One Small Shift

Today, I want to talk about the small shifts that equal bigger changes and how this affects our parenting and our children. So often, especially in our off moments, in our times of disconnection, we see things that can be better within our family element.... we see things we wish would change in our children, be it their bedtime or the interaction between siblings or the communication between us and them. Maybe it’s screen time... or scream time.  No matter what it is... as our children grow, things change and in those changes its best to be as conscious as we can, so we can create the journey, not drive blindfolded.

The secret lies in the energy of Who We Are... who our Children are and the, sort of, build up that occurs throughout our days. Let’s call it vibrational plague.

We all form habits, in my family we form them quickly, habits of routine, of activity, of certain foods we eat regularly, or even games played, or television shows watched even just the stories we tell ourselves. One of my daughters will text a friend regularly, another one will be more on games than school apps... both things can make them feel antsy and on edge. These things can be looked at as no big deal. It’s summer, things are up in the air... we’ve all had a hectic time what with traveling etc.  We all get edgey . We’re unwinding.

But often things build... and it doesn’t necessarily make it bad, just something to be aware of. Because when things build and suddenly pop up on the surface and we really notice that we need a change we can flip and worry and almost panic that life has gone crazy and out of control.

 But a little shift is often all it takes.

Yes, it can be a shift in our perspective for sure. That’s always the first place to start because if we are in a panic about how life is flowing there’s no way to get it to flow. If we are so busy noticing the things that aren’t working... we’ll never notice the things that are. So, first shift is to trust. Trust the offness and trust that because everyone’s felt off, or gone a few steps in a direction away from who they really are... they will know themselves so much more. That the offness increases the vibrancy of the Connection.

And then do something ridiculously simple.

Change something.

Wake up at a different time. Eat outside. Put on fun music throughout the house. Move around furniture. Go out to a new restaurant or a new park or a new route to school.

A shift starts with us. No one can change if we can’t. Habits are simply patterns we get used to.

Or we don’t.

Something happens in the little shifts. Everyone notices them... or rather everyone feels them. And with that change in energy a ripple effect occurs. The Law of Attraction kicks in... joy kicks in and everything feels different.

People put down devices and dance instead.... or they smell new smells, taste new tastes.

The energy of the house changes and with that, old patterns just don’t fit the same way anymore.

Only you can find the energy shift that matches your particular circumstance (although you can always ask for help in finding it. You are never alone, remember) You can feel your way to a little shift.

It’s a whole lot easier than trying to fix it all at once.

And then I’d love to hear the story of how life opens up and you and your family step into the new with that first step.

Mindfulness and Running on Empty

You want to know something really funny.

As someone who will be talking about mindfulness in parenting in the upcoming Get Happy Project (Which you should definitely sign up for!) ... as someone who coaches parents about mindful parenting and someone who writes, eats, sleeps, and parents... with mindfulness as a foundational philosophy....

I’ve rarely written about it on this blog. Sigh.

Life can be funny sometimes.

So, let’s talk about it here and now. What is mindfulness or does it go deeper than that?

There are so many ways I feel can describe a mindful living... or an aware living.

Living in awareness to Who We Really Are, allows us to bump our mindful practices up in the list of priorities. Being aware of who we are, is like knowing that there is this phenomenal room, a place of quiet, peace and a sense of everything we are, that when we enter it we know we will be refueled and refreshed.

It could also be described as the inner gas station.

If you are aware that there’s as gas station down the street, and you start to run out of petrol... you won’t hesitate in fueling up.

Self awareness, mindfulness is the process of filling up your tank or of retreating to your inner room so you can continue through your day as your truest self. It helps create patience, clarity, relief and joy.

But it also creates the space where you can feel the stress, acknowledge the tension and sense of overwhelment, and shift it around. Spiritual awareness and mindfulness don’t automatically create a happier existence rather it puts you back in the driver’s seat capable of putting focus on feeling better and finding calm, happiness and perspective.

So, what are some techniques for mindfulness? Well, first of all, finding the sense of awareness.

Awareness begins by simply observing yourself and learning who you are. What triggers your stress, what jumps you into appreciation, who are you when your eyes are closed and life quiets for a moment...

Meditation is about setting the stage for that observation.

Life is hectic, and fast and throw children and chores on top of it all and our heads can go, we spin out of control as we attempt to listen to everyone, play, organize, drive, and keep things flowing. We feel energies deplete and focus scatter... if we are aware enough to know how it feels.

Three simple steps to get started are;

Close your eyes.

 Breathe Deeply. 

Let the energy fall from your tense head, down through your body to your feet.

Repeat.

You become yourself... fully you. Mindful of you. Drawing yourself into the moment and becoming present.

