more, be a bit more thoughtful, more considerate. It’s when he graduates to full team member. There are benefits and definite drawbacks for the youngest of a family.

Lying in bed being put to sleep he asks the question that always sparks a new phase in my book. He’s been making the six transition in so many ways lately... but tonight he crossed over.

“Mom, I don’t get it. Who made the first person?”

Thank our pregnant kitty cat for teaching him the birds and the bees young. Farm life is always such a great source of information.

Not wanting to influence his sense of ancestry and knowing that he was probably closer to knowing the answer than “grown ups” I simply answered with a “There’s a lot of different ideas, what do you think?”

He paused thoughtfully watching his fish.

“I think God married someone and then people were made.” Another pause. “Nah, I think probably God made us, He can do anything.”

Now I’m going to interrupt here for a second. Our little (not so little) boy has an interesting concept of God. We’ve kept the concept of God general, without doctrine, allowing everyone to have their own relationship, their own ah-ha discovery. We’ve passed on that there is Universal, unseen power, and that it is Love. They know I have quick chats with the power and meditation is God time. But there’s not been many semantics. I want them to experience their own magical stories of deep understanding.

So, in keeping with that, I’ve found it interesting to hear our boy’s thoughts. From a young age he’s talked about God in passing. It’s become regular conversation to hear him say “Oh yeah, when I was with God I saw that... or went there... or did that.” He believes we come back after death, he likes to talk about what he’ll come back as. I know he’s been here before.

So, I was curious to hear his version of creation vs evolution.

I told him about different ideas of creation stories. Which he took in stride and then I told him Darwin’s theory.

He burst out laughing. “That’s silly.” He replied.

I suggested sometimes people resemble apes or monkeys.

“Only in a Monkey suit mom.”

Now I know, Creation vs Evolution etc... hot topics I’m sure. But this isn’t saying anything about my perspectives or even proofs or theories. This is my boy’s. Our six year old boy. Sigh. (another moment)

Don’t you find it interesting that the more magical story, the more loving story, the enlightened spiritual story is the one that makes sense to him? The scientific, matter of fact, in your face story- is just silly.

We live in strange times. My husband pulled up this youtube video last night about this underground city.... an extensive catacomb of underground apartments created thousands of years ago. Scientists and Archaeologists are baffled at how and why this sort of construction could have been designed and created all that time ago. The program was made by History.com and after describing the skill and miraculous structure they turned to the why. Their solution... some sort of Alien Invasion.

I’ve heard a lot about the theories of Aliens inspiring and creating things on earth lately. It seems to be the new default for things we can’t understand. We can’t have a spiritually inspired person, they must be possessed. We can’t have divine inspiration it must be from outer space. Our concepts of magic and wonder must be squished into a little box. One where things add up and make sense.

Do we always need outside data? Isn’t it a little exciting to look within our inner most hearts to hear truth?

I could have answered my boy’s question tonight with an answer. I could have chosen a system to believe and relayed it to him, forming his young mind to believe that I have all the answers. That I know the truth... when I don’t. I know what feels right to me, but it might not feel right to him. So, he was asked to answer first. It felt good. I told him it felt good.

Not silly at all. Just a little bit lovely, a little bit magical... and a little bit like a six year old growing up.

A Child Isn't a Joke

The situation would be frowned upon if it was about race or gender, but if it’s about children, society has no problem cracking a joke.

A seemingly harmless Facebook status about how hard it is to concentrate on work when surrounded by cute kids opens a gateway for generalized comments and jokes, such as “they’ll be doing something disgusting soon enough” or “Imagine them 10 years down the road stealing your car.” Somehow, even just the two word response “beat them” is considered funny. 

What? When did it become okay to make that sort of comment? 

Why is an age slur different than a race one and when are we as a society going to start treating our children as respected citizens?

2015 started off with many heated debates regarding free speech and what it meant. With the horrifying tragedies in Paris, some still questioned whether ridicule and criticism regarding any group was a fair representation of free speech. I have a problem with the statement “people should learn how to take a joke” especially since we are consistently battling bullying for our children in the schools. It feels like a mixed message.

We tell our children not to hurt others and to respect differences. We tell them to help others smaller than themselves, to see people as individuals and not stereotype groups. We encourage them to accept that others have different beliefs and cultures, but then, in grown up society, we can mock, sneer and jeer at whomever and whatever as long as it has a certain quality of wit. 

When I commented on the Facebook comment thread, simply saying that my kids were too incredible to be distracted from, I was told that “everyone loves their kids, but they like to laugh too.” I was being a killjoy. Because I was suggesting that children, individual human beings, who are at the beginning of learning about life, who are often struggling to adapt to adult surroundings and being expected to know how to be without being taught in simple steps, CHILDREN shouldn’t be laughed at, labelled as simply cute and stereotyped as people headed for trouble.

Is it social media that has us so cut off from basic consideration for others, both individually and as groups? Are we so desperately in search of that funny status that we’ll make fun of our loved ones or anyone standing too close?

I don’t even understand how it comes about. Why are children so often, generalized negatively when we were all young once? It’s not like different cultures where unless you live and breathe them it’s difficult to fully feel what they are. I remember being a child and my attempts at learning as I went along. Generalizing how I was going to behave based on my age often did me harm. In fact it left me isolated and confused. You remember, don’t you, that feeling of walking into a store and the staff watching you intently, and convinced you were going to sneak something into a pocket, all the while knowing it was usually the least suspecting that would shoplift.

In my mind any ridiculing of any stereotyped version of a group does one thing: it perpetuates more of that perspective. The power of words is that they create, they empower their message. The more we put focus on the mess children can create in their explorations, rather than on the excitement of their explorations themselves, the more it’s the mess we see. The more we comment on our children’s downfalls, even generalized downfalls which other people have made a joke of, the more we look to our children to back it up and the more we have a distorted view of who they are. It is like a projector goes up between us and them, and the image we watch of them is simply an image, no longer capable of personal connection.

My children and I laugh all the time. We joke about and have been known to raise passing people’s eyebrows with our giggles and goofy behaviour. However, they are being raised with the care not to make fun of things. If you make fun of something beautiful, even a fairytale, you will never see it the same way again. If you mock something then be prepared for your perspective to change forever. We’ve all occasionally watched a skit on a show like Saturday Night Live and repeat it in our minds with a laugh whenever we hear about the issue or person again. It’s the comic’s greatest legacy and responsibility to shift perspective to the humorous side. Do we want to change perspective of how we see our children?

We’re an ever evolving and developing human race. We are suppose to be forever moving forward, but we have to ask ourselves, can’t we learn that bullying is bullying, no matter the age or the cause, and that no victim should have to be told to “take a joke”. Verbal abuse is often in the form of ridicule and it is abuse, whether directed at one person or at a group, and generalization of children, like any group of people, simply creates walls against seeing people as individuals.

Our children, just like ourselves, are individuals. They sometimes make messes, make mistakes and occasionally act ridiculously cute, just like us. It’s all the process of this thing called life and all of us often need a helping hand of support not to be the butt of a Facebook joke.