Everyone’s allowed to feel off sometimes... even our children.
Our son has had a number played on him lately. From a trip he was reluctant to take 8 months ago, to losing his pet cat, having 2 cavities, and getting the flu, he started a run of misery over the last few months.
His poor cousin who came to visit him.
Although every couple of young boys will have run ins, not often is rambunctious behaviour treated with such... well, dare I say, moaning that’s been happening.
I’ve been totally understanding and I think family members around me have been surprised by my nonchalant reactions to our boy’s shrugs, shrieks and mutterings. I wasn’t going to ask him for perfect behaviour... not right now. He turned 7 yesterday... he needs his growing space. It needed to be the right time, and the right place to say something.
We all do it sometimes, don’t we? Get into a rut of thinking and processing... carving out neural pathways of stories that don’t bring us joy?
I haven’t written a personal post for a long time, but what just happened seems to be something that should be shared with you all. It’s a reminder to me that this parenting business is about balance and timing. Also, a lot of you have asked about passing on the law of attraction to our children and this is one of those occasions that gives a great example.
Our son wiped out today as he tried to enjoy a carnival. He had a sore throat and was already dis-connected... and he decided to run down a ramp, falling and grazing his two knees.
He went on a few rides in the afternoon, then went back to lie down... with a definite focus on how horrible things were.
When his cousin came in to say goodnight, he refused a hug, and barely said goodnight.
That was the window I’d been looking for.
I reminded him of how if he showed love, he’d bring in love and if he wanted to feel better and change the direction of how things were going for him.. to go, say a proper goodnight to his cousin, give him a hug, then go have a proper snack and a nice bedtime to start a better day tomorrow.
I suggested his focus was spiraling and snowballing and although it was hard to feel good with sore throats and sore knees, it was what he needed to do... and the first step was to let love pour from his heart.
He asked if he could go out of the room alone and I heard him go and say goodnight to his cousin. I saw him come out, looking a million times lighter.
He knew he felt better. He knew that the cycle was broken. He knew he was love and when he expresses love... he could express himself.
I’m waiting to see how it plays out tomorrow and for the rest of his cousin’s visit.. but I wanted to share this story with you because it’s really important to remember...
We can’t force these sort of lessons... rather sometimes the offness IS the process, the relief of coming back to Yourself is the Lesson.... no force necessary.
As parents we often feel that we have to teach... but sometimes its too soon. We feel that we have to control, but sometimes that stops the experience of the contrast to what works and what doesn’t, we also sometimes feel like we can’t trust the process, but we can.
We can only Allow the moment to arrive... the Aha moment when it all makes sense.... and then grab it following our own instincts rather than the outside view of it all.
If we miss one moment, don’t worry, another one will come and another. It’s like surfing the wave, waiting for the perfect, synchronized moment. The trick is to be tapped in to your own sense of self so you can recognize it.
What we pass on to our children, is often what we need to remember ourselves.
We can panic and freak out that things aren’t going as planned, that we’re dropping the ball, not living our purpose, or not being a good parent but that too is like riding a wave or floating on the water. When we struggle we sink...
Relax, breathe, re-focus and allow.