And now, you can continue through the day. Simply by stopping like this, you are telling your true self “I know you are there. What would you do?” You are acknowledging your own mindfulness.

Mindful practice ranges in so many ways; from this sort of observation, to watching a sunset... or a sunrise, to a sitting meditation for a few moments, to a walking meditation, to dancing or singing, or shifting focus to a garden, music, or coloring... anything that achieves a space where you can be yourself and retreat to the inner room within your spiritual self. It is the key to your inner room, and from there, life flows more, solutions click into place and we perceive our children’s own inner workings with so much more clarity.

There is a golden moment when we drop into a space of ourselves. When we connect to our deeper source, our sense of divine and understand it to be a truer sense of ourselves and when that truer sense is driving the car of our family, we know we are all in safer hands and will go further...

Than if we hadn’t stopped to fuel up.

It’s not about having time or not. It’s not about bothering. Rather it’s about forming a habit like eating healthier to give your body energy, you are doing a spirit check to give your soul energy.

This is the foundational belief of mindful parenting... and Spiritual Aware Parenting.

And yes, sometimes we forget to fuel up. Sometimes we get stressed and run out of gas somewhere between overwhelmed and flipping out.

But if we’ve practiced the awareness of how we like to feel and how it feels to be Who We Really Are... we remember...

And we call ourselves back to ourselves, one breath at a time.

By the way... The Get Happy Project is going to be an incredible online summit, with guests specializing in a range of self care techniques and trainings. Definitely sign up and I'll see you there! :) 

The Blame Game

Reconsider what you are saying when the sentence starts with the word “You”.

I told this to my children early on and hold it as a personal principle.

Why? Because, words hurt, but also the way we use those words, the tone and order we place them, conveys meaning and intention deeper than we can imagine. As a writer and energy sensitive person I feel words deeply and value how they make me and others feel... especially when it involves loved ones.

“You hurt me.” “You made a mess.” “You’re too loud.”

On an energy place these phrases feel so off, so targeted and separated.

The meaning can easily be expressed without the feeling of judgement.

“I got hurt.” “This is messy.” “Let’s be quiet.”

Ah... so much better.

And it can work with naming others as well.

This came up in a FB thread I was part of last week. A woman couldn’t understand her husband taking offense and feeling unsupported whenever he tried to deal with their son’s tantrums. He always did it in a way that rubbed the woman the wrong way and she would always tell her son, in front of the dad...
“I know Daddy upset you and hurt your feelings. He wants you to come to dinner. I know you want to play.” Ouch.

Pronouns can be used to build and support... or crush and demoralize, especially if we have hidden resentment or anger towards the other person. Their name, or the infamous YOU, can serve as a dagger, without any fingerprints.

“Imagine rephrasing it, so it didn’t paint anyone as the bad guy.” I wrote the woman. “Imagine saying... I know you want to keep playing, but we are having dinner now. I’m sorry if you got hurt feelings, we just need you to come to the table. We’ll play together after.”

No accusations, no mixed messages to their son, no guilt, judgement, or criticism. Maybe not as satisfying, but definitely more loving.

Just the “Royal We!” As someone commented. Yes, “we” resonates so much better.

But when we are used to the blame game how do we find the alternative? How do we shift from the place of accusation, when we feel it is simply taking the blame on ourselves?

We shout “why should I take on the blame when it’s not my fault?”

By simply choosing to radiate love instead and removing fault all together.

State the situation, say how you feel about something, but by removing the blame, you keep mistakes, simply that; mistakes, missteps, learning experiences.

Imagine when you were little and you were doing something you probably shouldn’t be and suddenly you break a family heirloom... or a vase from the dollar store, whichever. You feel badly enough, and silently decide you should have been more careful. You’ve helped clear it up, said sorry to your mom or dad, and learnt from the experience.

Then someone else asks about the vase and you hear... “(your name) broke it.”

You feel sick, guilty and un-forgiven. You will never live it down.

All it would have taken is “It got broken.”

Hearing that, you would still feel responsible, you would reconfirm your promise to take more care... but you wouldn’t carry the shame for life, just the lesson.

Also, imagine being the parent, and feeling the words pass through your lips. It simply feels better to let go of the blame, and stay general.

When we follow our hearts and joy we realize it’s better to feel happy than right. Pointing out who is doing what falls low on the feeling good list, just as the feeling we have to make our children feel small for them to be controlled. Simply altering a few simple words can make it about learning, or working together, vs control, blame and laying guilt.

“YOU”... or the accusing name blame game... replaced with a general situation explanation.

Is the difference between our children being raised with insecurities or self awareness.

What Spiritually Aware Parenting can look like.

As I was sitting at the park yesterday, watching all three of our children playing in their own style )I love how my 13 year old still plays wildly at the park, in her 5’10” height and her fashionista manners... she resonates with herself, willingly leaping on top of any swinging bridge or seesaw. She’s not worried about other people’s opinions, and it’s that gift that gives me some comfort in seeing her grow up so quickly) another scene caught my eye... my people watching skills couldn’t help but notice, an older gentleman and his, what must have been, his twin grandsons. He was with two other people, but his focus was on the boys... not on them, rather WITH Them... his focus was with them, and I watched in wonder as he logged off from everything else and simply enjoyed their play.

It reminded me of the downloadable guide, called “4 simple steps to pushing the Reset Button.”I have over on my website. Broken down in 4 easy steps, memorable by being in 4 “L” letter words... the steps take you from chaos to connection and help you find your inner compass again. Well, the first “L” step in my guide is to LOG OFF, and whereas it can literally  mean to log off, to get off of Facebook and Twitter and draw your focus into what’s in your moment, this man reminded me of the spiritual focus that can come from logging off from your outer world and logging in to your children’s.

The second “L” is to Let Go... again, it means what you will it to. Let go of results, let go of stress... breathe and allow.

The third “L” is Listen... to yourself, to your children.

And the Fourth is to Love.

This Gentleman, in the 5 minutes that I watched him, seemed to capture the essence of all 4 steps and it was a beautiful thing to see.

He came into the playground, and called to the boys to try out the seesaw, he wasn’t scattered in his thoughts, scanning his phone or even the other children, he simply talked to them about how the seesaw worked and how wonderful it was that they were the same size, so it would all balance out.

One of his friends came up, and rather than engaging in some “grown up” talk, they both started discussing with the boys how gravity worked on their bodies if they swayed to the centre or pulled away. They talked about not getting off too quickly, but to talk to the person on the other end so no one got hurt. The talk was focused, not scattered, no one rushed for words or stressed out when one boy almost got off from the top, and both men felt free to talk with each other... not just scatteredly to each other. Everyone was engaged and focused.

The children both learnt so much in their time there and the gentleman was so grounded in Who He Really Is. He wasn’t hesitant, but joyful. He didn’t question himself or others rather he was within himself in the moment and his focus, his moment was being spent with his two grandsons. Mind chatter and ponderings were being put on hold for another time.

We all get stressed sometimes. All of us. We all get scattered and chattered. We all get in knots.

But awareness of how we feel is a burst of fresh air to the soul. It reminds us of the power of the moment, where life resides.

When I first started giving people the 4 “L” points, they felt horrible when they forgot them somewhere in their downloads as if reading it through a couple of times was a magic solution to stress. Rather it’s an on going process absorbing the steps and imputing them into our daily habits. Sometimes it takes the image of an older gentleman, patiently enjoying his two grandsons, controlling his focus and giving attention to his moment and not questioning where his focus should be to remind ourselves what Spiritual Aware Living really looks like.

We all get stressed sometimes, I’m sure even the gentleman in the park has his moments, but it’s with the awareness of how that feels that we can find that logged off focus, when we can let it go, listen and love. It’s an ebb and flow kind of growth... and one that thrives better when it’s down with support and community.
I appreciate that gentleman, wherever he is, so much. For he radiated a grounded peace throughout the playground that day and reminded me the power of focus, logging off, listening and most of all Love.

If you want to download the guide to Push the Reset Button, you can find it here

Tips to find Focus and use its Power!

Wanna know one the most interesting thing about our children and ourselves now a-days?

We all have problems with focus.

We think we’ve got it down. That we can focus when we “put our mind to it.” But in truth, we’re continually flipping from one thing to another, and that’s where life gets incredibly scattered.

I like to compare it to tabs on an internet browser. We all do it. We all have our email tab open at the same time as our social media. We all come up with some idea of something to check up, so we surf a bit for a solution, at the same time waiting for a notification. We are a generation of distraction and we’re passing that on to our children.

Our children are scattered and then they are getting into trouble for not focusing.

So, what is focus, really? Is it simply the ability to put attention on something for a specific period of time? Is it the concentration on a project or the ability to stick to one job until it’s completed?

Currently, I have children doing schoolwork downstairs, I have some laundry that needs to be done, I just cleaned up the kitchen, but was thinking about this post while I was doing it... I’ve promised a son I’m taking him to the park in 20 minutes and I’m awaiting responses to some emails.

It feels a little pushed and pulled in my opinion.

Also, I just had to shift gears on a webinar I was planning and change it to a course, so somewhere in my subconscious I’m designing that, so all in all, I could be really stressed and scattered if I wasn’t aware of it.

I believe focus is more than just about zero-ing in on one thing at a time.

Focus is about intention... and intention is about aligned energy.

It’s the wish-washyness of indecisiveness that creates chaos. Once we line up to some intention, everything seems to flow within that direction.

Often guilt, or the super-mommy complex gets in the way and within that one poisonous thought of “when I focus on that, surely my children will just be aimless...” that we run around trying to “set them up”, before taking care of our own energy direction.

But then, you ask, how do we choose the direction if we’re so scattered we don’t know how to form priorities.

First step... meditate.

It doesn’t need to be a long sit down meditation. Rather its the simple concept of gathering your thoughts and energy to form a focused stream. Imagine your thoughts... each creating energy.. and you simply focus on the energy for a moment... letting it gather in front of you.

Create that ball of light and love in front of you, reminding yourself that there is nothing more important to that to radiate as yourself before you do anything else.

By that focus of feeling grounded in Who You Really Are... you then allow inspiration and other universal powers to help you lay out your intentions.

So... first breathe. Breathe in for the count of 5... hold for the count of 5... and exhale for the count of 5.

Repeat 5 times.

Now, you might find you’ve forgotten what was so scattered and the day feels clearer.

Next... very pragmatically, I usually write a brief list.

No specific order... just what would feel nice to have accomplished in the day... and then I put it in an easy order to let it flow through.

But... let’s face it... we have children and sometimes plans are made to be broken. Sometimes, sandtables need to be played with, or we need to jump on a trampoline.. sometimes we need to break all order to have some fun.

Next remind yourself that that’s where life shows up... in between plans.

and in that aligned energy of your day... allow things to show up. When you've started with meditation, than you can sense the energy of what's flowing in. You can line up to taking a break from your list. You can show up with your children at the park, rather than letting the back thoughts in of "I should be doing something else..." So lining up to the moment is also a trick of focus.

I’m working on own focus, really. I’m working on my social media consumption and how to schedule it rather than be absorbed by it. When we were travelling on the road I had no access (I won’t allow myself a smart phone), and I know I became more present. But I also felt out of touch with my clients and work, which didn’t suit me at all. So, I’m researching and feeling my way.

Because I don’t like my thoughts to be tabs in my own brain’s server. Rather, I want them to be directed streams of energy... full of joy and emotion and feeling... full of power which can be picked up on from the universal source that can bring in more of the same.

Life is exciting when we allow it to be and a scattered brain, leads to nothing. It’s full of deadends and the attraction point is simply chaos.

Vibrational Focus!

Want a focus exercise?
 Find an overall vibrational focus... an image of something that feels wonderful. Be it the feeling of being on a family bike ride, or being by the beach... something that resonates with freedom and order and fun and laughter. Something that resonates with your dream day.

Rest your tongue against your teeth, at the bottom of your mouth and simply allow the feeling of the thought flow over you. Stay there for a few moments.

When you are doing this short exercise, you are actually training your focus to reach a vibrational goal. You are feeling something strongly and holding it.. allowing it to build and show up in your day.

If we can teach ourselves to do this first thing in the morning we are simply making a suggestion to the universal source about what we want to feel more of... and then we can let the day flow in accordingly.

So, I’d like to hear what your favorite feeling space is? What’s an image that calls it up?

And if you focus on it... does your day flow in with that same feeling? Easily unfolding in joy?

And if you want to pop over to the FB Group or Page to share your intentions and focuses... it’s a great way to explore how they feel and to share with others.

Because together, we can help create a stronger focus and radiate Who We Really Are.

A Lesson in Energy for Quick Relief

One of the tools I find the most helpful in finding quick connection I found through learning Energy healing a few years ago. In fact, my daughters took the course with me as well, and I’ve witnessed how they interweave the teachings through their lives. The idea of grounding themselves, or observing their own energy blocks has been an incredible tool for self awareness.

But, I digress. The information and practice of increasing flow of energy is something I often pass on to clients and they’ve often mentioned how much it has helped them through their days.

So, I wanted to share it with all of you today.

We are energy beings. If you’ve heard of chakras then you know we have energy points through our bodies which, when aligned and with a clear path keep us as perfect conduits between the earth and spirit. We are spiritual, physical and emotional expressed through energy.

Its often taught that we can align our energy from our core root chakra, near the base of our spine and then focus upwards, clearing each chakra or energy point along the way.

However, I usually offer this...

As a society we spend so much time in our heads. Over the past 15 years we have become about information over physical expression. As the saying goes, “where attention goes, energy flows...”

So, in that case, our energy is stored in our heads, resulting in overstress, headaches, brain chatter and over thinking.

You know that snowballing feeling, when things build and build, thought upon thought? It starts with a little seed of something and then suddenly you feel like the world is falling upon your shoulders. Well, its a clear sign that energy needs to flow elsewhere.

But the ironic part of that is when you are in your thoughts you resist not thinking, or focusing on something else. Rather, the snowball continues, asking you to figure out “what should I think about to stop all this thinking?”

And I reply.... “focus on your feet.”

Sounds silly, I know. But, by shifting your attention to your feet, wiggling your toes, circling your ankles, soaking them in a tub or simply thinking about the feeling of the floor beneath them, you are drawing attention away from your head and allowing your energy to move down to the earth... through your central core. You are officially grounding yourself.

Imagine how this feels when you are running around, stressed out, juggling schedules lunches, phone calls and children’s shouts for help.

Breathe, relax, FEET. Sigh.

It really does work.

For those who have worked with me or been on my page for awhile, you might have heard me talk about the elevator meditation, which is a technique to bring your attention down to your ground level. To watch a video showing how to use it over at my channel.

The simple process of guiding your consciousness from your top floor, floor ten, around your head, and counting backwards, imagining an inner elevator shaft through your centre, helps you become aware of where your energy is.

You can feel your attention shift to floor 6 around your heart.

And then move down to 4 around your navel.

But then you get distracted and you think about something you have to do... back to floor 10.

Finally you find your moment in the present. Floor 1. Ground floor. Relax.

The more you practice this short meditation, the easier you find where you are on your core shaft , the more you sense your essence and how grounded you are. You can literally find what floor you are at within moments.

As energy beings we create through focus. Things go well when we are aligned with Who We Really Are and when we are grounded in the present moment, so the first key to being true to ourselves and being a spiritually aware parent is to find that inner sense of energy, and help it flow.

I love passing these sort of quick centering techniques onto clients.

 If you haven’t yet, please visit my website for more information and quick techniques to feeling better!

Road trip lessons on being true to yourself

My family and I hit the road in our Dodge Caravan just before Christmas. We’d been promising our children and ourselves some travel and adventure, and it fell into the perfect time. It was one of those “go for it” moments, and luckily, as people who work online, we were able to jump at it.

What I love about traveling is how we are all together, in close proximity. Really close. Even our dog from his crate is readily involved.

2015 was a busy year. Between coaching, launching e-coaching packages and new groups, planning workshops and webinars and not counting home schooling, renovating and parenting new born kittens, it seemed like life was running full steam ahead. But, when we get into the car for a roadtrip, my whole family seems to land full on, in the moment. We sit, we talk, we sing, we think and ponder. It’s just meandering and I think it allows all of us to grow and get to know ourselves better.

Ironically, on this road trip, we’ve been sporadically staying with family and that adds such a different element to getting to know oneself. It sometimes feels like its seeing ourselves in a periscope... and I don’t mean the app.

Last summer, my husband and I both experimented with offering our work through video. We practiced being in front of the camera, and observed how we got new self awareness by simply watching ourselves. I got to know my facial expressions, my nervous ticks, but also my signs of feeling comfortable and how I sounded when I was confident in my favorite topics.

But when we stay with family whom we haven’t seen since we were younger, and then they meet our children, whom they barely know (but who look remarkably like we did when we were younger) then a few things get observed... and it can throw an interesting turn.

You know that feeling, the old school reunion feeling, when you wonder why the moment you see people who used to know you, you start acting in the same way that you used to. Suddenly, you act like the school clown, or the stylish fashionista. Suddenly, people are making assumptions and comments based on their old ideas of who you presented yourself to be. What’s funny, is that usually, when we were younger, we rarely presenting ourselves as who we really were!

Well, being with family is similar. Old habits, thought processes and reactions get stirred up. People expect you to present yourself as something you haven’t been in years, and somewhere in that, you rise to the expectation, and only show them that side they expect.

SO, first reaction, is to fight against it. We crave to show the new and improved version, we hunt out moments to show up as ourselves and to state new perspectives. But, because we’re trying too hard, it usually lands with a flop. The look crosses over a relatives’ faces... “there she goes again. She always was dramatic.” You hear their thoughts say.

But, we crave understanding right? We want to yell it from the rooftops... “Stop and get to know the real me!”... but, the more we push, the less authentic we feel. Push and pulling, we disconnect from the very core being of ourselves we’re so eager for everyone to meet.

So, in the long run, it’s finally a question of giving up. With a little meditation, a lot of breathing, and some skyward glances, we simply let everyone thing what they want, what they believe.

It’s more important to be happy than right anyway.

And yet, in that split second of release, that very moment when we decide to not care what people think and just be ourselves, we stop pushing against it, and allow ourselves to show up again, in all glory. We feel like ourselves again and, when we forget to notice, it radiates out from us. We are one again, in who we really are.

And through those eyes, we realize something. In all our concerns and self consciousness, those people who’s mind we were trying to change... were doing the same thing with us all along and we were doing the same to them.

Yes, I admit it. I sometimes remember people’s past when being in their present. I sometimes think of them as who they were, without allowing their new selves to shine through.

We are all on a journey of expansive growth. We live, learn, grow, explore and expand. Versions of ourselves come and go with new perspectives and it is a glorious ride. It’s not about proving where we are on the ride to anyone... there’s not a measuring stick or scale that we’re being held against. We know who we are, when we allow our thoughts to become quiet enough to hear it and when we allow it to flow from us, than we radiate it out for all the world to feel.

We have to trust our own journey, and know that other’s are on their own.

Their own journey... from a parent’s perspective that also means our children’s journey as well.

There’s the third step in all of this, the next generation. I can look at my daughters and assume they like the same thing they did two year ago, I can assume my son wants me to put him to sleep, rather than allow him that choice. We can keep anyone, including our children, imprisoned in the concepts we hold for them, based on the past or our perspective.

Or we can free ourselves of any concept of another, allowing them to show up as themselves this moment... and giving ourselves permission to do the same.

What sign are you holding up? The Law of Attraction and how it works.

I keep talking about the law of attraction lately, which suggests it’s time to write about it.

After all, it’s something I work with continually and offer clarity on with all my clients and in my workshops and groups. It can spark a pretty positive shift when the power of the universe is suddenly working with you and how you feel.

Wayne Dyer said it so beautifully when he stated that “The Law of attraction isn’t about what you want, it’s about Who You Are!”

But what does that mean exactly and if “who we are” is a parent?

Who we are....

Remember, we are energy beings. We have a current of energy ever flowing, call it life, love, source, spirit or just... plain old energy... that’s what we are. But what we also know is that our focus, our feeling space radiates through that energy. The frequency of that energy shifts on how we feel, and what we put focus on.

So... imagine that with that focus, that energy emitting off of you, it’s like a blazing sign being held up to Source, like a bat signal of spirit, and it says “More of this please.”

That means, if you are frustrated for anything more than a few moments, then the frustration sign gets held up, asking for more frustration. The universe answers and gives you more to feel frustrated about.

But... the same goes with joy, appreciation, happiness. When we shift focus to things that FEEL better, than we hold up that sign and allow more of life to flow in that vibration.

So, consider, for a moment, life being really “hard”, everything is going wrong and falling apart. You are never on time, you are always out of money and the house is a mess. Everyone is sick and you just can’t get done what needs to be done. Life has snowballed out of control... and the more that’s the story, the more it really is the story.

It can be turned around in with gradual shifting to telling a different story.. simply by finding the things that feel better.

From stroking your beautiful pet, to admiring a sunrise, to enjoying a meal (or starbucks) or even just making lists of things you appreciate, slowly you turn the wheel of your focus to a place where you feel relief and in that... you find your essence of who you are. Literally, completely focusing on the good stuff and simply observing the negative stuff, turns to dial. That feeling gets held up on that sign to the universe and then, more life supports that feeling space.

So, what role does the law of attraction play into parenting? Oh boy, a really big one!

Each time we focus on our children’s negative behavior, the more it flows in.

Each time we focus on a dirty house, the more it keeps dirty.

Each time we focus on how there’s not enough time, that we have to do too much alone, that no one listens, that we don’t know what to do... Sign is up, sign is up, sign is up.

Each time we focus on our children’s playful laughter.

Each time we hold them that little longer, appreciating them with our whole hearts.

Each time we stop focusing on being late and enjoy the puttering meanderings... suddenly we get there on time, or everyone else was late too.

Each time we say it’s ok if bedtime goes a little later for that extra story, a child asks to go to bed earlier (it can happen.)

Each time we focus on enjoying our children, we see more opportunities to play, interact and laugh with them, we find new experiences, notice how they’ve grown, and truly connect with them as our authentic selves.

And then, as we shift, our children learn about this tangible focus machine that they are, and start to use it for good. Suddenly, whining seems futile as you just get more to whine about, and appreciating seems to be smart. Suddenly letting life flow in, rather than demanding it gets pushed through, seems more natural. Which of course it is.

Life’s never a complicated as we like to make out it is and you know what, even when we have bad times, when we snowball and spiral, is all good. Because when we snowball it’s just us feeling the way we DON’T want to feel in order to feel the bliss of when we shift it. We didn’t come to be perfectly aligned all the time, then we wouldn’t grow, we wouldn’t know difference,

we would be like a candle in the sun. Sometimes you can only shine bright, when you are in the muddle of darkness for a bit.

And then, you see a sunrise.

Life is good, we came to enjoy it and ride it and play. When we know that we can feel good to our core and then it all clicks into place it offers us a practical tool to make better days.. it snowballs.

So, the only question we ever need to ask when things go screwy is “what sign am I holding up?”

And then shift accordingly.
Click on this link to view a great mantra for a focus shift.
https://youtu.be/yNbSvHO6H3U

5 Tips to Feel Better Around Family Over the Holidays

It’s twelve days before Christmas and already I can feel the tension building...

Hmmm... come to think of it my shopping list is way behind... oh well. I have some general ideas brewing. I’m sure they will unfold beautifully.

Yes. That’s my approach to everything lately:  I look forward to the unfolding.

But as someone who has her three kids, spouse and dog staying in a large home with my sister and her family, other people’s approaches, traditions and functioning is foremost on my mind.

It’s a holiday tradition in itself isn’t? The feeling of uncertainty regarding family, friends and the melting pot that often turns into a pressure pot over the holiday festivities. It could almost be funny if it wasn’t so painful sometimes, as we all get that sense of dread, wondering will it all be ok.

So, I’m compiling a quick list of how to survive a family holiday gathering... a Coles notes as it were... a cheat sheet on how to keep the love flowing and everything unfolding beautifully.

1)      Find your inner connection... and be able to do it quickly.

When do you feel the best? What thoughts make you settle into a space that rings out as YOU. Within us is a space, an inner room, that we let go of everything that bothers us, stresses us and makes us feel awkward, insecure or worried. Rather we sit back in the gentle space of Who We Really Are. But often these times are fleeting, and when we find them we appreciate them, but we don’t know how we got there. When do you feel most like yourself? What thought creates that space for you?

We can all find shortcuts that trigger a feeling space of Who We Really Are, it just takes a bit of focus and good habits. Often, if we have a crystal, a piece of jewelry, a symbol or trigger point, that reminds us that of Who We Really Are and how we want to be Spiritually Aware each moment. With that simple reminder, we can jump from the reactionary space amongst our family into a grounded space, an observatory perspective, which allows us to see the situation as the whole, not as the chaos. From this space, life flows, new solutions are found and things fall into place.

2)      Not my Circus, Not my Monkeys.

One of my new favorite sayings, it really is all about what’s your business and what’s not. As family we’re usually the first to jump to a sibling’s defense (even if we haven’t a clue what they’ve been up to all year) or the first to make some little joke or comment to fill the social silence gap. But Not my Circus means- my life My monkeys means- the components of that life.

If your uncle Dave is talking about how your Aunt Sue drives him crazy and spends too much... you don’t have to take sides. Change the topic. Stay in your own circus If its anything like mine, it’s enough to handle. When we let go of other people’s business we not only shift priority to our own lives (and usually our children) we also empower people to focus on their own monkeys. This can go as far as telling yourself not to even TALK about OTHER PEOPLE! No gossip and suddenly you open yourself up to a world of better feelings and wider conversations. And it can start with just you. Not my Circus, Not my Monkeys is about empowerment for everyone, and it can start with you.

3)      Find The Third Choice.

Sleeping arrangements being argued over... be Switzerland... and rather than getting attached to one side of the argument open yourself up to another solution, be the space finder. This is done only through taking a step away from the situation, remembering that time is illusionary and nothing needs to be rushed. Sometimes we all get so caught up to make a point it seems like whoever speaks the loudest and fastest wins. Breathe, take a step away, find some quiet, offer the problem up and ask for a solution. You might find that while everyone else was spinning around, life unfolded in your space and ideas flowed in. Everyone else will have wasted their breath and emotional focus, and you simply let it be and evolve.

4)      Each for Each.

Diversity is a gift. When we allow others to think differently, believe differently, live differently, we create a space where we get to do the same thing. Also, the law of attraction kicks in as well. We truly do get what we give. The Golden Rule, of Treating People The Way We WANT to be Treated, does literally work. When we acknowledge that another person’s way isn’t Our Way, but ok for them, we send out the feeling space of love, understanding, compassion and acceptance. By living in that space, we radiate that energy out, and create more of the same. We always get what we put out.

Therefore the old saying of Each for Each is What I Teach, isn’t just for children in a nursery rhyme, rather it’s a quick reminder that “seclusion isn’t inclusion it’s the stretching of the void.” Judgement and criticism can never create peace, especially within ourselves.

5)      The Magic is in The Moment

Our children are so good at knowing and living in the pursuit of feeling good. They know that if it feels Off, it’s Off. We spend the rest of their childhood trying to convince them they have it wrong... when really they’ve got it right. By following how something feels we live in awareness of each moment. It doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t do what we need to do, but we take a step aside to focus differently, place ourselves in our inner room, or wait a bit before jumping in.

 Our children do this by living in their moment and it is a child’s Moment that matters. It is the little cuddles Christmas Eve that feel the warmest, rather than the big dinner. It’s the icing cookies, or watching candles flicker that create the best memories.

Most of the stress we create perpetuates around the big deals we feel we need to create for our children and family, finding that perfect gift, creating that perfect memory, when by letting life unfold, and enjoying the little moments, we create bigger moments full of magic... naturally. Also, when we other family members, when we are taking care of the moment, focusing on the little joys with our children, we create a bubble around us and our  kids. We share looks, laughs and exchanges, we connect with them, rather than being distracted by the bigger picture. Life flows.

There they are. 5 quick tips to a Happy Family Holiday Experience. 

With them, I would like to extend this invitation: Create a New Experience This Year.

So often each holiday get together is exactly the same, even down to the trimmings. If we don’t get along with Grandma and she makes us feel the same now as she did when we were ten, there’s a bit of a reason. We always get the energy we expect, as, when we remember an experience, we create that space and emit it. Then we get it back again. Law of Attraction Strikes.(if you want more detail on how to alter your attraction point for the holidays, I cover it fully on my audio course.) Therefore, set a different stage. Invite a different experience in. Focus on the positive aspects, change the feeling and expectation, shake it up.. and see what happens.

Here’s to Happy thoughts, dreams, and focuses and may they create a beautiful New Year!

Check out Christina’s Audio Course- Taking the Stress out of the Holidays and take part in the 75% discount using the code holidayspirit to get it for $19 in time for the holiday rush.

TAKING THE STRESS OUT OF THE HOLIDAYS

Well, it’s been a busy year for me and there’s something about December that always makes me feel like I need to wrap up a year well; like a present.

So, I made myself one.

I’d promised myself that this year I was going to make my first course. It started off as going to be a course for the online platform Udemy, but then I decided, what with some travel happening and new plans, that a simple audio course would be easier and would flow more.
 People were starting to talk about Holiday stress and how they didn’t feel comfortable around family and friends, how they didn’t feel the holidays reflected their true selves, and Ta Da! The course topic was found.

Writing it in the back of our car during our inspired roadtrip to Winnipeg MB, and then recording it once we found the suitable studio when we got into town, its been a whirlwind experiment, but one I’m proud of.

The course is broken up in 3 sections.

You. Other People. And your Children. And how those three elements can be stressed focused during the Holiday Season.

The Course then offers tips and tools, meditations, processes and exercises to tap into your higher self, and trust your inner wisdom. It offers dig deep exercises that help you discover how you REALLY feel about stuff, and then helps you pivot around those “niggly” people that make you feel crappy, even though you haven’t done anything wrong. Actually the entire middle section is dedicated to finding your centre at family dinners or work events. And then there’s the section on Your Children, how to help them connect and stay true to themselves, how to hear them, under the hysteria, how to enjoy the magic moments and see it through their eyes, rather than rushing through for the something bigger.

Throughout there’s reset buttons and tools for The Law of Attraction, as well as meditations and energy work.

It’s a pretty full Holiday Toolbox. With a workbook included.

But it was only finished, what with one thing and another, the first week of December.

That could be a little crazy... or silly... for a course about the holidays.

But I do tell everyone to just trust.... go with the flow... follow the downstream option which carries you to how it’s all meant to be.

So, the course, that is usually set at $77 for the rest of the year, has a bit of a twist.

Sign up for the newsletter to the side of this post, and you get a code  for 75% off.

Which makes it $19.25

I love seeing how things turn out don’t you? And I love having everyone on my FB page and newsletter involved and the Spiritually Aware Parenting community able to grow together.

So, I hope you check this new venture of mine out.

The purpose is to create a holiday season which will be filled with joyful, awe-inspiring, moments (like the ones you used to have as a kid) and to use that as an attraction point for a brilliant new year. Its meant for you... and I’m so happy to be able to offer it to you this month for under $20!

Anyway, let me know what you think of it... I’ll be working on another course soon and could do with any feedback.

You can find it at

http://christinafletcher.bandcamp.com/album/taking-the-stress-out-of-the-holidays

BUT SIGN UP FOR THE NEWSLETTER FIRST!!!!!

(either in the sidebar beside this post or at http://spirituallyawareparenting.com/special-gifts.html )

And as you never know how life will flow.... just in case.

Happy, Stress Free, Holidays. Relax, breathe, let go and love!